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A thread in which the punchline is provided...

Started by The Masked Unit, April 26, 2011, 04:20:56 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

The Masked Unit

And you write the joke, and then provide a new punchline.

"No, no... I said those are my AIDS tablets!"

Johnny Townmouse

- "Why were you so relieved that I still wanted to have that wonderful unprotected anal sex with you even though your Maid is ill at the moment?"

- "No, no... I said those are my AIDS tablets!"


Punchline:
"Only if you can find some extra-small condoms!"



ElTopo

I'm trying to arrange a stag-do at the moment. It's gonna be the piss-up to end all piss-ups - but it needs to be somewhere a bit different. So I phoned my travel agent earlier today and enquired whether Lilliput is a safe place to go and get completely fucked. He replied:

"Only if you can find some extra-small condoms!"


Punchline:
"I told you not to get the hump!"

placeholder

"I'm leaving - this camel steak's greasy."


"To get to the other side."

The Masked Unit

Why did the piece of meat make fun of the other piece of meat?


"But father, that's mother's best rolling pin!"

Crabwalk

'Stop your crying, boy!' demanded Nigel Slater's dad, as he beat his son with a kitchen implement for the crime of being camp.

-------

I'll never hitchhike again.

Whellybob

This is a little late for The Masked Unit's punchline but it took a while so I'm going to post it anyway.

'Achmed, when your mother and I were married I pledged not only to honour her but also to accomodate and live in accordance with your religion. Yes, my squeamishness means that there are parts of Islamic law to which I am loath to comply but just remember I am doing this for you. In the interest of not losing my nerve I will hear no further protest! Watch as I deftly kill this goat in accordance with the laws of Dhabīḥah.'

ElTopo

What did Tina Turner say after finally rejecting her husband's abusive behaviour?

I'll never hitchhike again


Punchline:
Rubik's pube!

Depressed Beyond Tables

Did you hear Wayne Rooney got a Brazillian?

Rubik's pube!

punchline: Get your bollocks out of my face.

Crabwalk

A rollicking night at the A-Team orgy was spoiled when Mr T penetrated his fellow Soldier of Fortune too deeply. The poor recipient was in so much agony, Hannibal had to step in and order BA to...

Punchline: I was only copying Princess Anne.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Last night I was balls deep in the enormous hairy fat sweaty gash of a Papuan twill magnate's youngest daughter. As she was on the watershed of ultra-come I withdrew and emptied my litres of urine all over her, whinnying like a thoroughbred. Or to put it more accurately, like the native hogbeasts who's calls I use to imitate and initiate long heavenly sex with with, plunging my blacked phallus over and over into the beasts foreign sex organs. As the obese fiefbitch lay there writhing and seething she insisted I shat all over her, a request I was loathe to rebuke.

-------

Punchline: '...and that's 'How, For Now!'



Crabwalk

(I apologise for this travesty in advance)

When you put the name of the Olympic cyclist's Krautrock appreciation society
Spoiler alert
'Hoy for Neu!'
[close]
into a Northern Irish to English translator, you get a kid's TV sign-off...

Punchline:
She's got three legs and a copy of the Daily Mail.

Whellybob

Reporters stationed at London's Great Ormond Street Hospital apprehensively awaited news on the condition of Carol Vorderman (52) and her third child after she was rushed to hospital after a dizzy-spell this wednesday. The child is, at six-months premature, the earliest successfully delivered premature child to have ever been born at the historical Ormond Street hospital. Whilst initially shocked by the occurrence Carol and her on/off lover The Crest of The Isle of Man (825) were pleased to find that the child was born without problems. 'We really feared she come out all mangled, like one of them spastics you see about' she told us, adding that they were both pleased to find that '...at the very least

-----------

Pollen levels are up to dangerous highs.

Johnny Townmouse

- I hear that bloke from Poland and the Bulgarian currency's collection of fashion magazines have been freebasing crack and heroin speedballs?

- Pole n' Lev Elles are up to dangerous highs.

Spoiler alert
Does that shit count?
[close]

------------

The unofficial sixth member of the Spice Girls.

What was most shocking in the scandal of the Spice Girls being five men in drag? The unofficial sixth member of the Spice Girls.

-----------------

Punchline: It's called The Aristocats!

Crabwalk

Since becoming more sporty, in order to lose the weight she'd gained since having her baby (which was scary), Sarah Ferguson realised she finally had all the attributes and experience needed to become..

-------------------

Several tubs of Ben and Jerry's.