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The best shit films.

Started by monkfromhavana, October 29, 2012, 08:34:29 PM

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monkfromhavana

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on February 12, 2013, 07:03:23 PM
Oh, and Patrick Swayze's brother is in it.

You can't beat a film that has the brother of a famous actor in one of the leading roles. Neil Connery being the godfather of this particular errr thing.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

Quote from: monkfromhavana on January 13, 2013, 12:58:40 AM
Anyway, that was just the false-memory, his real name was Hauser.
Or was it?

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: monkfromhavana on February 12, 2013, 07:16:12 PM
You can't beat a film that has the brother of a famous actor in one of the leading roles. Neil Connery being the godfather of this particular errr thing.
Is that "Operation Double 007"?

monkfromhavana

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on February 13, 2013, 08:16:32 AM
Is that "Operation Double 007"?

Yeah, something like that. Sean's son Jason had a pop at the ole acting thing too.

Cohaagen

I am pretty sure there's a movie that stars Don Swayze, Frank Stallone, Joe Estevez and perhaps one of the lesser Arquettes. Maybe I just imagined it. I hope not.

Digital Man is great. You can't go wrong with a B-team pairing like Paul Gleason and Ed Lauter. Adam Baldwin, the False Baldwin, features too. I also recommend the unrelated "" Man films Circuitry Man, Circuitry Man II: Plughead Rewired, and Hologram Man. This is what the baddie in Hologram Man looks like:



There should be a stickied thread dedicated solely to the output of movie magic colossi PM Entertainment, Cannon, and the mighty Golan-Globus.

Kishi the Bad Lampshade

You might have seen this, but I have become utterly beguiled by this trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uROQ9nplxIY

Apparently the film, starring a number of reasonably famous people, was set for a 2003 release date but is just now coming out on Video on Demand as the company making it went bust. Astonishing, so many questions:


  • According to the Wikipedia page the city is supposed to be a grocery store, but it doesn't give any indication in the trailer of that?
  • A horrifying human girl with drawn-on-whiskers and cat ears who punches people? And some of the characters are animals, some are people, and some are monsters? What kind of world is this?
  • 'Cinnamon Sleuth'?
  • So many lines that are either badly cut together or just don't sound like anything a human might write
  • The animation. Just....
  • IT'S OUR WORLD
  • "A battle between our most beloved brands and the forces of darkness"
  • A toy plane grazes a big stone statute, the statue topples. PHYSICS
  • "The secret's inside". Is that a thing? Are we supposed to get that? I Googled it to see if it was some sort of US-based reference but it doesn't appear to be
  • I have watched this about fifteen times now

Nobody Soup

Quote from: monkfromhavana on January 13, 2013, 12:58:40 AM
I think i'd rather have John Matrix start a reactor than Doug Quaid. Anyway, that was just the false-memory, his real name was Hauser.

I always thought the whole film was the false memory, "save the planet, get the girl..." everything went as Recall said it would.

#187
Quote from: Kishi the Bad Lampshade on February 13, 2013, 03:42:43 PM
  • "A battle between our most beloved brands and the forces of darkness"

That bit made me think it was going to be stuffed to the gills with product placement, little more than a long, unsubtle series of adverts. I couldn't see any logos in that trailer though. Maybe "The secret's inside" is the slogan for some American confectionery product with a gooey filling.

Edit: I noticed that one of the characters has "Twinkie the Kid" written on his hat. I googled it and found that he's the mascot for "cream-filled snack cakes": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie_the_Kid

So it probably is just a series of ads. For American things you can't buy here.

Second edit: I have read the wiki page for the film and feel a bit stupid, what with it being marred by controversy for all the ads since day one.

spock rogers

Quote from: Cohaagen on February 13, 2013, 02:20:48 PMThis is what the baddie in Hologram Man looks like:



So that's what Peter Kay got up to before That Peter Kay Thing.

Foodfight! looks brilliant but I'm not sure I could endure the whole thing.

Has anyone in this thread mentioned either of the Larry Cohen films from the early half of the 80's The Stuff and Q: The Winged Serpent. From these two films which I watched on two consecutive nights, I'm reminded of Roger Corman's films of the 50's and 60's. Low budget with use-whatever-comes-to-hand style special effects, bizarre dialogue and at least in the case of The Stuff, a flimsily delivered message. But they're both great fun, so watch them. You dip.

Famous Mortimer

Samurai Cop
The Red Letter Media boys did a review of this, and the no-fucking-idea-why-he's-liked Joe Bob Briggs has done a commentary for it, but just find it, hook yourself up with some intravenous vodka and have a good time.

