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March 29, 2024, 12:41:16 AM

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Job Interview help!! (oh god....)

Started by Jet Set Willy, February 08, 2004, 08:41:39 PM

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Jet Set Willy

I've got a job interview tomorrow morning and I'm going to have to get up early!
I haven't had many interviews and I'd really like this job so I was wondering if all the whores out there would be able to brief me on some of the questions that they feel are likely to come up, and how best to answer them!

Jokey suggestions welcomed, but I do want some proper advice...

Vermschneid Mehearties

Having had 2 interviews ever, and 'passing' them both, my main advice is to sit there and listen to what they have to say, answering 'Yes' to a "Are you alright with that?" sort of a question.

Depending on what job you're getting, twice I've just been talked to, and rarely had to go into any length, and my attempts to do so came across as being horribly scripted. So just listen, or whistle while they're talking, to pass the time before they finally shut up and give you the job.

Doctor Stamen

http://content.monster.co.uk/Job_hunting/articles2/coping_with_interviews/

I was going through the same thing this time last year, and to be honest it always takes a few interviews to get your technique just right.  I went to a few interviews for jobs I didn't even want, just so I could work on what to do when a proper interview came about.  Try and relax, that's the main thing, and though it might sound painfully obvious, think about what you're saying before you open your gob.  Good luck anyway!

Dr David V

Never assume anything. A while ago I assumed I had a job at The Link (remember?) but they screwed me over, telling me I came in at a close second (I was probably too ugly for the job). So don't assume anything, as you'll just be in for disappointment.

Now be greatful I gave you good advice. I gave someone bad advice once, a week later, they died of a knife in the stomach.

Blue Jam

Who is it with, and what position is it for? I've had lots of interviews, and although my pass rate is somewhat lower than VM's (possibly due to the law of averages, but I don't want to try and fool myself here), but I might be able to suggest what you can expect.

Quote from: "Doctor Stamen"...to be honest it always takes a few interviews to get your technique just right. I went to a few interviews for jobs I didn't even want, just so I could work on what to do when a proper interview came about.

I reckon this is very good advice- I did the same thing last year. Not only do you get to practice your interview technique, but you also learn a lot about different companies, job sectors and corporate cultures, and find out which ones are right for you and which ones you'd only end up hating. I found out that even though I've got business skills that some people seem to think I shouldn't waste, I can't stand work in sales, that the financial jobs that appealed to me three years ago now seem unbearably dull, and that the reality of working in marketing is nowhere near as glamorous or interesting as marketing firms make out.

I've got one on Wednesday too- good luck :)

TraceyQ

Quote from: "Blue Jam"I've had lots of interviews, and although my pass rate is somewhat lower than VM's (possibly due to the law of averages, but I don't want to try and fool myself here)

(pssst! Blue Jam! He works part-time in a supermarket)

Vermschneid Mehearties

Quote(I was probably too ugly for the job).

Ah. But that's all a-fuddle. Marketing garbage research showed us that ugly people are more trusted by the general public, and are questioned less.

Probably how I've managed to enter pubs and access alcohol since the age of 15. Bless my vicious bonce.

-Re- My first post was regarding interviews for very substandard jobs, and if you have an interview in the white collar section, ignore everything I say and just use your common sense.*

*IE-Don't wave your flaccid cock/otter at the interviewer, or pretend to attack them with a joke knife.

EDIT- Lovely to see TraceyQ rushing in at the first opportunity, as if I was ever trying to fool anyone into thinking that I'm a Marketing Executive at 17 or anything. I've never hid the fact I work in a supermarket. (*urgh*)

Bill Oddie

Some agency phoned me on friday offering an interview this week for what would honestly be my dream job (IT network design/roll-out type stuff) but I've got it on the pretext of a mostly fictional C.V.

So not only do I have to bullshit all the way through (and I find it almost impossible to lie convincingly), I also have to be able to blag the answers to questions I can't even begin to predict.

All I would say is that I'm going in there with a folder full of technical questions I've written beforehand and a bunch of networks designs I've "worked on before" (i.e. cobbled together with Visio from vague recollections of conversations I've had). So if I'm asked what experience I've got I can answer "Well look at this stuff that I've done".


Ironically, the less you want a particular job, the more relaxed you tend to be in an interview and consequently the more likely you are to get it.

TraceyQ

Quote from: "Vermschneid Mehearties"
Quote(I EDIT- Lovely to see TraceyQ rushing in at the first opportunity, as if I was ever trying to fool anyone into thinking that I'm a Marketing Executive at 17 or anything. I've never hid the fact I work in a supermarket. (*urgh*)

I would hate to disappoint you, really.

twatloops

Make sure you have a decent question for the end.  When they say "any questions?", its good to pull something out of the hat that makes them have to think themselves.  Even better is if they have to ask someone as you'll stick in their heads for longer.  Obviously, capital cities or highest chart positions isn't the kind of thing though.  Thinking about it, that may work.

sproggy

Well, when I interview people I generally look for a genuine interest and a bit of knowledge about the position.  A CV and qualifications are all well and good, and probably helped get you in the door, but the interview gives you the chance to show your prospective boss what you are really like, just be yourself.

