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CaB Men (The Adverts Thread)

Started by Subtle Mocking, December 29, 2012, 03:16:46 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cerys

#30
There's a twat in an advert for a mobile phone / tablet / whatever who rejoices that now he has this amazing gadget, he can live life in 3D!  Made me right jealous, it did.  I'm sure you feel the same, being stuck in this two dimensional world we all inhabit.

Edited so that live is life.  Da da da da da.

Subtle Mocking

Quote from: Cerys on January 08, 2013, 12:55:57 PM
There's a twat in an advert for a mobile phone / tablet / whatever who rejoices that now he has this amazing gadget, he can live live in 3D!  Made me right jealous, it did.  I'm sure you feel the same, being stuck in this two dimensional world we all inhabit.

And he does it with the smuggest little sneer, too.

Also, it's slightly odd that the father at the end can have such a varied litter of children.

MuteBanana


Cerys

'What would you say if we told you we washed this sheet days ago?


... and that it's been jizzed on repeatedly by some bloke we found living in a dustbin?'

KLG-7B


MuteBanana


BlodwynPig

Quote from: MuteBanana on January 08, 2013, 01:18:28 PM
Die. Die. Die.

Lenor?

Eh? EH!?...its fucking 2013. Badly dubbed shitfests like this were resigned to the dustbin years ago.

Icehaven


SteveDave

Quote from: icehaven on January 08, 2013, 08:14:21 PM

Don't you just think ''snot in hair''?

I think he's already got a moustache by the looks of it.

Gulftastic

Kingsmill have caved into the pressure and cut a bit out of their 'jailbait' ad.

Cerys

Quote from: Subtle Mocking on January 08, 2013, 12:56:45 PM
And he does it with the smuggest little sneer, too.

Also, it's slightly odd that the father at the end can have such a varied litter of children.

Not if you assume it's a dysfunctional family of homicidal alien cyborgs.  The long-haired girl's shitty little laugh is a dead giveaway.  Cold.  Dead.  Eyes.

Notlob

Quote from: MuteBanana on January 08, 2013, 06:19:20 PM
Warburton's creepy twins made me laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAQqmbh-b_4

Sweet home alabama what is that? WHAT is IT? I'll tell you son, it's a couple of escapees from village of the damned. Just wait til they hit puberty and stare and stare at mummy and daddy with their cold dead loveless eyes, just stare and stare in the middle of the night mummy and daddy will wake to find them with their cold dead loveless eyes nothing's the matter just go back to sleep we just like to stare and stare -

DROWN THEM NOW.

Also

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wnrUDY4Gfs

I'm not exactly the target audience, though their target audience seems to cross over somewhat with McDonalds'.

Ocho

Captain Birdseye auditions!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZq24AybkPg

Captain 1. Seems a bit desperate, a little too eager to please.  He knows his fish fingers are substandard and thinks ramping up the enthusiasm will help cover the shortcomings of his low-quality cod morsels.

Captain 2. Milkman Birdseye reveals a lesser known part of the Captain Birdseye mythos, the fact that he had children of his own.  Sadly, looks like he's been living a rather ascetic lifestyle, giving the impression that breadcrumbed fishflesh is not a teatime treat, but merely a way of delivering nutrients without the distractions of pleasure.

Captain 3. Underneath that cable knit sweater is an enormous medallion, a well-groomed chest-thatch and the heady aroma of Hai Karate.  Captain, you're supposed to be persuading the mums at home to buy fish fingers for the kids' teas, not persuade them to join you in your leopard-lined cabin to try out the waterbed while you pop open a bottle of Black Tower.

Captain 4. Already knows he's got the job.

Jamie Oliver is fat

The new Sky advert with Ruth Jones and Robert Lindsay is quite something to behold, I can't fine it online sorry.

Truly toe-curling stuff, so much so you keep expecting a punchline to come

It ends with Lindsay mournfully saying something like, "a well-known actor friend of mine has a lot to say about Sky, but he recently told me, I'm missing out aren't I? <smirk>" delivered completely deadpan, fade to black.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Gulftastic on January 11, 2013, 08:45:35 PM
Kingsmill have caved into the pressure and cut a bit out of their 'jailbait' ad.

Only saw this recently. Or rather looked up, saw some nice legs and a ridiculously short skirt, did a mini Blimey, then two seconds later the embarrassment that I'd been absent mindedly perving on a girl of most likely 15 at best (wih a great rear).

Look for my name in the papers folks.

Jamie Oliver is fat



BlodwynPig

Just looks like your run of the kingsmill schoogirl, what's the big deal?

Jamie Oliver is fat


Dead kate moss

Seems like there are two versions of the Kingsmill as, I saw the one where she bends over and splays her fanny can be seen in the short(ish) skirt yesterday after noting the absence of that 'money-shot' the day before.

The Masked Unit

Quote from: Cerys on January 08, 2013, 12:55:57 PM
There's a twat in an advert for a mobile phone / tablet / whatever who rejoices that now he has this amazing gadget, he can live life in 3D!  Made me right jealous, it did.  I'm sure you feel the same, being stuck in this two dimensional world we all inhabit.

Edited so that live is life.  Da da da da da.

You do realise that advert's a parody of that style of advertising in which mobile phones are talked up as lifestyle enhancers rather than phones? They couldn't have made it more obvious if they'd tried to be honest.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

Those Everything Everywhere adverts with Kevin Bacon annoy me. I've no problem with him or the general concept of the adverts, but he's not playing the Six Degrees game properly!

Cerys

Quote from: The Masked Unit on January 17, 2013, 10:51:54 AM
You do realise that advert's a parody of that style of advertising in which mobile phones are talked up as lifestyle enhancers rather than phones? They couldn't have made it more obvious if they'd tried to be honest.

This is what I get for blanking out years of phone adverts.  Ah well.

BlodwynPig


Jamie Oliver is fat


BlodwynPig

Quote from: Jamie Oliver is fat on January 17, 2013, 01:14:37 PM
does it matter?

yes, it shows a regression in the mindset of the advertising loon

Kishi the Bad Lampshade

Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on January 17, 2013, 11:07:15 AM
Those Everything Everywhere adverts with Kevin Bacon annoy me. I've no problem with him or the general concept of the adverts, but he's not playing the Six Degrees game properly!

My favourite thing about those ads is that when he says "it's a cracker!" I don't think he's been told that he's supposed to be doing Frank Carson, or who Frank Carson is. I think he just got the script and presumed he was supposed to do it in a parrot voice.


KLG-7B

Toyota didn't really think very carefully about the broadcast channels of their latest ad:


BlodwynPig


KLG-7B

The advert only makes sense with the text at the bottom (which plays throughout), but it's entirely covered by YouTube's interface.

There's a very annoying Saniflo advert with the European dialogue dubbed over in English (as was popular in bog roll ads in the 90s) with the worst actor's impression of a workingclassman (plumber) imaginable.