Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 01:24:48 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Earth Shattering Local News

Started by Blumf, June 23, 2011, 04:34:22 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

tookish

http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/Stolen-puppy-Buster-home-time-Christmas/story-17522525-detail/story.html

QuoteWHEN Buster was stolen, heartbroken mum Emma Jones feared her children would never see the family's four-legged best friend ever again.

But all her Christmases came at once on Friday as the Mitcheldean mum-of-two shopped in Gloucester's Debenhams.


Lazy Daisy

QuoteUP to 600 people braved the cold temperatures to attend this year's town centre Christmas lights switch-on. Flipping the switch this time was Sittingbourne's very own paralympian Steve Brown, who led the GB wheelchair rugby team during London 2012. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas THE town centre is awash with colour thanks to the Christmas lights switch-on.

http://cache2-thumb1.pressdisplay.com/pressdisplay/docserver/getimage.aspx?regionguid=dec1c9a8-8bb7-4689-aef3-99b1129c33ad&scale=76&file=88672012120500000000001001&regionKey=5jmhFoQnBa6TYCODAXBkNQ%3d%3d

Cerys


Unoriginal

Last January, I remember a Cambrian news story that centered around Santa Claus having things thrown at him by kids. The best part was the refusal to deny the existence of Santa, meaning that any kid who may have read the article probably thinks that Santa is never going to return to Aberystwyth.

I also remember a BBC Wales news headline focused on a really crap flood in Port Talbot. A dipshit Lidls worker was interviewed and told the story about an old man on a motorised scooter who tried to drive through a big puddle and ended up having to swim out of it without the scooter. Nobody laughed.

billtheburger


BlodwynPig

Surely a joke! oh, yes, old Sharon Bromance up to her tricks again.

Blumf

The real story here is that some woman stole a tree's hat. Give her an ASBO!

Cerys


Blumf

It's this kind of slapdash reporting that caused John Craven to leave the Harrogate Advertiser in disgust.

BlodwynPig

From Severn Trent Water News:

Birmingham bogus bidet callers warning

Blumf

Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!

http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2012/12/19/cooking-oil-thieves-stole-from-merry-hill-kfc-vat/
QuoteCooking oil thieves stole from Merry Hill KFC vat

...
Suspicious police then searched their white Transit van, discovering a vat of foul-smelling used cooking oil and a siphoning kit.

Detectives quickly discovered a spate of identical but unsolved offences dating from November 2011
...


syntaxerror

QuoteNoisy flatulence interrupts court session in Grimsby

THE quiet dignity of a court session was abruptly disturbed when someone loudly broke wind in the public gallery.

Nobody apologised for the noisy interruption – and there were anxious looks from people nearby who feared they might get the blame. Grimsby magistrates pretended they had not heard a thing, and in a seemingly unrelated incident a few minutes later, all the lights went out for a few seconds before flickering back on again.

http://bit.ly/U37kLL

ZoyzaSorris

I live in the borough of Lewisham so my local paper has about three or four murders plus 10-20 maimings in it a week. Luckily I live in an enclave free of the poor, desperate and unwashed.
The local paper is at least not some Gannett-owned right wing shitrag like my previous local paper the Argus though, for instance has quite a lot of coverage of things like the current Lewsiham Hospital debacle (attended the march last week, was nice to 25000 people out in force in your local town centre)

Big Jack McBastard

Quote from: syntaxerror on February 01, 2013, 10:45:59 PM
in a seemingly unrelated incident a few minutes later, all the lights went out for a few seconds before flickering back on again.

I like how it was 'seemingly unrelated' like the fart *might* have had something to do with it, you never know.

"You weren't there man, that fart could have stripped the tungsten right out of the bulbs."

mycroft



But if he didn't do it... Who did...?




Mildly Diverting



mook

Quote from: Mildly Diverting on March 07, 2013, 01:56:43 PM
Did you use shift or caps lock? And did it feel good?

it felt wrong. i don't like the buttons that make the letters all angry looking.


jenna appleseed




BlodwynPig


Hangthebuggers

Bronwyn Page saw the Monkey. That's my first album title sorted. Now I just need to learn how to play something. Easy this music lark.

Big Jack McBastard


Cerys

Surely it should be 'Arcellious Fortson ... Molested by bear'.