Euro 2012

[Subtle Mocking]

Goalkeepers:

Joe Hart
Rob Green
John Ruddy

Defenders:

John Terry
Ashley Cole
Gary Cahill
Joleon Lescott
Glen Johnson
Leighton Baines
Phil Jones

Midfielders:

Scott Parker
Steven Gerrard
Frank Lampard
Theo Walcott
Gareth Barry
Ashley Young
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
James Milner
Stewart Downing

Forwards:

Wayne Rooney
Andy Carroll
Danny Welbeck
Jermain Defoe

[phes]

theo walcott should be able to offer AOC some golden advice

Stuart Downing. Haahahaha. WHAT. Why am i laughing.

[Subtle Mocking]

Standby players:

Jack Butland (GK)
Phil Jagielka
Jordan Henderson
Adam Johnson
Daniel Sturridge

(source: ITV)

[Beagle 2]

Downing?

Downing?

Stuart Downing?

What?

[Subtle Mocking]

No Aaron Lennon anywhere either. Is that good? I guess Walcott or Young are slightly better in that position.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Just because Downing got no goals or assists doesn't mean he wasn't a vital compontent of Liverpool's season. Liverpool's amazing season.

Terry's inclusion is depressing. Ferdinand is a superior player and comes with less baggage.

[Beagle 2]

I dunno, Rio's been all over the fucking shop in some of the games I've watched this year. I'd rather have Terry any day of the week. Well, I'd rather have Terry's genitals removed with a power-sander, but y'know.

[Subtle Mocking]

Yeah I'll happily admit that Rio hasn't been at his best this season. Terry though, after all that? After all the suspensions and whatnot?

[Beagle 2]

My mate Big Chris is left footed. He's shit at football and a physics teacher in his thirties, so he really should have been given the nod ahead of Downing.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It doesn't really matter anyway- this is the last tournament for the poisonous collection of bloated Club First Country Second players. Let them once again re-live their diminished returns.

For what it's worth- we need a goalscorer that can take one chance and steal a game where we haven't played well (I expect this to be All The Games We Play in this tournament). For this reason I would still pick Michael Owen. He is 'fit' isn't he?

[Subtle Mocking]

Still, at least Heskey's name isn't on there. Or Crouch's.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The fact Jordan Henderson is on standby is literally amazing. I think the FA has actually turned into a sophisticated internet troll.

[Slaaaaabs]

Carroll has been picked because his "form" has included two games where John Terry has been utterly atrocious.

Nice to see "No Carrick" is trending worldwide on Twitter, about as much credit as he is likely to get even though he has been fantastic all season.

[ziggy starbucks]

I'm supporting Ukraine in this tournament for the following reasons

1) Their women are very sexy
2) John Terry doesn't play for them
3) They could do with a boost after all the suffering of the soviet terror famine, the Nazi einsatzgruppen and generally for being bullied by Russia for 300 years
4) John Terry doesn't play for them

[Subtle Mocking]

'Hodgson Out' is trending already. What did people expect?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

3) They could do with a boost after all the suffering of the soviet terror famine, the Nazi einsatzgruppen and generally for being bullied by Russia for 300 years

Phoned them and they said they're alright but cheers for asking mate

[Harpo Speaks]

Or Crouch's.

Better choice than Carroll.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's a worry for Hodsgon that the dreadfully ugly stodgy football he'll be trying to set up is predicated on having several competent but effort-making central midfielders who will track back and close down the ball.

I appear to see Gerrard and Lampard again.

[Squink]

I think this squad is fine. It probably won't win the tournament, but neither would any of the other permutations.  Funny how the narrative has swung from: "Hodgson should kick out the old guard" to "what is he doing not including Rio Ferdinand and Michael Carrick?" They've had plenty of chances.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I think this squad is fine. It probably won't win the tournament, but neither would any of the other permutations.  Funny how the narrative has swung from: "Hodgson should kick out the old guard" to "what is he doing not including Rio Ferdinand and Michael Carrick?" They've had plenty of chances.

Oh but remember Michael Carrick was a substitute in those games where he was anonymous and crap for 30 minutes instead of 90.

[kngen]

So Andy Carrol gets a nod, despite showing the sort of form that will lead future generations to think that in 2011/12 he changed his name to 'Oh for Christ's sake, not Andy fucking Carroll!' - yet the player that outscored him when they were both in the Championship, then went on to win the golden boot in Scotland and score five in the final game of the season doesn't even get a sniff. So much for looking beyond the EPL, Roy ...

[Squink]

I appear to see Gerrard and Lampard again.

I understand the frustration with Lampard. Personally I can't stand the guy. But he's about to captain a team in the Champions League final. It's hard to imagine any other European teams leaving out a player in a similar position.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Gary Hooper could probably score a hundred thousand goals in the SPL in one season, 876,402 of them being bicycle kicks, 39,492 from diving headers where the dive started at the halfway line, 13,592 from backheels, 3,405 from half-volleys while stamping out stray balloons with his other foot, 1,031 by lying flat on the ground, masturbating until achieving erection and then tapping the ball over the line with his erect todger and 492 being off his arse, off his arse on crack while reading the Beano and never play for England.

[ziggy starbucks]

Phoned them and they said they're alright but cheers for asking mate

they were just being brave on the phone

the Ukrainians are like that. A brave, stoic, sexy people whose vast arable land and diverse architecture conceals the bloody crimes of all of Europe, the muddied ploughs dragging up the bones of starved peasants, murdered Jews, mutilated nationalists and the withered remains of those that held of the flame of Ukrainian culture and language against the outrages of royal autocracy, the mad monks of Bolshevism and Hitler's monstrous lebensraum.

and John Terry isn't in their squad

[Beagle 2]

It's a worry for Hodsgon that the dreadfully ugly stodgy football he'll be trying to set up is predicated on having several competent but effort-making central midfielders who will track back and close down the ball.

Well, kinda. It's a very attacking set of midfielders really. I can see a possible line up that might play both Barry and Parker, and if one of them gets injured or suspended....

[kngen]

Gary Hooper could probably score a hundred thousand goals in the SPL in one season, 876,402 of them being bicycle kicks, 39,492 from diving headers where the dive started at the halfway line, 13,592 from backheels, 3,405 from half-volleys while stamping out stray balloons with his other foot, 1,031 by lying flat on the ground, masturbating until achieving erection and then tapping the ball over the line with his erect todger and 492 being off his arse, off his arse on crack while reading the Beano and never play for England.

Very true - but the attendances would go through the roof!

[Lord Mandrake]

Is it true that Arteta is eligible?

[phes]

It doesn't really matter anyway- this is the last tournament for the poisonous collection of bloated Club First Country Second players. Let them once again re-live their diminished returns.

For what it's worth- we need a goalscorer that can take one chance and steal a game where we haven't played well (I expect this to be All The Games We Play in this tournament). For this reason I would still pick Michael Owen. He is 'fit' isn't he?

One word

KevinBloodyPhillips

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I really don't see how Peter Crouch who has 22 England goals from 42 appearances warrants playing games for England in the footy. Yes he's only 17th on the list in all of our football history which is quite bad.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

England manager Roy Hodgson on Rio Ferdinand's omission from the Euro 2012 squad: "It's a football decision. He's only played for England once in the last year. It was a hard phone call to make.but it'sbased on football - nothing else."

Yes of course it was, hope you're enjoying the bullshit you're now obliged to speak, darling.