Hence the golden rule, don't pretend to be someone you aren't.  If you do end up getting the job on the pretence of being God's gift to Widgets and it turns out you couldn't give a flying rat's arse about Widgets then you will probably not please anyone, including yourself.

Just remember, no one likes a smart arse (unless it's a job in advertising or journalism) so don't try and outsmart the interviewer.

Most of all, good luck!

Marcus Or Relius

I'll be job-hunting soon too, if my boss ever lets me leave (I'm such a great worker - smart, reliable, easy to push around and exploit - that even though I resigned 5-weeks ago he keeps pleading with me to stay just a bit longer.) I'm not looking forward to interviews, I've had my current job for I five-years so I'm gonna be pretty rusty at it.

I hate the part of the interview when you're asked if you have any questions. I feel like just sighing contemptuously, rolling my eyes and saying "I dunno...how many people work here? How long has the company been established? The usual stuff, y'know.. <BIG YAWN>" then look at my watch and 'tut' whilst they prattle on. Obviously I'd never do it in a proper interview but often it's nice to imagine sitting through one and being totally honest regardless of the consequences. "I want this job because it looks easy and I need the money. Look, if you can't be arsed to ask me sensible questions I'll fuck off now, okay?"

My advice, basically, is just to look dead smart (hoover up the fuzz on that suit!), act polite and pleasant but not sycophantic, and  best of all, act as if you've got the job. Y'know, just look very comfortable and say things like "I'll be a good asset when I start working here, I'm really looking forward to it." With a bit of luck they'll think that they must have offered you the job earlier in the interview but have forgotten. Not wanting to appear foolish or impolite they'll just go along with it and say "Erm...so when can you start Mr Jet Set Willy?"

Tokyo Sexwhale

Quote from: "twatloops"Make sure you have a decent question for the end.  When they say "any questions?", its good to pull something out of the hat that makes them have to think themselves.  Even better is if they have to ask someone as you'll stick in their heads for longer.  Obviously, capital cities or highest chart positions isn't the kind of thing though.  Thinking about it, that may work.

My "killer" question near the end of the interview is:

"Do you have any doubts about my ability to do this job?"

This gives you instant feedback, and allows you to address some of the perceived  weaknesses that came out in the interview.  I've found that very few interviewers are prepared for this question, and if they answer it, you'll have a good idea about your chances of getting the job.

Frinky

Quote from: "Tokyo Sexwhale"My "killer" question near the end of the interview is:

"Do you have any doubts about my ability to do this job?"

Wow, that's really good... I'd worry about catching them out too much, though, if I threw them off/embarrased them I'd worry they'd not give me it out of spite... (I worry a lot). But I'll certianly try that, cheers.

twatloops

Quote from: "Tokyo Sexwhale"
Quote from: "twatloops"Make sure you have a decent question for the end.  When they say "any questions?", its good to pull something out of the hat that makes them have to think themselves.  Even better is if they have to ask someone as you'll stick in their heads for longer.  Obviously, capital cities or highest chart positions isn't the kind of thing though.  Thinking about it, that may work.

My "killer" question near the end of the interview is:

"Do you have any doubts about my ability to do this job?"

This gives you instant feedback, and allows you to address some of the perceived  weaknesses that came out in the interview.  I've found that very few interviewers are prepared for this question, and if they answer it, you'll have a good idea about your chances of getting the job.

I've always been a bit nerved to push it that far.  I was thinking more the kind of thing Marcus Or Relius was talking about; just some question about the company that shows them you've considered your new employer's company.

Tokyo Sexwhale

Quote from: "twatloops"

I've always been a bit nerved to push it that far.  I was thinking more the kind of thing Marcus Or Relius was talking about; just some question about the company that shows them you've considered your new employer's company.

Well you need to show some nerve to get a good job.  Interviewers will remember someone who asked an original question than than someone who asked "the usual".

And it doesn't preclude you from asking about the company or the job itself.  In fact you should also ask questions about your duties (if it's not clear from the job description or the interview itself).  For example: "What would I do on a typical work day?"

twatloops

Quote from: "Tokyo Sexwhale"
Quote from: "twatloops"

I've always been a bit nerved to push it that far.  I was thinking more the kind of thing Marcus Or Relius was talking about; just some question about the company that shows them you've considered your new employer's company.

Well you need to show some nerve to get a good job.  Interviewers will remember someone who asked an original question than than someone who asked "the usual".

