Author Topic: Earth Shattering Local News  (Read 77305 times)

Cuellar

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #930 on: August 07, 2019, 09:37:15 AM »
Does it count as local news if it makes the front page of the BBC website?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-49254511



Just realised I have never eaten a gooseberry. I haven't lived.

I'd LOVE to stamp on that in front of his stupid face

Blumf

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #931 on: August 12, 2019, 10:46:46 PM »
https://www.dudleynews.co.uk/news/17824609.revamped-wickes-store-unveiled-halesowen/
Quote
A NEW-look branch of Wickes has been unveiled in Halesowen.

Okaaaay... not sure why that needs to be news. But...

Quote
The store also benefitted from a makeover by volunteers from ICEC Community Centre in Lye who worked for two days to build benches and planters from scratch to brighten up the front of the centre.

So a commercial property was spruced up by volunteers? I'm sure the article is missing something. The area the store is in is a grubby industrial zone, so I'm not sure how much you could do with it.


Bonus fact:
The Wickes branch is just across the (busy and grimy dual carriageway) road from the Leasowes park which is very pretty and worth a visit if you're anywhere near.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Leasowes

thecuriousorange

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #933 on: August 16, 2019, 08:31:29 PM »


Shut up Surrey Live, you're not the boss of me.

imitationleather

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #934 on: August 16, 2019, 08:34:06 PM »


Shut up Surrey Live, you're not the boss of me.

The police recommend that if you see a beat cop walking down the street, even if he/she doesn't notice you, it's for the best to go up to them and say "I'm sorry I've got loads of drugs on me. Just in my pockets didn't put any in my pants and socks because you told me not to but there's loads of it because I sell it for my job."

Blumf

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #935 on: August 17, 2019, 12:30:44 AM »
If only drug dealers would wear a top hat, there'd be no need to ruin the elastic on their Y-fronts.

Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #936 on: September 27, 2019, 12:35:33 PM »
'I can't help having a big penis' - Stoke-on-Trent shopper accused of stealing clothes drops pants to prove suspicious bulge was actually his manhood

https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/i-cant-help-having-big-3362946

Quote
"They wouldn't let it go so I felt I had no choice but to pull my trousers down. I told them 'Look, I've got nothing to hide' but they still kept accusing me.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #937 on: September 28, 2019, 12:21:54 PM »
Quote
I felt like I was a little man, be it one with a large penis   

Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #938 on: October 22, 2019, 10:42:23 PM »
The Brighton Argus's lead story tonight.


Bum Flaps

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #939 on: November 07, 2019, 12:05:34 AM »
Bath couple furious leaking pipe not fixed...
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/bath-couple-furious-leaking-pipe-3507668

Caution: Contains close up images of the back of their sink. 


Dex Sawash

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #940 on: November 07, 2019, 01:17:35 AM »


Dissapointment rivaling that of teen denied holiday employment



Cuntbeaks

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #941 on: November 07, 2019, 02:21:50 AM »


Dissapointment rivaling that of teen denied holiday employment


Mike Paradinas has let himself go.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #942 on: November 07, 2019, 07:09:34 AM »
Slag boomed my loo

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #943 on: November 07, 2019, 08:39:27 AM »
Mike Paradinas has let himself go.

lol

BlodwynPig

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #944 on: November 07, 2019, 09:27:04 AM »

thecuriousorange

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #945 on: November 07, 2019, 10:31:23 PM »
Gran and pal team up to write steamy novel

https://bit.ly/2PW7yFC

imitationleather

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #946 on: November 07, 2019, 10:36:24 PM »
Gran and pal team up to write steamy novel

https://bit.ly/2PW7yFC

Quote
Imelda Doherty, 46, a great-grandmother-of-one

Great-grandmother? 46?! Fuck the sex novel part, there's your story!

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #947 on: November 07, 2019, 10:38:55 PM »
Thats pregnant at 14 for 3 generations?

BlodwynPig

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #948 on: November 07, 2019, 10:41:22 PM »
Quote
But the pair, who met at a party where Enzo Calzaghe was playing the guitar, clicked as friends and decided to write together.

*shrugs gif*


Blumf

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #950 on: June 20, 2020, 01:06:19 AM »
https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/18529800.black-robin-hood-mooned-judge-flashed-genitals-oxford-sentencing-hearing/

Quote
A SELF-STYLED ‘black Robin Hood’ who terrorised Didcot

Classic comedy town name.



https://www.dudleynews.co.uk/news/18521459.picnickers-urged-stay-off-farmers-field-next-somers-park/
Quote
A HALESOWEN environmentalist is urging scores of picnickers to stay off a farmer's field during lockdown - as they are destroying his crop.
...
 "Please do not use it.

"We must not upset the farmer.

Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #951 on: June 20, 2020, 02:05:03 AM »
https://www.dudleynews.co.uk/news/18521459.picnickers-urged-stay-off-farmers-field-next-somers-park/

Farm near me tweeted this when lockdown hit: "Please, we implore you, please don't come to the farm. We are working hard to grow your food. We know it's lovely up on the farm but please don't come to the farm."

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Earth Shattering Local News
« Reply #952 on: June 20, 2020, 03:36:52 AM »
Farm near me tweeted this when lockdown hit: "Please, we implore you, please don't come to the farm. We are working hard to grow your food. We know it's lovely up on the farm but please don't come to the farm."

...but in a thick Black Country accent.