6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person

[23 Daves]

A friend of mine just left this link on my Facebook feed and I thought I'd reproduce it here because - well - it's nearly Christmas and I thought it would either inspire you all or simply inspire you to write steaming great paragraphs of vitriol, making this a win/win situation.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person_p1/

I've got to admit that whilst a lot of what he says is generally true, it is overly simplistic and definitely veering towards the right wing.  Nowhere do disabled or mentally vulnerable people really get a mention, and his one-size-fits-all advice isn't necessarily geared towards them.  Nor does he seem to mention the fact that some people are just naturally more sympathetic than others - having empathy, understanding and realising what motivates other people is actually quite a valuable skill in itself.  If you define that as "niceness" and those are qualities you have, then you're already in the upper 5% of the population in my book (most people think they have these abilities, of course. They usually don't.  This is a bit of a stumbling block).

However, if you drill down to his key final point, there's nothing wrong with what he's saying there at all.  The more challenges you set yourself in life, the better you'll feel, whether they involve exercise, creativity, community work, or your career.  The only thing we have to fear is being awful at our chosen subject to start with, which is the same starting block almost everyone had. 

I absolutely guarantee the "Ha! You critical consumers, you snipers, why don't you make something yourselves?" line will piss CaBbers off, though. Again, it operates on the assumption that online critics don't have other irons in the fire (I'm sure most don't, but it's still a roaring great assumption). 

[biggytitbo]

I think if more people faced the harsh truth that they look ludicrous in skinny jeans we could end this frog legs nonsense that afflicts so many young people these days.

[Danger Man]

Short version of the article:

Grow a pair

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Comparing learning how to do surgery with how to end up in a fulfilling relationship is fucking stupid, as is the macho sneering at neurotic young male mopers who aren't having much luck. It has nothing to do with their neuroses, they're unhappy because their hormone-exploding balls and a society telling people to have SEX SEX SEX lots of SEX SEX SEX is making them concentrate unhealthily on it. They're young men, just let them get on with it like they have been FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME AND COCKS you horrible twats.

Did any of you get just how fucking MALE these 'Life Truths' were? Where is the advice for neurotic women who can't understand why they get little male attention, telling them to fucking WOMAN UP and CLOSE. YEAH FUCKING CLOSE YOU QUIET MOUSEY CUNTS, YOU ANALLY RETENTIVE SHITBAGS OF DOTS AND HAMSTERS AND MHMHMHMHMM DITZY ME ME ME BULLSHIT. 

You don't need a life lesson from a cockend, you just need to be free and be excellent to people.

[Buelligan]

I read a few paragraphs and thought, "this author thinks they're far more entertaining than they are.  What are they doing for me?".  The answer seemed to be "not a lot"[nb]Probably because I'm a quiet, mousey, cunt.[/nb].  So I stopped. 

[El Unicornio, mang]

The pic of Lenny Kravitz wearing a massive scarf is the best bit

[Buelligan]

I quite liked his boots.

[23 Daves]

Did any of you get just how fucking MALE these 'Life Truths' were? Where is the advice for neurotic women who can't understand why they get little male attention, telling them to fucking WOMAN UP and CLOSE. YEAH FUCKING CLOSE YOU QUIET MOUSEY CUNTS, YOU ANALLY RETENTIVE SHITBAGS OF DOTS AND HAMSTERS AND MHMHMHMHMM DITZY ME ME ME BULLSHIT. 

Oddly, it was a woman who posted it on my Facebook feed, suggesting that it had inspired her!  And so far it's two men (me and someone else) suggesting that his arguments are imperfect.

I will happily say that from direct experience, taking up more interesting challenges does fulfil you as a person which in turn builds confidence and makes you feel better about yourself, but it doesn't particularly make you that much more likely to get laid.  Most women I know are more interested in the things they have in common with a potential partner and how empathetic and grounded the man is, not whether he's just got himself a part in Agatha Christie's "The Mousetrap".  The latter is a talking point and may generate some initial interest, but if you come across like a self-absorbed tool you're usually straight back to square one again (unless you're really bloody successful).

[ziggy starbucks]

Most women I know are more interested in the things they have in common with a potential partner and how empathetic and grounded the man is, not whether he's just got himself a part in Agatha Christie's "The Mousetrap".

now you tell me

have all my am dram performances been in vain?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

But women are humans, and men are humans, so any combo of the two can potentially go anywhere and nowhere. Young men who are sexually inexperienced don't need some Tyler Durden pop-psych fuckhead to learn anything, they just need to be given time. There's enough documented historical evidence they've been having quite a lot of trouble finding love for some time. All that shitting poetry.

