Topic: Viz Highlights

[Theremin]

I recently started reading Viz again, and was very plesantly surprised. I'd forgotten how great most of it is.

Think of this as the Viz equivalent of that '1000 Simpsons Moments' thread.

I'll start:

1) Ads for Teachers from Issue 202.



2) Stephen Fry's Face from the same issue.



I just really like that because of the way his face bulges to the right, then wildly to the left, then back again.

[Don_Preston]

I can't find it but in the Big Pink Stiff One (so we're going back a bit) there's a photo story around a Morrissey-a-like called Morris E. Smith, who's too shy to ask out the girl he likes. His dad appeared in a couple of panels as a jumper clad man with a huge unconvincing beard.

Edit - Aha!

[Serge]

4.) My favourite moment from a Viz photo strip is at the end of a story in which a woman goes to America (I think) and gets a lift from a mysterious bequiffed stranger, whose identity is revealed in the penultimate frame when she gasps, "James Dean!" at the smiling face of someone who blatantly and deliberately looks nothing like James Dean.

5.)"Biffa son, go an' fetch us wor hammer."
    "OK fatha." (Fetches hammer. Fatha smacks him in the face with it.)
    "Cheers son, purrit back."

[Don_Preston]

Ah I remember the James Dean one!

Another one (the photo stories were always my favourite) was a woman who daydreamed meeting the love of her life, only to meet him in real life. After calling his name he gets "WHACKED!" unconvincingly by a car, and in the next frame the driver peers out, fag in mouth and says "Sorry mate, didn't see him there."

[Theremin]

5.)"Biffa son, go an' fetch us wor hammer."

One of my favourite things about the comic is the fact that they do go to the trouble of using little bits of regional slang like that, even if it means leaving bits of the audience behind.

[Old Nehamkin]

Ah I remember the James Dean one!

Another one (the photo stories were always my favourite) was a woman who daydreamed meeting the love of her life, only to meet him in real life. After calling his name he gets "WHACKED!" unconvincingly by a car, and in the next frame the driver peers out, fag in mouth and says "Sorry mate, didn't see him there."

I think this was a running joke, I remember another one about a man who could only express himself through interpretive dance ending with him failing to warn his girlfriend before she got hit by a car with the exact same photo/ line used for the driver.

[hummingofevil]

Sorry for paraphrasing / ruining the joke but this from the letters page.

"Roy Castle said 'dedication is what you need to be a record breaker'; the dead lying bastard. I need a high-powered motorbike, 14 double-decker buses and a disused airfield.

Yours,

Mr E. Knievel, U.S.A."

[Harry Badger]

7. "Ha ha! Go for it Dad!" from the Phantom of Fairpools nearly killed me when it first came out.

You could probably do a whole thread just on Davy Jones' (not the dead Monkee) contributions.

I think this was a running joke, I remember another one about a man who could only express himself trough interpretive dance ending with him failing to warn his girlfriend before she got hit by a car with the exact same photo/ line used for the driver.

If I remember rightly, it was spelled "darnce" all the way through, something I also like to do when corresponding with a dancer friend of mine.

[Catalogue Trousers]

From the very first Spoilt Bastard strip:

"Here you are, dear - I've checked your fish fingers for grey bits!"

Followed by that two-panel "Timmy reacts in frozen shock/Timmy violently brings up his dinner" combo. I particularly love the look of total surprise on his face in the latter.

[ajsmith]

I think this was a running joke, I remember another one about a man who could only express himself through interpretive dance ending with him failing to warn his girlfriend before she got hit by a car with the exact same photo/ line used for the driver.

Not only that, but it's always the same guy playing the driver.

[CaledonianGonzo]

Lupin Pooter's horror on discovering that his daughter is a 'practicing sinistrist'.

And, I suppose, the reveal that Victorian Dad's name is Lupin Pooter.

[Absorb the anus burn]

Aged fourteen, I was thrown out of a geography class thanks to a Viz letter that I couldn't stop laughing at.

I've no idea of the edition but was somebody complaining about ex Professionals Martin Shaw ("that permed twat") and Lewis Collins ("a roll necked cunt") driving about his village in their flash open top fast cars.... It was the last line that finished me: "all we need is that dead cunt from the Fine Fare adverts to turn up and we'll have the whole fucking set..."

[madhair60]

"Go on, fuck off out of it, you blasted queen!"

[Pete23]

"Can Jellyhead get the sweets?"

[CaledonianGonzo]

Mr Logic attempts to negotiate sexual favours from a prostitute.

