Jurassic Park 4

[Old Nehamkin]

I really liked 3, although I was about 10 at the time. This is still my favourite moment in any of the Jurassic Parks[nb]It isn't[/nb]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VREfqK6Y2yk

[The Roofdog]

Another vote for III over The Lost World here. Like many my age, Jurassic Park was my first truly memorable cinema experience and I loved the Crichton sequel (as a ten-year old admittedly) but was crushed by the film's crapness. Went into JP III with realistic expectations and came out having enjoyed an entertaining kids' monster movie. I often wonder how good a film the original would have been with greater fidelity to the novel and an 18 certificate.

The bit that's sorely lacking from the film is some kind of retribution for Hammond, who in the novel

Spoiler alert

goes for a stroll outside for no reason, gets a bit tired and then gets gradually nipped to death by a pack of tiny little Procompsognathus

[close]

.

EDIT: oh, and also the bit after Newman is blinded by the Dilophosaurus, so it takes him a few seconds to figure out that

Spoiler alert

he's been eviscerated and is holding his own intestines

[close]

[Cerys]

Regarding the crapness or otherwise of JP films, I introduced Bethan to them last weekend.  She loved the first, so we moved straight on to the second.  When I asked her if she wanted to see the third, she said 'uh - no'.  She liked the bit with the two T-Rexes tearing whatsisname in two, though.  Bloodthirsty little oik.

[Thomas]

The bit that's sorely lacking from the film is some kind of retribution for Hammond, who in the novel

Spoiler alert

goes for a stroll outside for no reason, gets a bit tired and then gets gradually nipped to death by a pack of tiny little procompsognathus

[close]

.

The most haunting bit of the novel for me, that, save for perhaps the image of those chirpy Hypsilophodons, I think it was,

Spoiler alert

skipping along as the island is destroyed

[close]

. Inspired a thread what I started a few months ago, 'Goriest Fiction Deaths' or something.[nb]EDIT - 'Most gruesome telly/film/literary deaths' was the one.[/nb]

Spoiler alert

Nedry's demise is also particularly memorable, but it doesn't have the same horror as Hammond's fate, what with the venom lulling him into a calm, dreamlike state as the Procompsognathus gang chews him up.

[close]

[Artemis]

They should throw a curveball in some way for JP4. Something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w-58hQ9dLk

[Steve Lampkins]

I just watched JP1 for the first time in years. Saw it on opening night at the cinema when I was 11 or 12, and it scared me quite a bit.

I enjoyed watching it, but a lot less happens in it than I remembered. I must have been adding parts of the book into my memories.

[Cerys]

Agh, crap.  Now she wants to read the book.

[Thomas]

I hope you converted that excellent Jurassic Park rendition to MP3 legally, Cerys.

Strange that some people down in YouTube comment land seem to think it's a genuine attempt at covering the theme.

[Cerys]

I don't know what you mean....

[Povidone]

To those of you expressing a negative opinion of the JP sequels I will say what I say to everyone who comes out with similar claptrap which is that you are objectively wrong and also cunts. The only correct assessment of the Jurassic Park canon is that it is the human race's highest artistic achievement and another sequel will always, always be welcome.

The only way in which Jurassic Park 4 could turn out to be anything less than cinematic perfection is if they somehow forget to put in any dinosaurs in it. Or cast Russel Crow.

[Thomas]

In a way, Povidone, it's my love for the canon of the Jurassic Park world that has me disliking Jurassic Park 3.

It's like with Gremlins 2, or 28 Weeks Later, or The New Testament. I wish they'd never happened to their associated canons.

[Povidone]

I understand your point of view, my point of view however goes along the lines of: 'Dinosaurs! Brilliant! No amount of phoned in acting, ropey dialogue and tenuous plot lines will distract from the FUCKING BRILLIANT DINOSAURS!'

It's a complete blind spot for criticism with me, I cannot be made to see reason. As far as I know I don't do this with anything else but my critical faculties aren't quite engaged properly at this second due to me having thought about Jurassic Park recently.