There's one thing I can't stand and it's supercilious snake-oil lifestyle cunts pretending their opinions are revolutionary, and ignoring the reality that some people have problems that have been experienced down the ages, they don't need self-help to reform themselves, life does that just as well.

[Artemis]

Anything purporting to tell you The Truth isn't worth consideration.

[Artemis]

Ma? I did a double.

[Funcrusher]

The one harsh truth - reading an article on Cracked won't make you a better person.

[Sam]

What a vacuous spewing of foetid, nasty shite that article is. Whatever simpering platitudes may be accidentally trapped in all that howling cacophony of abysmal 'advice', they are ruined seventeen times over by the appalling prose and sneering, agressive style. A bit like this post I'm writing, eh, except I haven't set myself up as some clear eyed sage for the masses. Even if that article was meant to be funny, it ISN'T, so it's failed on that level too.

It breaks my heart to think there might be some lovely but slightly unsure person reading that, nodding and sighing 'better me more of a cunt then'. Reading that made me feel how I do when I see vulnerable pensioners in technology shops being given the hard sell by a greasy twit.

I hope the man who wrote that article steps out into the road, is struck by the epiphany that he's the worst kind of cunt - the one he was writing about how not to be - and then is flattened by a bus, full of nice people.

Failing that, I hope he can't find a stapler next time he needs one.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Everyone who thinks they've made it seems to profess to know the secret of their success, and then proceed to stuff it down everyone's throat at each available opportunity. And it always hubristically comes down to something they did, and they always expect that everyone else is capable of repeating that. To repeat, their model for self-improvement is their life. Astonishing that anyone gives these egomaniacs the time of day.

I did especially like his list of insecure caveats at the end, as if to head off all the criticism at the pass.

[Small Man Big Horse]

What annoyed me (very very slightly, at least) was that it's not six harsh truths at all, more like two - "Get a good job so women will fancy you, you fuckwit" being repeated over and over again, and then a final "truth" in that if you take up a new hobby / learn something new, you'll improve as a human being. Both are probably true in the majority of cases, but the article could have been much shorter, and far less patronising as well.

[23 Daves]

A friend of mine has posted a link to a previous article the author has written which he thinks almost utterly contradicts this one in places:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-things-rich-people-need-to-stop-saying_p2/

Back when I was at Journalism college, I think we called these things "Conversation starters".  These days, of course, journalists call online examples of them "trolling".  Hey ho.

But going back to the original piece - are there instances in which a good old-fashioned bit of Henry Rollins styled butt-kicking inspires anyone?  We know that it's not exactly going to help anyone with clinical depression, but would some of the key pieces of advice in this article (aggressive pop psychology though it is) be of use to our worst slacker friends?  Some of the points made are perfectly valid. So many of my friends, for example, have backed out of doing things they have a huge interest in because they'll probably be awful at them to start with, missing the point that this is the position everyone starts from. (Mind you, Adam Ant got there first with "ridicule is nothing to be scared of"). 

[Sam]

Everyone who thinks they've made it seems to profess to know the secret of their success, and then proceed to stuff it down everyone's throat at each available opportunity. And it always hubristically comes down to something they did, and they always expect that everyone else is capable of repeating that. To repeat, their model for self-improvement is their life. Astonishing that anyone gives these egomaniacs the time of day.

I did especially like his list of insecure caveats at the end, as if to head off all the criticism at the pass.

Yes, bang on. Also, it's not just that some people are incapable of following 'how to be more like me' stuff like this, it's that they wouldn't want to anyway.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

In the sales jobs I've had, we have been 'inspired' by several videos, one of which was the infamous Glengarry Glen Ross scene- I couldn't believe what I was seeing, a moment opening the lid on the brutality and ultimate futility of employment, satirising how these jobs are emotionally consuming and emotionally cannibalistic, being used to inspire me to put everything on the line in order to sell car warranties over the phone to partially deaf old women.

We also watched Any Given Sunday.

[Danger Man]

Some of the points made are perfectly valid. So many of my friends, for example, have backed out of doing things they have a huge interest in because they'll probably be awful at them to start with, missing the point that this is the position everyone starts from.

If they want to do something then they will do it.

No '6 point plan' is going to change that.

[Mildly Diverting]

Where's TBC when you need an expert's analysis?

Edit - oops.

[The Βoston Crab]

You don't need a life lesson from a cockend, you just need to be free and be excellent to people.

Without being a cockend - if possible - possession of these two qualities is as reductive a credo as this OTT article promotes.

