"Agent-16, this is Lt. Potter of the SAS" - Fanfic

[Cohaagen]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6808016/1/The_Sniper_II_Babylonian_Nights

"I am convinced that the events of March 30 – April 2 were not the intention of the Iraqi wizards that unleashed it."

The above story represents an almost perfect synergy of Tom Clancy, Jerry Aherne (complete with weapons perving) and JK Rowling. An exemplar of the amateur's art, this...was the work of an alchemist.

I'm obsessed with finding new pieces of inapt, clumsy, excessive wish-fulfilment put on paper, often alternating between astonishment and helpless laughter as I desperately try to top the last demented masterpiece. Besides their immediate and obvious comedy value, these stories often furnish the reader with unintentional insight into deeply troubling character traits and personalities as gnarled and stunted as bonsai trees. Every Furry a glowering tiger, each man his own publishing house. I love them.

Give us the most unhinged piece of fan fiction you've ever read, and let the "Girls Scream Aloud" tags commence.

[Phil_A]

Oh, you want some truly absurd? How about Dragon Ball Z meets Anne Frank? Yep, someone actually went there.

http://smallcave.net/goferchan/afgoku01.html

One of the most disturbing and hilarious things I ever discovered was an archive of erotic fan fiction inspired by the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway. I don't have the link anymore though, and I suspect it may've been destroyed in the Geocities Purge.

[Consignia]

Oh, you want some truly absurd? How about Dragon Ball Z meets Anne Frank? Yep, someone actually went there.

http://smallcave.net/goferchan/afgoku01.html

Ha-ha, that's brill. My favourite line:

Hitler had become a Super Saiyan.

Well, I can see the attractive for old Adolf, the muscle-bound, blonde haired super-race.

I once penned a Sailor Moon/To Kill a Mockingbird crossover. Well, it was more of a paragraph really, in response to things like the above.

[wheatgod]

Doom: Repercussions of Evil

[Cohaagen]

That Anne Frank story is incredible, Phil_A. I dread to think what else her father suppressed apart from that and all the stuff about her periods and slagging off her mum.

And lest anyone think I am exagerrating about my original recommendation, or scattering my praise as carelessly as birdseed, let me offer the following passages from the inaugural installment as proof of the author's genius:

The wounded and captives were AK'd as a warning to any others that still sought to stop the Dark Lord

The .338 Magnum hollow-point bullet entered Voldemort's head just to the left of my target point. The soft lead of the bullet quickly mushroomed and took most of the back of the Dark Lord's head with it as it exited.

A detached, observer in me noted that Draco and his mother, Narcissa, were covered in Tommie-boy's brains. They both looked stunned. Heh, that's the only way the git would ever get some brains.

You people expelled me remember? I killed Tommy for my parents and Cedric, not the wizarding world.

I spotted an unusual sight coming down towards us. It looked like a magically propelled wheelchair.

[madhair60]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2945837/1/Halflife_Fulllife_Consequences

Half life: Full Life Consequences

[Famous Mortimer]

If you've got some time on your hands, then there's a wrestling fanfiction story prominently featuring the Undertaker which clocks in at 918,000 words:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2149955/1/

To give that length some context, "Clarissa" by Samuel Richardson (which appears to still be the single longest novel in the English language) is 969,000 words. 

[The Masked Unit]

Last time we were recruiting, an applicant listed writing fan fiction as one of his hobbies. I didn't invite him in for an interview.

[mothman]

Before I bother to go looking for it, does slash-fanfic actually count? Because I once read a hilarious account of an, um, away mission featuring Deanna Troi and Beverly Crusher.

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

One of the most disturbing and hilarious things I ever discovered was an archive of erotic fan fiction inspired by the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway. I don't have the link anymore though, and I suspect it may've been destroyed in the Geocities Purge.

Ah yeah, I found that once (in fact I think I found more than one). Ah, the sweet sound of thirteen-year-old girls masturbating to the thought of bald men in their forties examining each other's erections in hotel rooms.

[madhair60]

http://wliialove.weebly.com/index.html

:)

[hpmons]

Hm, I can't find the Pokemon one, but I remember it was suitably creepy and involved having sex with a reluctant Pokemon...But worst of all the writer didn't even change the trainer's name, just put his own name in the fiction.

[Mister Six]

"Hello, and welcome to my homepage. My name is Ulrich Haarbürste and I like to write stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling-film."

http://michaelkelly.artofeurope.com/karl.htm

[Famous Mortimer]

"Hello, and welcome to my homepage. My name is Ulrich Haarbürste and I like to write stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling-film."

http://michaelkelly.artofeurope.com/karl.htm

That is absolutely magnificent.

[taargus]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2945837/1/Halflife_Fulllife_Consequences

Half life: Full Life Consequences

That has made my day it's so full of joy and testosterone. I'm choosing to believe that the author is oh, let's say under the age of 13. I will require no supporting evidence for that definite FACT as if I find out the truth is otherwise life might not be worth living.

[taargus]

Other People's Roy in Clingfilm Stories
I regret to announce that I am no longer able to accept stories of Roy in Clingfilm written by other people as I am unable to find a server who will host such tales.

Yeah right, he's just trying to corner the burgeoning market for himself.