[xxxx xxx x xxx]

The news story about the guy who used to play Mr T going mad and tearing off Paul McCartney's testicles to make a seventies' children's toy.  Headline - "Baraccas Goes Crackers And Makes Clackers Out Of Macca's Knackers.

And Millie Tant turning out to be called Millicent Buckridge-Tant.

[Ignatius_S]

One entry in the ‘101 things you didn’t know about the Queen Mother’ that said something that isn’t well known was her romantic involvement with Harpo Marx. However, the relationship was ended because after they attended royal funeral, where Harpo went round honking a horn, cutting people’s ties off and tied climbing into the coffin.

Zip O'Lightning was a one-off strip that I know has other admirers here – basically, a boy obsessed with aliens is tricked into thinking he’s got a pal from beyond the stars, when it's just a man with a bucket over his head. Towards the end, they go to a pub and the boy is handed a bottle by his new chum, told it’s a raygun and that a large, thuggish man is in fact a wanted intergalactic villain, Captain Fuckflaps – he goes over brandishing the bottle, saying “Alright Fuckflaps, I’m taking you in.” The combination of the line and the man’s look always gives me the giggles.

"Go on, fuck off out of it, you blasted queen!"

*tips hat*

[another Mr. Lizard]

Regular Viz reader, I've stuck with it through thick and thin. The introduction of the 'defacement' competition has been a high-point in the past couple of years, although I wish they'd print the winning entries so they are large enough to see properly.

My very favourite item was a news piece they once ran on schools who had begun refusing to teach the eight-times-table. Very subtly done, didn't bring attention to itself, but was devastating in its attack on anti-Darwinists.

Another one-off strip that I admired (although if memory serves, it was a spin-off from 'Sid the Sexist') was 'Big Fuckin' Dave', all about a Geordie bruiser and his spindly hanger-on of a mate, out boozing every night  - should anyone in the pub happen to use the word "half" in everyday conversation, Dave took great offence and glassed them...

[dr_christian_troy]

20) Desperately Unfunny Dan.

21) This is more of a vague memory, but I have a vision of a Viz strip in which Jeremy Clarkson says 'I'm going to FUCK this car...up the ARSE.'

[Consignia]

I'm sure I've said it before, but I love the Terry Fuckwit strip which is all about perspective.

[Ignatius_S]

…21) This is more of a vague memory, but I have a vision of a Viz strip in which Jeremy Clarkson says 'I'm going to FUCK this car...up the ARSE.'

From a Roger Mellie strip where he’s guest presenting on Top Gear, but to everyone’s relief, Clarkson returns. For those who haven’t read this one, let me paint a picture, where in the last panel has Clarkson vigorously fucking the car whilst Tom and the production staff saying what a broadcasting genius he is and how much they love his ironic humour.

[Steve Williams]

"Roy Castle said 'dedication is what you need to be a record breaker'; the dead lying bastard. I need a high-powered motorbike, 14 double-decker buses and a disused airfield.

"I think that, if Gyles Brandreth were to have a sex change and the late Roy Castle were to rise from the grave and have unprotected sex with him, the resultant lovechild would look not unlike the singer songwriter Ray Stevens. Do other readers agree?"

[CaledonianGonzo]

Garry Bushell the Bear

[Gradual Decline]

[Blumf]

26) Norman's Knob

(paraphrase) "I've be been rubbing it too much and It's not as magic as it used to be"

[holyzombiejesus]

27.

I was as glad as anyone to see Nelson Mandella released from prison. But don't you think he looks like one of those PG Tips monkeys?

28. A news report about how Jimmy Nail was scared of Frankensteins.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

29) (paraphrasing) Letter to Viz

"I was surprised to hear that The Queen receives two parcels of excrement a month.  What I want to know is, who's sending the other one?"

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

30) Barry The Cat - fat schoolboy dresses up in a black cat costume to fight crime.  Gets beaten to fuck by some petty criminals.

[Inaniloquent]

While I can only recall a couple of specifics - I believe treating a yeast infection with a Muller crunch corner featured - sneaking my Dad's Viz when I was 12 or 13 or so, reading Tasha Slappa for the first time was a revelation. The sheer joy of seeing the girls in school who made my days hell were little more than orange-faced scraped-hair sportswear-clad clichés was a lovely moment. Their power over me diminished the more I reminded myself they were so common and mockable. I'd just think of Tasha and her crunchy bits, or her boyfriend with his multi-used holy condom, or her wobbly sludge of face makeup only ever on the front of her face.

[madhair60]

33. "Raped?  Burgled?  Run over?  WHY NOT CALL THE POLICE"

Complete with gurning bobby.  Cried laughing at that.

34. Gollywog Stairlift, complete with "NOT RACIST" caption.