Movies without romance

[yesitis]

After a recent horrible break-up (well, not that recent, but I can't get over it) I can't help but notice that romantic themes are shoehorned into damn well near every single fucking film ever made. And every sex scene, every happy couple, every unhappy couple, every stolen glance, sends me into floods of tears. So I'm looking for films where the very thought of romance (and even strong lasting friendships) is entirely absent.

The only film I can think of that fits the bill is The Thing but I've seen that so damn many times that I can't just rely on that. Searching online for "post break-up films" and the like I've seen people mention lots of war movies but even the camaraderie among soldiers gets to me.

What I want are films where no character speaks to or looks at another character in any way that could be construed as loving or caring, films that take place in a world where love, friendship and sex just do not exist. I'm particularly interested in any comedies that could fit this description.

Any suggestions? Thanks.

[Small Man Big Horse]

2001 and A Clockwork Orange spring immediately to mind. And Dr Strangelove. Infact you're mostly safe with Kubrick (discounting Lolita and Eyes Wide Shut, obviously).

Oh, and Saw. And Lilya 4-Ever. And the first half of Irreversible should suit your mood right now.

[Harpo Speaks]

Not easy given the criteria you've set out.

I was going to suggest 127 Hours and Buried (solitary man trapped alone, surely a winner?), but thinking about it these both involve wives/girlfriends at some point, however briefly.

So I've gone with 12 Angry Men - twelve strangers in a room arguing with eachother, and one of the greatest films ever made.

[Goldentony]

They Live
Robocop
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Death Wish 3
Marathon Man
Deliverance

Someone recommended Midnight Cowboy to me after a break up, but I didn't have it available to me. Might work!

[chocky909]

Robocop has romantic scenes, mainly the ones where Murphy remembers his wife but also there was some chemistry between him and Lewis.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Someone recommended Midnight Cowboy to me after a break up, but I didn't have it available to me. Might work!

Ah, but that's an extremely moving film about male platonic friendship, so almost certainly in breach of yesitis' criteria.

Midnight Express, on the other hand. Actually, the protagonist's girlfriend turns up in that at one point, precipitating one of the bleakest "romantic" scenes I've ever seen in my life, so that's probably best avoided too.

What about Scum? There isn't a shred of warmth or happiness in the entire film. And CaB favourite Threads, of course.

As for comedies, there is nothing remotely sentimental about In The Loop.

[madhair60]

Love Story

[Blumf]

War == no room for women.

Apocalypse Now
Kelly's Heroes
Patton
Tora! Tora! Tora!

Also I second Goldentony's Death Wish 3 suggestion; whether it's a first date or a tragic breakup, DW3 is the movie to see. The greatest movie ever made.

[BlodwynPig]

Deliverance?! That has one of the most tender love scenes in cinematic history, you dolt.

How about Blair Witch, Ichii, Gozu

[madhair60]

Love, Actually

[Obel]

The entire Saw series.

[gmoney]

Cube

[Goldentony]

Robocop has romantic scenes, mainly the ones where Murphy remembers his wife but also there was some chemistry between him and Lewis.

Nah come on, all the romantic bits go to absolute shit. Robocop kicks his telly in, he doesn't have it off with Lewis, the bitches leave. All that.

[El Unicornio, mang]

What about Scum? There isn't a shred of warmth or happiness in the entire film.

Greenhouse scene?

Reservoir Dogs
Dead Man's Shoes
Predator
Glengarry Glen Ross

[Stone Cold Jane Austen]

Escape To Victory

The Hill

Man Bites Dog (The only comedy I could think of)

Silent Running

[Harpo Speaks]

As for comedies, there is nothing remotely sentimental about In The Loop.

Unfortunately it features a couple breaking up, which is probably not ideal.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Greenhouse scene?

One of the most tender love scenes ever filmed, you're right.

Your other choices all fit the bill nicely too. I hope you're taking this down, yesitis.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Unfortunately it features a couple breaking up, which is probably not ideal.

Ah yes, so it does. In that case, what I meant to say was, "Give In the Loop a wide berth, whatever you do."

[Old Nehamkin]

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Fargo
No Country for Old Men
From Dusk till Dawn
Bad Santa
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Blazing Saddles
There Will be Blood

[Goldentony]

Fargo

Nah you've got Norm & Marge in a loving relationship there.

The Hitcher

[chocky909]

There Will be Blood

I'm sure there was a little juvenile romance between the young boy and one of the girls.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I'd also recommend watching documentaries on really bleak subjects such as the holocaust, 9/11, drug addiction and people whose skin falls off. Tends to put romantic problems into perspective.

[Subtle Mocking]

Lawrence of Arabia doesn't have any female speaking roles whatsoever. Other than that, the Jackass series is another one that definitely doesn't have any. It's annoying because so many movies have vague connections to romance without actually involving it.

[Nobody Soup]

jurassic park was quite good for that, one film in which a female and male lead were allowed to care for each other as friends without falling in love amongst the disasterous circumstances.

[Treguard of Dunshelm]

Beverly Hills Cop also, iirc?

[Cohaagen]

Also I second Goldentony's Death Wish 3 suggestion; whether it's a first date or a tragic breakup, DW3 is the movie to see. The greatest movie ever made.

Put me down as the third to formally endorse Death Wish 3. There are countless reasons why you should treat yourself to what is indeed the greatest movie of all time, but a number of them are detailed in my review here:

http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=24765.msg1315402#msg1315402

Note that everyone in that thread who watched DW3 ended up loving it, and if you're not planning a droopy moustache or an appointment for a reverse-mohawk with lipstick gang symbol by the beginning of the awesome third act then your money back. If you need another recommendation, Commando would be mine. The only love involved is for brutal, cartoonish violence dealt out by Austrian musclegods and that declared by Colonel Matrix for his adorable Chenny.

Incidentally, on the subject of Robocop, I don't think Robo even has a dick and balls, just a ™ symbol and an Orion Pictures logo.

[Consignia]

Just going by the last film I saw, the Troll Hunter doesn't have any romance in it. It does have quite a few trolls though.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

the Troll Hunter doesn't have any romance in it. It does have quite a few trolls though.

Much like this board.

BOOF!!!

[CaledonianGonzo]

Is there a romantic interest in First Blood?

Don't think there is.

Nor in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

[Blumf]

Incidentally, on the subject of Robocop, I don't think Robo even has a dick and balls