CaB Men (The Adverts Thread)

[BlodwynPig]

Why can no-one decide how to pronounce Voyage Prive in their own advert? The woman at the end who does it in a French-ish voice annoys the tits off me.

Is that the 2011 advert with the fucking uke?

[SteveDave]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r_H6mGHLKk

That one. Plinky plonk music with a ukulele.

[BritishHobo]

look at us all connected and twittering and social netwanking each other

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tMWHyZlsqc

Is that what creativity is now? Just putting faces on things and uploading them to Facebook? God.

[MuteBanana]

Child walks in on his mum flicking herself off to the Tesco picker.

[303]

Any advert with a Victoria Wood voiceover can fuck right off.

[SimonJT]

There's an advert for a phone - Samsung, I think - where, in one scene, the phone's owner scrolls through its menus, and one of the items says:

"You have 400 new followers on..."

It's not a major part of the advert, it's just in the background, but I just found it really striking. Adverts being aspirational isn't a new thing, nor is them portraying a lifestyle that no-one could possibly live up to. But it appears that an ad agency has decided that for a popular, yet normal person, 400 is a typical number of new Twitter followers, between, presumably each time they check their phone. I wonder if this was focus grouped within the office, and people overestimated their Twitter activity so as not to seem uncool, and it got out of hand. Surely even Lady Gaga doesn't get 400 new followers every hour or whatever? Or maybe you all do and it's just me that doesn't.

What I'm saying is I want more followers dammit.

[Jamie Oliver is fat]

Yes, they actually went with a national ad campaign for;

"when you defecate shit out of your arsehole, do you mop it up with a scrunched up tissue or a folded one?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dBYzgW7xjk

[George Oscar Bluth II]

For once, a YouTube comment sums it up perfectly:

Yeah no worries. Why don't i tell you who i think about when i masturbate and what my spunk tastes like while i'm at it.

A staggeringly mad concept, that wouldn't even fly as a topic on this forum ffs.

[Spiteface]

The Tena lady ads.

Let me get this right, the point of both of these ads is that something happens to this woman so embarassing she pisses herself yet the bloke is none the wiser?

I have a dream where they abandon all subtlety and their ad slogan just reads "GO ON, PISS YOURSELF!"

[BlodwynPig]

Yes, they actually went with a national ad campaign for;

"when you defecate shit out of your arsehole, do you mop it up with a scrunched up tissue or a folded one?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dBYzgW7xjk

I always scrunch, but then I do wipe my arse on an orphan's hair.

Beehave!

[Cerys]

There's an advert for cooking a chicken in a bag - can't quite recall the name of the company, as I'm always distracted by the fact that when the chicken in served it resembles the point in the film when the river-hidden stab victim is poured out of the body bag.

[KLG-7B]

I suspect it's by the purveyor's of blood-pressure insensitive horrible time-savers, Maggi.

[Cerys]

I think you may well be right.  When will their reign of terror be stopped?  When?

[Icehaven]

Don would never have signed off on this one;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrgRrnQ1FRQ

''People aren't going to want to buy a car that they've seen with smoke pouring out of it, what else have you got? What, that's it? Jesus Christ, send Ginsberg in here.''

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Oooh, I've had those so-juicy chicken bag thingies. Bloody tasty. Although I think that was my fault as I didn't wait for the juices to run clear.

[KLG-7B]

Dawn French and Churchill

Horrible. They've picked another actress who looks like Jennifer Saunders, and Dawn French is doing the expressions and voice she always used to do in comedy things to portray a patronising, insincere person. It makes me shudder when she does that in an advert, even when it's a Tesco ad that you can only hear her doing it.

[KLG-7B]

She's talking about period pain.

[BritishHobo]

It's so fucking awkward!

[BlodwynPig]

Another titting Epic advert. Someone should tell that 30's going on 50 year old voice over guy, that the phrase Epic was only ever popular with 13 year old boys in 2009....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqqkl93jyis

[Subtle Mocking]

Another titting Epic advert. Someone should tell that 30's going on 50 year old voice over guy, that the phrase Epic was only ever popular with 13 year old boys in 2009....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqqkl93jyis

148,000 views and 38 likes? Someone's being tampering with views...

[SteveDave]

It's so fucking awkward!

Oh Lord.

[Thomas]

I just saw that advert with the Cheestring driving a car made of strips of cheese, the Ed Gein of the dairy world.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Desperation ahoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eyXxMqv4Rs

PLEASE tell me that that's NOT Derek Griffiths doing the voiceover.

[KLG-7B]

This one is worse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fV-iHT1f38

What awful person could have written this? Extract the urine? Makes me ashamed to be British. Is Chris 'Nibsy' Nibbs 'The Nipster' in advertising?

[Cerys]

Desperation ahoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eyXxMqv4Rs

PLEASE tell me that that's NOT Derek Griffiths doing the voiceover.

That is so not Derek Griffiths.  Derek would sooner insert a corkscrew into his urethra anyway.

[BlodwynPig]

Kevin Bacon says totes amazeballs in the new EE advert

Shark has jumped.

[boki]

Have we done that mean car advert yet?  The one where we're at first invited to empathise with a man who's lost his cat only to be immediately told to mug that weak shit off 'cos he's not your mate?  I think I get the kind of humour it's aiming for, but there's something way off about the execution to the extent where I almost expect it to turn out to be an ad for one of the tory tabloids.  Man, double-fuck Cameron's Britain.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

At the end it turns out the cat was hiding in a cupboard at home though. So it's fine.

[Cerys]

That's what they want you to think.  The original cat was killed by a passing steamroller eight years ago, but this knowledge has been blocked from Gary's mind due to his inability to cope with the horror of the event.  Now his neighbours all tut and shake their heads in sympathy as Gary posts up plea after plea for a return to the life he and Mr Fluffles enjoyed before that terrible day.

[Jamie Oliver is fat]

Have we done that mean car advert yet?  The one where we're at first invited to empathise with a man who's lost his cat only to be immediately told to mug that weak shit off 'cos he's not your mate?  I think I get the kind of humour it's aiming for, but there's something way off about the execution to the extent where I almost expect it to turn out to be an ad for one of the tory tabloids.  Man, double-fuck Cameron's Britain.

They very quickly changed the voice-over in that advert, the original was appallingly nasty, cutting from someone in distress about their pet to a couple of cackling cunts in their brand new cunt-mobile, braying about not caring about anyone but yourselves

The wording changed significantly by the time it was back on, no doubt due to feedback/complaints, it's now a bit milder, but still appalling

-edit-
here's the original

http://www.buyyourcar.co.uk/gallery/videos/id/13360-garys-cat-peugeot-208-advert