Author Topic: Earth Shattering Local News  (Read 52422 times)

imitationleather

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #870 on: January 19, 2019, 02:11:41 PM »
Drug user repeatedly smacked his penis off shop counter before laughing as he left the store

Joanne Hesse, prosecuting, said that on January 20, last year, Mohan had gone into the Lifestyle Express store in Hartlepool at 9am and approached the shop owner. "He exposed his genitals and started playing with himself", she said. He then placed his penis on the counter and banged it against it several times. He then laughed and left the store.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/drug-user-repeatedly-smacked-penis-15683836

I swear that these stories always seem to be from the North-East.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #871 on: January 19, 2019, 02:14:34 PM »

girth-shattering local news morelike

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #872 on: February 04, 2019, 01:50:05 PM »
Sinkhole near Church and King partially swallows car

Quote
A man was driving along Court St., when the front end of his car suddenly collasped through the road, Toronto police said.

...The sinkhole is roughly 10 inches long, 6 inches wide and 4 inches deep...

https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2019/02/04/sinkhole-near-church-and-king-partially-swallows-car.html

Blumf

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #873 on: February 04, 2019, 02:30:37 PM »
https://www.dudleynews.co.uk/news/17406732.ytytyttyyt/
Quote
3 hrs ago

ytytyttyyt

By Martyn Smith

ytytytyt

Can't say fairer than that


Meanwhile, in more comprehensible news:
https://www.expressandstar.com/news/local-hubs/dudley/2019/02/01/jimmy-carrs-dad-in-row-with-dudley-council-over-roundabout-advertising/
Quote
Jimmy Carr's dad in row with Dudley Council over roundabout advertising

Can't say the adverts are effective, what with being more concerned with navigating the traffic around the roundabouts, I've never noticed the ads.

FerriswheelBueller

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Dex Sawash

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #876 on: February 05, 2019, 12:05:46 PM »

Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #877 on: February 05, 2019, 12:23:55 PM »
The Express and Star is great.

https://www.expressandstar.com/news/local-hubs/dudley/2019/02/04/cheers-for-sale-house-with-its-own-pub/

That's a bar, not a pub. I dare say he's not licensed to actually *sell* intoxicating spirits to his friends. This is far from an unusual feature for a house to have.So, this article fits the remit of this thread very well. Well done, this article!

gilbertharding

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #878 on: February 05, 2019, 01:03:05 PM »
Indeed. "Call that a pub in a house for sale? THIS is a pub* in a house for sale: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/news/articles/celebrity-homes/iron-maiden-star-sells-his-essex-home-pub-included/"



*not a pub either, well, probably.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #879 on: February 05, 2019, 06:53:58 PM »
Sinkhole near Church and King partially swallows car

https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2019/02/04/sinkhole-near-church-and-king-partially-swallows-car.html

A man was driving along Court St., when the front end of his car suddenly collasped through the road, Toronto police said.

...The sinkhole is roughly 10 inches long, 6 inches wide and 4 inches deep...

Sadly, the police issued a correction - they meant feet, not inches. The idea of a 4” deep pot hole being said to “partially swallow” a car is no longer on the table.

Blumf

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #880 on: February 05, 2019, 07:53:57 PM »
Sadly, the police issued a correction - they meant feet, not inches.