CaB Men (The Adverts Thread)

[Subtle Mocking]

I can't in good conscience donate to causes/charities that spend ad revenue on shocking people into donating. Does this make me a bad person?

[Zetetic]

Noting that it's not trying to get you to donate (or at least that's not it's claimed primary purpose).

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Does anyone have a comprehensive article/link to advertising in the cinema?

I expect to see a graph with an exponentially increasing curve with YEAR on the x-axis and No. Adverts/Length of advertising on the y-axis (Figure 1).

On the following page I expect to see a table detailing the diversity of advert types over the same period as Figure 1. This will also show an increasing diversity.

And finally, I expect to see a comparative table of adverts featuring on Television and those shown at the cinema. A rather more complicated graph will highlight a convergence of the two over the last decade.

The word 'cruel' has started flashing.

[Icehaven]

I'm finding it hard to care what St John Ambulance want, and I'm unable to help a sudden strong dislike of them for putting that in my head. They're just associated with the utter futility of everything to me now.

[Subtle Mocking]

Oh wait, that text number at the end is for a free first aid pack. I seemed to mistake that for one of those text donation things. Whoopsy.

Still, it's odd that I'm so averse to shock adverts like that one for causes. Maybe it's because of my prior experiences with PFIs.

[Key]

I feel somewhat ashamed to admit that I laughed at the end of that advert. Its so heavy-handed in it's grimness that it crosses over into absurd territory.

[Jamie Oliver is fat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3hyy3bpnHw

1. Woman giving her child sellotape to play with? Time to make a phone call.
2. Massive favour? Massive fuck off and leave my coffee alone.
3. Liar.
4. Carey Mulligan?
5. IT MEANS HE'S GOING TO SEE YOU LATER YOU BINT
6. Friend zone well and truly obliterated with one seedy, suggestive sentence.
7. That actor does the voice over for the Burger King advert. What a git.

It's another one of those "LOOK! WE UNDERSTAND REAL PEOPLE! LOOK HOW NORMAL AND LIKE YOU THESE PEOPLE ARE!"

Except it makes me want to kill normal people.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

Who the fuck goes to McDonalds for coffee, anyway?

It's 2013, there's a hundred different speciality coffee places in every town in the country and you think people are going to go to McDonalds to drink their premade coffee out of a machine? Are you fucking nuts?

[BlodwynPig]

Who the fuck goes to McDonalds for coffee, anyway?

It's 2013, there's a hundred different speciality coffee places in every town in the country and you think people are going to go to McDonalds to drink their premade coffee out of a machine? Are you fucking nuts?

To put it bluntly - despicable people. Some person I respected showed up as "liking" McDonalds new connoisseur coffee range (my words, their implication) on Facebook. I deleted them and sent them a pipe bomb.

Misplaced youthful enthusiasm - soon blunted by over exposure to all forms of toxins. No sympathy.

Yours in earnest,
Baron Greenback

[monkfromhavana]

I quite like McDonalds coffee (obviously when bought as part of a breakfast, something that I eat maybe once every 3 years or so). The coffee's horrible, but I always prefer drinking coffee out of paper cups/non-biodegradable cups. There's something so very wrong about it that I enjoy. Maybe i'm just naturally a bit kinky[nb]or simple[/nb].

[George Oscar Bluth II]

You disgust me.

[monkfromhavana]

You disgust me.

OR

do I lead the type of life that you secretly wish you could?

[BlodwynPig]

You deguste me.

[monkfromhavana]

You deguste me.

I don't care, I fucking LOVE McDonalds coffee. I'm free.

Percolate that thought bomb, losers!

[George Oscar Bluth II]

You're probably one of those people who's into being an adult baby or whipping or having a middle aged woman in high heels walk over you too, aren't you?

Sicko.

[Subtle Mocking]

It's on the same level as that coffee you get from Selecta vending machines. It probably is that very same coffee. Still, if you get six of the monstrosities, you get one free!

[monkfromhavana]

You're probably one of those people who's into being an adult baby or whipping or having a middle aged woman in high heels walk over you too, aren't you?

Sicko.

I very nearly spat my dummy out reading that.

I just like vending machine coffee...in fact I probably prefer it to those poncy Starbucks/Costa extra smooth frothy skimmed mocachinos with a twist type nonsense.

A good Selecta coffee can't be topped. I salute them.

[MuteBanana]

The RSPCA advert is the one that annoys me most.

"I don't intend on letting one animal down and I know you don't either."

Oh thanks. Just trying to watch Loose Women and now I've got dead puppies on my conscious.

[BlodwynPig]

^^
I agree, all this barista nonsense is a joke. Pumphrey's, a local (?), company that do great coffee and sell the beans and stuff in Grainger Market, were advertising barista training for £85 to the unemployed of the North. Fuck that. We don't want your fucking half-bearded, scarf wearing, drainpipe trousering twats up here.

[Jamie Oliver is fat]

McDonald's coffee is excellent TBF.

Especially when accompanied by a sausage, egg and cheese bagel.

[BlodwynPig]

McDonald's coffee is excellent TBF.

Especially when accompanied by a sausage, egg and cheese bagel.

I'd expect no less from you, Ronald.

[monkfromhavana]

Oh thanks. Just trying to watch Loose Women and now I've got dead puppies on my conscious.

If I watch Loose Women, I already have dead puppies in my mind from staring at Denise whatsherfaces tits.

[Cerys]

Jesus fucking christ. That really has to be seen right through to be... fuck. I need a little lie down.

I'm not crying.  It's only crying if the tears escape and trickle down your cheeks, right?  Right.  So I'm not crying.

[BlodwynPig]

I'm not crying.  It's only crying if the tears escape and trickle down your cheeks, right?  Right.  So I'm not crying.

He's only an actor, Cerys. He lives!

[Cerys]

That's why I'm not crying.

[monkfromhavana]

Can I add my hatred of a radio advert? Bhandal's Dental Surgery, which I don't think is a nationwide chain, but they certainly operate in the Midlands. Their radio ads consist of a young guy and lady discussing secrets, and how Bhandal's braces can remain hidden.

Her sign off is "that's because Bhandal's is the real TING"

I don't understand why at the end of a normal conversation the woman has to suddenly slip into faux-patois for the last word of the ad. It certainly doesn't connect with the youth and is totally out of place, both with the advert, and the woman.
What's next? bumbaclot fillings? Ras crowns?

[Jamie Oliver is fat]

look at us all connected and twittering and social netwanking each other

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tMWHyZlsqc

[Bobby Treetops]

look at us all connected and twittering and social netwanking each other

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tMWHyZlsqc

Wankers...all the them.

[SteveDave]

Why can no-one decide how to pronounce Voyage Prive in their own advert? The woman at the end who does it in a French-ish voice annoys the tits off me.

[Cerys]

They all piss me off.  Smug cunts.