And it doesn't preclude you from asking about the company or the job itself.  In fact you should also ask questions about your duties (if it's not clear from the job description or the interview itself).  For example: "What would I do on a typical work day?"

Nice. You've intrigued me now; with these magical interview skills, where do you work?

Tokyo Sexwhale

Quote from: "twatloops"
Quote from: "Tokyo Sexwhale"
Quote from: "twatloops"

I've always been a bit nerved to push it that far.  I was thinking more the kind of thing Marcus Or Relius was talking about; just some question about the company that shows them you've considered your new employer's company.

Well you need to show some nerve to get a good job.  Interviewers will remember someone who asked an original question than than someone who asked "the usual".

And it doesn't preclude you from asking about the company or the job itself.  In fact you should also ask questions about your duties (if it's not clear from the job description or the interview itself).  For example: "What would I do on a typical work day?"

Nice. You've intrigued me now; with these magical interview skills, where do you work?

I've recently joined a newly-formed company, (which I don't want to be too specific about), but I didn't have to interview as I was "head-hunted".

However, I have used the "killer" question on a few occasions, and the reaction has always been interesting.  I've passed this on to a few people, and they've all agreed it had a positive effect in getting them the job.

Of course, it's of no use if you really aren't suited for the job, or can't supply answers when the interviewer does express his/her doubts about your ability.

twatloops

I can picture the scene;

"So do you think I'm up for the job?"
"No."
"Oh fucking arse candles..."

Jet Set Willy

Thanks for your help and good wishes guys!

(I'd forgotten that it's dark and cold in the morning...brrr)

Borboski

Quote from: "Marcus Or Relius"

I hate the part of the interview when you're asked if you have any questions. I feel like just sighing contemptuously, rolling my eyes and saying "I dunno...how many people work here? How long has the company been established? The usual stuff, y'know.. <BIG YAWN>" then look at my watch and 'tut' whilst they prattle on. Obviously I'd never do it in a proper interview but often it's nice to imagine sitting through one and being totally honest regardless of the consequences. "I want this job because it looks easy and I need the money. Look, if you can't be arsed to ask me sensible questions I'll fuck off now, okay?"

A good one to ask them is either generally "What kinds of task will I be working on - what's the day to day duties of the post?" (for example at a first job graduate interview), or if it's expected you'll know that, ask em' "what are you working on now? what's currently going on?"

dan dirty ape

I had an interview once which was like a good cop/bad cop going over, with one friendly, geezerish bloke asking the standard easy to answer questions and one middle management bloke who looked exactly like William G. Stewart from 'Fifteen To One' occasionally booming forth with things like 'What would your reaction be if one of our clients phoned up and called you a FUCKING CUNT?'. I've only had a few interviews in my life so I've no idea if this is standard practice or not.

Good luck anyway, Jet Set Willy.  If they ask you that FUCKING CUNT question I've still no idea what the right answer is.

MojoJojo

Quote from: "Tokyo Sexwhale"
My "killer" question near the end of the interview is:

"Do you have any doubts about my ability to do this job?"

That sounds a bit lacking in confidence to me. Makes it sound like you have doubts about your ability to do the job. That might just be me though.

On a slightly related side story, I remember my dad was the interviewer at one interview from hell. Some woman going for a secretarial job, had somehow ended up having to take her two small children to the interview. She gave them lots and lots of sweets, with the intention of keeping them quiet. Had the unfortuanate effect of making them both sick though, which my dad ended up having to clean up.

Don't know if she got the job or not.

Jet Set Willy

The interview went reasonably well except when they asked if I had any questions. I asked one good one about how I would be introdued to the work but then my mind went blank and got filled with the Sexwhale's silly question.

I've now realised: I dont know whether the place I had the interview is their main office where I would be working

I dont know when the job starts!

Tokyo Sexwhale

Quote from: "Jet Set Willy"The interview went reasonably well except when they asked if I had any questions. I asked one good one about how I would be introdued to the work but then my mind went blank and got filled with the Sexwhale's silly question.

I've now realised: I dont know whether the place I had the interview is their main office where I would be working

I dont know when the job starts!

Silly question?  Did you ask it?  Did they answer?

Jet Set Willy


blue jammer

So how did you leave it? Are they going to contact you, or are you just going to sit back and wait for errrr goodness knows what!

I haven't bothered looking for anymore jobs since my last interview (which was a 2nd interview for an IT job, where I lost out to a scouser, cuh)

Still waiting for EDS' announcement about our account and if I'll get any redundancy pay if our jobs sail off to India, thankyoupleasecallagain...

Jet Set Willy

Well I did ask that, and got into an in depth discussion about why I wanted a letter rather than a phone call.

Also I just found out that I missed out on my first temping opportunity by having my phone on 'silent'. D'oh, I really need some fucking money right now!