Phrases or bits of advice that have floated around in your mind for years.

[terminallyrelaxed]

My brother, during a drunken baking incident: "When you mix with the Devil, use a long spoon."

[Cerys]

My drunk friend... "no wonder I was sick, look, my stomach was full of puke"

Ever seen a water-spraying loon?  Well, I giggled like one.

Phrases that spring to mind from my parents are:

From my dad -

The world doesn't revolve around you

Eat quieter, you sound like a pig chewing coal

Only fools and donkeys go well loaded

From my mum -

Every little helps, said the woman as she piddled in the river

Confucius he say, 'woman who boils beans and peas in same pot unsanitary'

If you're not sure if it's a weed, ask me first!

From these you can probably tell that I always got on better with my mum.  Hey ho.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

"don't struggle or it'll hurt more".

....OH.

[chimpoo]

the phrase:  ' everything's relative'  has been undermining my every thought since the summer of 1987.  Great argument winner though.

[Ronster]

The best words of wisdom from my mum have been 'A wise man goes when he can, a foolish man goes when he must'

Pretty obvious but saves being caught short without a toilet to hand on occasion

[terminallyrelaxed]

No matter where you go, there you are....

[Purple Tentacle]

Never spill loose museli quite high above sea level.

JUST MUSELI!!!!!



If you do get trapped in your flat... try NOT to get trapped in your flat.

[Jed Maxwell]

If you sit under an elephant's arse, you're going to get shit on.

Always think of above when hear of bungee jumpers getting wiped out or skydivers or 'extreme' sport competitors of any kind really. Ditto jilted partners on 'Trisha', drug addicts who overdose, War correspondants, England Goalkeepers who stand BEHIND the defensive wall etc.