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Earth Shattering Local News

Started by Blumf, June 23, 2011, 04:34:22 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cuellar

Quote from: Blue Jam on August 06, 2019, 10:35:49 PM
Does it count as local news if it makes the front page of the BBC website?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-49254511



Just realised I have never eaten a gooseberry. I haven't lived.

I'd LOVE to stamp on that in front of his stupid face

Blumf

https://www.dudleynews.co.uk/news/17824609.revamped-wickes-store-unveiled-halesowen/
QuoteA NEW-look branch of Wickes has been unveiled in Halesowen.

Okaaaay... not sure why that needs to be news. But...

QuoteThe store also benefitted from a makeover by volunteers from ICEC Community Centre in Lye who worked for two days to build benches and planters from scratch to brighten up the front of the centre.

So a commercial property was spruced up by volunteers? I'm sure the article is missing something. The area the store is in is a grubby industrial zone, so I'm not sure how much you could do with it.


Bonus fact:
The Wickes branch is just across the (busy and grimy dual carriageway) road from the Leasowes park which is very pretty and worth a visit if you're anywhere near.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Leasowes


Small Man Big Horse



Shut up Surrey Live, you're not the boss of me.

imitationleather

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on August 16, 2019, 08:31:29 PM


Shut up Surrey Live, you're not the boss of me.

The police recommend that if you see a beat cop walking down the street, even if he/she doesn't notice you, it's for the best to go up to them and say "I'm sorry I've got loads of drugs on me. Just in my pockets didn't put any in my pants and socks because you told me not to but there's loads of it because I sell it for my job."

Blumf

If only drug dealers would wear a top hat, there'd be no need to ruin the elastic on their Y-fronts.

'I can't help having a big penis' - Stoke-on-Trent shopper accused of stealing clothes drops pants to prove suspicious bulge was actually his manhood

https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/i-cant-help-having-big-3362946

Quote"They wouldn't let it go so I felt I had no choice but to pull my trousers down. I told them 'Look, I've got nothing to hide' but they still kept accusing me.

Dex Sawash

QuoteI felt like I was a little man, be it one with a large penis   

popcorn

The Brighton Argus's lead story tonight.


Bum Flaps

Bath couple furious leaking pipe not fixed...
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/bath-couple-furious-leaking-pipe-3507668

Caution: Contains close up images of the back of their sink. 


Dex Sawash



Dissapointment rivaling that of teen denied holiday employment



Cuntbeaks

Quote from: Dex Sawash on November 07, 2019, 01:17:35 AM


Dissapointment rivaling that of teen denied holiday employment


Mike Paradinas has let himself go.

BlodwynPig



BlodwynPig



imitationleather

Quote from: thecuriousorange on November 07, 2019, 10:31:23 PM
Gran and pal team up to write steamy novel

https://bit.ly/2PW7yFC

QuoteImelda Doherty, 46, a great-grandmother-of-one

Great-grandmother? 46?! Fuck the sex novel part, there's your story!

BlodwynPig

Thats pregnant at 14 for 3 generations?

BlodwynPig

QuoteBut the pair, who met at a party where Enzo Calzaghe was playing the guitar, clicked as friends and decided to write together.

*shrugs gif*


Blumf

Quote from: Mr Banlon on June 19, 2020, 07:41:36 PM
https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/18529800.black-robin-hood-mooned-judge-flashed-genitals-oxford-sentencing-hearing/

QuoteA SELF-STYLED 'black Robin Hood' who terrorised Didcot

Classic comedy town name.




https://www.dudleynews.co.uk/news/18521459.picnickers-urged-stay-off-farmers-field-next-somers-park/
QuoteA HALESOWEN environmentalist is urging scores of picnickers to stay off a farmer's field during lockdown - as they are destroying his crop.
...
"Please do not use it.

"We must not upset the farmer.

popcorn

Quote from: Blumf on June 20, 2020, 01:06:19 AM
https://www.dudleynews.co.uk/news/18521459.picnickers-urged-stay-off-farmers-field-next-somers-park/

Farm near me tweeted this when lockdown hit: "Please, we implore you, please don't come to the farm. We are working hard to grow your food. We know it's lovely up on the farm but please don't come to the farm."

Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on June 20, 2020, 02:05:03 AM
Farm near me tweeted this when lockdown hit: "Please, we implore you, please don't come to the farm. We are working hard to grow your food. We know it's lovely up on the farm but please don't come to the farm."

...but in a thick Black Country accent.

kalowski

https://www.yorkmix.com/first-york-band-since-shed-seven-sign-to-a-major-record-label/
QuoteBull become the first York band since Shed Seven to sign to a major record label

I like the bald one.

AsparagusTrevor





Cuellar