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Everything you ever wanted to know but were afraid to ask

Started by The Region Legion, June 16, 2004, 12:31:07 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

elderford

Oh, some lad was on BBC Radio 4 (last Saturday morning) on the Holiday programme; he's just visited everyone of them and has published a guide book of the Shipping FOrecast.

zozman

There's loads of things that I don't really know how they work - engines, TVs, CDs, electricity, air travel, human physiology, microwave ovens, etc. etc.

I mean I've got an idea on all of them, probably enough to reasonably accurately answer questions from an inquisitive five year old.  Despite this, if I went back in time, I wouldn't be able to make myself famous as the bloke who invented the walkman.  However, I could sell my time wachine for a few quid :o)

I'm also spectacularly ill-informed about British history going back any further than about 1990, other than what I've seen on Blackadder.

Quote from: "zozman"I'm also spectacularly ill-informed about British history going back any further than about 1990

Everything bad is Thatcher's fault.  That's all you need to know really.

dan dirty ape

Why do you only ever see the corpses of birds when they've been killed by another animal or run over? What about the ones that die of old age or other natural causes?

Bogey

Or, more broadly, everything bad in the world today is something to do with us.

Don't bring me into it.

I know it's an old joke, but I genuinely would like to know how the man who drives the snow plough gets to work.  Does he have it in his garage all year around just in case of a blizzard?  And does he have to pay road tax on it, even though it's off the road for most, if not all of the year?

zozman

Quote from: "Partridge's Love Child"
Quote from: "zozman"I'm also spectacularly ill-informed about British history going back any further than about 1990

Everything bad is Thatcher's fault.  That's all you need to know really.

What, everything??  The holocaust?  the Spanish inquisition?  Pit closures on an unprecedented scale resulting in deprived communities to this day ?  

Yeah, right!  You must think I'm daft!


TraceyQ

What about the voice of Geddy Lee? How did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?


TraceyQ

Shut up or I'll sick blue birthday-cake icing all over you.

lazyhour

Then you are TraceyQ's fact-checkin' cuz.

Edit: Bah, too late.

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

Quote from: "lazyhour"
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

because she smells of 'Trill'?

sproggy

Does anybody else see this when they close their eyes?


terminallyrelaxed

Quote from: "sproglette"Does anybody else see this when they close their eyes?


I do now you bastard.

gazzyk1ns

Quote from: "Partridge's Love Child"
I know it's an old joke, but I genuinely would like to know how the man who drives the snow plough gets to work.  Does he have it in his garage all year around just in case of a blizzard?  And does he have to pay road tax on it, even though it's off the road for most, if not all of the year?

Presumably he does have it in his garage, otherwise the whole idea would be seriously flawed... it's the sort of problem which might occur initially but be solved immediately "the hard way". Alternatively, if the guy has to get it from a coucil building somewhere then maybe they'll only employ people who live within walking distance of it.

I hate the other similar question, "Why do kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?" - it's obviously so there's no chance of them receiving a head injury whilst encountering turbulence or the "enemy", and rendering themselves unable to fly  properly before they're anywhere near their target.

Now, someone answer my caliper question, please.

Cerys

Brake calipers on a bike?  A car?  An amphibious landing-craft?  These are things we must know.

wu be eel

how do those trees with deep red/purple/brown leaves work? (i dont mean autumn leaves gone dead.)

what happened to all those green choloroplasts i was taught about in school ?needed for the food equation and all that. it defies science i tells ya. especially because they usually are shaded green underneath, like the suns turned them red on top for some reason. its probably dead simple but i am your simple twat...

free holiday to paris + £200 spending money and a pervert with a camera for anyone with the answer.

El Unicornio, mang

You know when people get given those massive cheques, like at awards and charity events and stuff, how do they give them to the teller at the bank? Surely they're too big to fit through the little slidey hole?


Crazy Penis

Why do we sing hymns and not hers?

Why doesn't a spider accidentally get stuck in it's own web?

Why don't I ever find a car in my bag of crisps? Is it because it won't fucking fit?

Why don't they make food tipp-ex to correct peoples cooking mistakes?

Why can't you have half a hole?

Cerys

Quote from: "Crazy Penis"Why do we sing hymns and not hers?

Because it's 'amen' and not 'awomen'.

QuoteWhy doesn't a spider accidentally get stuck in it's own web?

Because not all the threads are sticky, and the spider knows which is which.

QuoteWhy don't I ever find a car in my bag of crisps? Is it because it won't fucking fit?

Yes.

QuoteWhy don't they make food tipp-ex to correct peoples cooking mistakes?

They do.  It's called custard, cheese sauce, or gravy, depending on what day it is.

QuoteWhy can't you have half a hole?

Because a hole is always whole.  Do you see?


Cerys


Dr David V

Quote from: "Crazy Penis"Why can't you have half a hole?
Surely half of the hole would be what originally filled the hole...


wheatgod

Quote from: "wu be eel"how do those trees with deep red/purple/brown leaves work? (i dont mean autumn leaves gone dead.)
what happened to all those green choloroplasts i was taught about in school ?
chlorophyll is the most common photosynthetic pigment. it absorbs red and blue wavelengths of light, and so appears green
some plants may contain other photosynthetic pigments, which absorb other wavelengths of light, and so appear to the eye as a different colour eg purple

terminallyrelaxed

Quote from: "Crazy Penis"Why can't you have half a hole?

You can, but then it would be a scoop, a dip or a gouge...

terminallyrelaxed

Quote from: "gazzyk1ns"I hate the other similar question, "Why do kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?" - it's obviously so there's no chance of them receiving a head injury whilst encountering turbulence or the "enemy", and rendering themselves unable to fly  properly before they're anywhere near their target.

That and the radio earphones being built into the helmet....

Santa's Boyfriend


Crazy Penis

Quote from: "terminallyrelaxed"
Quote from: "gazzyk1ns"I hate the other similar question, "Why do kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?" - it's obviously so there's no chance of them receiving a head injury whilst encountering turbulence or the "enemy", and rendering themselves unable to fly  properly before they're anywhere near their target.

That and the radio earphones being built into the helmet....

Suely that wouldn't have been the right time for them to be listening to the radio, what with all that commotion going on and everything. No wonder they all crashed.