I'm trying to think of a way to do it justice, but one of the lines from the RLM review does it perfectly. It's like the outtakes from 10 years of a piss-poor detective TV series, spliced together to try and make some sort of narrative. It's incompetent on just about every level imaginable.

monkfromhavana

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on February 13, 2013, 06:20:02 PM
Samurai Cop
The Red Letter Media boys did a review of this, and the no-fucking-idea-why-he's-liked Joe Bob Briggs has done a commentary for it, but just find it, hook yourself up with some intravenous vodka and have a good time.

I'm trying to think of a way to do it justice, but one of the lines from the RLM review does it perfectly. It's like the outtakes from 10 years of a piss-poor detective TV series, spliced together to try and make some sort of narrative. It's incompetent on just about every level imaginable.

That sounds really good. I might have to get on the torrents.

remedial_gash

Quote from: clingfilm
Has anyone in this thread mentioned either of the Larry Cohen films from the early half of the 80's The Stuff and Q: The Winged Serpent. From these two films which I watched on two consecutive nights, I'm reminded of Roger Corman's films of the 50's and 60's. Low budget with use-whatever-comes-to-hand style special effects, bizarre dialogue and at least in the case of The Stuff, a flimsily delivered message. But they're both great fun, so watch them. You dip.

Larry Cohen is brilliant, from 'Bone' to his proper blaxploitation period with 'Hell up in Harlem' and 'Black Caesar', to 'the Ambulance' and the Maniac Cop series - I adore Mr Cohen.

My personal favourite is ' God told me to' ; which is a bonkers  sniper/serial killer/weird film with Richard Lynch turning into  a Devil or an Angel at the end... and all under 95 minutes.

Most of the films in this thread aren't truly shit, many of the them are far from shit, it just seems like a thread for some pointless cunts to defame really fucking enjoyable films, that are not considered 'important' or 'lasts 3 fucking hours' enough to be considered good by their cock-less peers.

Power to the split second motherfuckers... etc.

Gash
x




Funcrusher

The Stuff and Q The Winged Serpent have no place in a thread about shit films.

remedial_gash

Quote from: Funcrusher on February 13, 2013, 09:33:41 PM
The Stuff and Q The Winged Serpent have no place in a thread about shit films.

Q is one of the few that I might consider a bit... not great great, but very few in this thread are shit.

The Stuff is brilliant, not quite as good as 'street trash', but certainly more family friendly, a wonderful parable about the uncertainty of the modern food chain, and it has the peerless Michael Moriarty, what's not to love?

Gash
x

remedial_gash

Turns out that Michael Moriarty is an asshole nut job, but his art is pretty good.

Gash
x

Phil_A

Quote from: Cohaagen on February 13, 2013, 02:20:48 PM
I am pretty sure there's a movie that stars Don Swayze, Frank Stallone, Joe Estevez and perhaps one of the lesser Arquettes. Maybe I just imagined it. I hope not.

Digital Man is great. You can't go wrong with a B-team pairing like Paul Gleason and Ed Lauter. Adam Baldwin, the False Baldwin, features too. I also recommend the unrelated "" Man films Circuitry Man, Circuitry Man II: Plughead Rewired, and Hologram Man.

Circuitry Man! I think I have that on one of those Hollywood DVD 4-in-one compilations. Man, I used to buy so many of those but had to stop in the end, as I was just getting overwhelmed by crap.

My favourite "shit" film are the ones where the distributor has has retitled some unsellable film in order to cash in on a popular franchise of the moment. Classics of this genre include:

IRON HERO (aka METAL MAN)
THE BLACK KNIGHT RETURNS
PARANORMAL ASCENDANCY (aka 3 A.M.)

Fuck, apparently Hollywood DVD went under in 2008! I wondered why you didn't see those around any more. If nothing else, I'm grateful to those shady bastards for introducing Godfrey Ho's ninja films into my life.

Famous Mortimer

Godfrey Ho! I watched "9 Deaths of the Ninja" a while back, and it was magnificently poo, and a fine candidate for this thread.

Swoz_MK

Quote from: Phil_A on February 14, 2013, 12:48:30 AM

Fuck, apparently Hollywood DVD went under in 2008! I wondered why you didn't see those around any more. If nothing else, I'm grateful to those shady bastards for introducing Godfrey Ho's ninja films into my life.

Phew, thank CHRIST I bought multiple back-up copies of Shark Attack 3 when I did.