These qualities are very valuable if all you want from existence is to get on with people in your vicinity via the path of least resistance - and I rate that, I absolutely do - but if you'd like a rewarding working life, or a romantic relationship which develops beyond the initial sparkle, or a challenging artistic/intellectual pursuit, or sporting/physical achievement, or a broad variety of cultural/travel/linguistic experiences, or a fulfilling hobby/skill, or a certain number of fun/convenient material possessions, or an understanding of spiritual development, then you will face an awful lot of resistance and difficulties which 'not telling people things they don't want to hear' doesn't cover.

As for freedom, it's a fascinating question to determine whether a total rejection or pursuit of mainstream goals allows us the deepest taste of freedom in Western Capitalist society. I'd say it's a relative concept. I feel an awful lot more free now as a working adult with wife and house and people dependent on my work than I ever did spending my days drunk on Christ Church meadow as a student.

[The Βoston Crab]

You don't need a life lesson from a cockend, you just need to be free and be excellent to people.

Without being a cockend - if possible - possession of these two qualities is as reductive a credo as this OTT article promotes.

These qualities are very valuable if all you want from existence is to get on with people in your vicinity via the path of least resistance - and I rate that, I absolutely do - but if you'd like a rewarding working life, or a romantic relationship which develops beyond the initial sparkle, or a challenging artistic/intellectual pursuit, or sporting/physical achievement, or a broad variety of cultural/travel/linguistic experiences, or a fulfilling hobby/skill, or a certain number of fun/convenient material possessions, or an understanding of spiritual development, then you will face an awful lot of resistance and difficulties which 'not telling people things they don't want to hear' doesn't cover.

As for freedom, it's a fascinating question to determine whether a total rejection or pursuit of mainstream goals allows us the deepest taste of freedom in Western Capitalist society. I'd say it's a relative concept. I feel an awful lot more free now as a working adult with wife and house and people dependent on my work than I ever did spending my days drunk on Christ Church meadow as a student.

[Still Not George]

S'bollocks, innit.

[23 Daves]

If they want to do something then they will do it.

No '6 point plan' is going to change that.

But - aaaaaahhhh!!! - two of my friends have picked up on the article on Facebook and are now citing it as an inspiration for 2013.  I would provide screencaps, but I can't be bothered.  I suppose your point still stands in that they probably still will do nothing, and in any case I wouldn't particularly cite them as being people who had self-motivation problems in the first place. 

I'll agree that the article is very much of the "This worked for me, it will work for you" persuasion.  I personally didn't feel it was targeted at me much, purely because I do tend to get restless and miserable if there's too much repetition in my life.  I've often thought this has been a personality flaw rather than anything else, since it's stopped me from dedicating my life to a fixed discipline with any great enthusiasm.  The fact is that 99% of people are quite happy having steady day-jobs and playing computer games/ watching films after working hours, and good luck to them.  Being that kind of person hasn't held most people I know back much, if anything a lot of them are doing far better than me careers-wise (and they certainly had more relationships in their twenties). 

So I've been doing most of what the author suggests for most of my life, and I haven't found that it's led to any kind of utopia, although I'm relatively happy with my lot.

[Big Jack McBastard]

So basically:

'Slackers are baaad people m'kay, it's best to conform and produce shit and hit sales targets for the avaricious clusterfuck society humans have made for themselves or else you'll hate yourself and won't get the mad pussy or the expensive cars, you morons.'

Yeah?

Whateves bro.

[The Βoston Crab]

I think it's a fair reflection of the product of fucked up societal values. The only question is to what extent do you engage with that vision of society?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Having read The Boston Crab's post, and with all this said, yes, the one thing you can urge is open-mindedness and kindness to others. They are in my opinion only objectively sound areas of self-improvement to focus on.

If your self-improvement drive involves sacrificing or undermining either of those two things you diminish as a person, rather than grow as a person.

[biggytitbo]

Most people could improve themselves by stopping being twats.

[23 Daves]

So basically:

'Slackers are baaad people m'kay, it's best to conform and produce shit and hit sales targets for the avaricious clusterfuck society humans have made for themselves or else you'll hate yourself and won't get the mad pussy or the expensive cars, you morons.'

Yeah?

Whateves bro.

I didn't read it that he was asking anyone to engage with sales targets.  He seems to be arguing that human beings will naturally be happier if they try to engage with life itself, or at least develop new interests or skills, care for the vulnerable in their immediate community if they feel strongly about a cause, etc.  The aggressive nature of the prose does read like some kind of Donald Trump manual, but it's not actually specifically asking people to go and work in Finance (unless they want to).