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March 29, 2024, 02:07:41 AM

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You know your life has really hit the skids when...

Started by Frinky, February 09, 2004, 02:13:08 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Frinky

...You mess up making scrambled eggs twice in one day, and subsequentley go without lunch.

...You do a google search for your own name and it returns a headstone - in your name.

What about you? Cheap, easy group thread, lets bring the love back.

Krang

You have to get up at 8am to go to college, only to sit on the same computer since 9am and use the net, avoiding lessons and coursework (which has to be finished in 3 days)

arse!

edit:

And you have a Jammy Wagonwheel for breakfast.

Frinky

Quote from: "Krang"And you have a Jammy Wagonwheel for breakfast.

How is that bad? I could live that life...

twatloops

..you realise you've had so little work for the last few days you've posted more replies in this forum since Saturday than you did for the whole of last year.

Krang

Its all ive eaten so far today... so its not that great. Id much rather have a bacon sandwhich, or a bowl of top notch cereal.

butnut

Quote from: "Krang"Its all ive eaten so far today... so its not that great. Id much rather have a bacon sandwhich, or a bowl of top notch cereal.

Maybe that's why you're not doing so much work. Don't they sayy having a big breakfast makes you work better?

Mr Crippen

When the number of ridiculous emails fowarded (Fwd: Fwd!: FWD!!!:) to you exceeds 10 per day, and you've had half of them before, and you despise them all with every fibre of your being.

When you start to really get cross about having to contribute 50-measly-pence a month to the office washing-up fund.  Because it clearly isn't costing that!  Where's all the money going??  WHO'S EMBEZZLING THAT £2.73???!!!
(Luckily this has not yet troubled me, but it clearly leaves some of my colleagues sleepless, as it was discussed for 15 whole minutes at the last general meeting.  In the name of fairness it was decided it should be considered that the of the amount of washing up liquid used monthy should be divided between all those in the office (except for those who can legitimately say they don't use the liquid).  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!)

Crippen

Pilf

When you were awake until 5am from insomnia and then you have to get up at 7am to go to work and yet you know you won't actually get anything productive done all day as you'll be half asleep.

When a CD you got out of the library and were looking forward to listening to has had someone spill and smear all sorts of crap over it and it refuses to play.

smoker

when you realize that "wanker's cramp" is here to stay

Speciality meat product

...when the house 3 doors down from you gets hit by lightening, and causes the alarm to sound constantly for the next 36 hours, rendering any efforts to get to sleep pointless.

yaaaaaaawwwnn

Purple Tentacle

When you worry that your workmates think that you're taking more than your fair share of water from the cooler.

When you actually look forward to reading Nemi in Metro just so you can be angry at it, which gives you pleasure. (I'm sorry to harp on and on about this, but it's a daily irritant.)

butnut

When you get really upset about how few crisps they put in mulipack packets of Walker's Salt and Vinegar flavour - they could make the packets have the size and you'd still get the same number of crisps in forfuckssake.

TraceyQ

But crisp packets need to be that size or they're no good for  this

edit: Please, no comments about salt and vinegar strokes.

Still Not George

Even with smileys, there is no way to describe the very idea of doing that with a packet of salt 'n' vinegar.
*winces*

Some things just need to be kept away from one's genitals.

-edit : damn.

butnut

Quote from: "TraceyQ"But crisp packets need to be that size or they're no good for  this

Ahhggg! Salty knob alert!

Fuck, imagine if they used spicy Doritos.

smoker

i know when i were a teenager on the estates i gave thanks to the man who invented pringles

Borboski

Quote from: "Purple Tentacle"When you worry that your workmates think that you're taking more than your fair share of water from the cooler.

When you actually look forward to reading Nemi in Metro just so you can be angry at it, which gives you pleasure. (I'm sorry to harp on and on about this, but it's a daily irritant.)

I save it up right to the end of the bus ride. And then a leap off and kick the nearing person I find into the canal.

Krang


TraceyQ

Quote from: "butnut"
Quote from: "TraceyQ"But crisp packets need to be that size or they're no good for  this

Ahhggg! Salty knob alert!

Fuck, imagine if they used spicy Doritos.

Jizz and onion?

butnut


Krang

Quote from: "TraceyQ"
Quote from: "butnut"
Quote from: "TraceyQ"But crisp packets need to be that size or they're no good for  this

Ahhggg! Salty knob alert!

Fuck, imagine if they used spicy Doritos.

Jizz and onion?

Oh cum on....

Evil Knevil

Your dinner consisted of a large baking potato boiled in a kettle.

You start talking to the Bronze bust of Lenin on top of your PC.

You pick through your ancient ashtrays scavenging tiny tiny butts to smoke. Even the ones with scorch marks in the filter were viable. Just a careful placing of the fingers, like a flute.

All of this happened to me about the time I left Uni and couldn't find a job, but was stuck with a ball-bouncingly high rent. The gas was disconnected and the leccy was threatened. Hence my potato -kettle japes.

Still Not George

Quote from: "Krang"Oh cum on....



Do you hear that sound, Mr Anderson? That is the sound... of inevitability.

Mr Flunchy

You get inordinately paranoid about what people think of you on an internet forum.

Bilko

Quote from: "Krang"
Quote from: "TraceyQ"
Quote from: "butnut"
Quote from: "TraceyQ"But crisp packets need to be that size or they're no good for  this

Ahhggg! Salty knob alert!

Fuck, imagine if they used spicy Doritos.

Jizz and onion?

Oh cum on....

Porn Cocktail



Start watching Last of the Summer Wine, and contemplate the comic genius of cloth caps.

Note: I have not started to do this. Yet

Lt Plonker

When the highlight of your day is finding a lost Garfield sock in the drying room. Oh happy days.

Ambient Sheep

...when you're Mundays Chylde and you go to a Verbwhores meet... ;-)

imitationleather

Quote from: "Purple Tentacle"When you actually look forward to reading Nemi in Metro just so you can be angry at it, which gives you pleasure. (I'm sorry to harp on and on about this, but it's a daily irritant.)

God, me too. Are you sure we're not related Purple Tentacle? No one else can understand why I read Nemi since I hate it so much, which pretty much shows that they don't know me at all. Everything that I do is done just because I hate it.