I once had a dream that I was in Jurassic Park 3, I woke up in a state of ecstatic bliss which remained with me for the rest of the day. It was truly beautiful.

[Hangthebuggers]

If I was in charge, I'd make the 4th film about an investigation into the events of the first film. You could have a similar set, but with the wrecked offices, park and such, and the round-up of all the escaped dinosaurs. Which dinosaurs survived, where did they go etc?

Better than the other idea about fucking human/dino hybrids.

[Replies From View]

Excellent idea!  It should be done like Back to the Future Part 2.  Investigate the events by actually going into them using a Delorean/penis.

[VegaLA]

Did anything ever come of that cylinder of Dino DNA that was stolen by the bloke from 3RD Rock? If not that could pick it up from there. I can see it now. 20 years later the Island has become a thriving paradise to rich people with amazing hotels and hot girls in bikinis. Over on the far side of the island a rich crazed lunatic brings the dinosaurs back from extinction in his fortified laboratory, but a bunch of T Rexs and those ones with the sharp claws escape, heading to the newly opened and totally packed out resort. Can Ian Mculloch and Ken Foree save the day? Also some Zombies. SOLD!

[Replies From View]

Did anything ever come of that cylinder of Dino DNA that was stolen by the bloke from 3RD Rock?

Didn't it get lost in the park itself when he was killed?  Anybody who discovers that cylinder would presumably have access to plenty of Dino DNA by being with the dinosaurs themselves.

[up_the_hampipe]

As a dinosaur-obsessed child, Jurassic Park will always be among my favourite film series.

The first one was a classic. The second one was actually my favourite because, even though it's mostly stupid, it's batshit crazy and ultimately entertaining. The third one was fine, even if Tea Leoni annoyed the piss out of me.

Not sure what to expect from the fourth. I'll still be first in line, though.

[Replies From View]

Ha, you speak as if Jurassic Park was even half as exciting as this:

[Hangthebuggers]

Didn't it get lost in the park itself when he was killed?  Anybody who discovers that cylinder would presumably have access to plenty of Dino DNA by being with the dinosaurs themselves.

It got lost in a load of mud after he got gobbed in the face by the Dilophosaurus.

[Replies From View]

Yes that's right the dildosaurus.

[Hangthebuggers]

Stop getting dinosaurs wrong.

[Thomas]

Stop getting dinosaurs wrong.

Jurassic Park 4's tagline?

[Replies From View]

Jurassic Park 4:  This Time, The Iguanodon Is Definitely Correct

[Thomas]

As opposed to that beakless monstrosity in Disney's Dinosaur.

Lips, pfft. Who was he pretending to be? Rita Hayworth?

[Tiny Poster]

Ooh, they should clone Newman



Ah, ah, ah!

[Replies From View]

As opposed to that beakless monstrosity in Disney's Dinosaur.

Lips, pfft. Who was he pretending to be? Rita Hayworth?

I don't mind lips if there is an in-story reason for them.  Like maybe the dinosaur has commandeered a worm that then adjusts to forming phonemes for its terrible lizard overlord.  What I don't like is the opportunity missed to let a child's liquidy contents fall between a dinosaur's teeth.

[Thomas]

What I don't like is the opportunity missed to let a child's liquidy contents fall between a dinosaur's teeth.

Yes, it's perhaps the greatest tragedy of that 65 million year gap; nature's unbreachable electric fence of time.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Did anything ever come of that cylinder of Dino DNA that was stolen by the bloke from 3RD Rock?

They find it in the recent game: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jurassic_Park:_The_Game. According to the wiki

Spoiler alert

there's somebody else on the island sent to steal the DNA, but it seems like whatever you do it gets smashed by a dinosaur

[close]

. I can't be bothered reading it too closely and I don't think it was supposed to be much cop anyway.

They should just do a reboot I reckon.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

A clip from the Rifftrax of Jurassic Park:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQBj9ER8orM

It often doesn't work when they riff really good movies, as you get drawn into the movie rather than listening to the riff.  But it's still quite entertaining.

Personally I'm genuinely amazed that nobody's attempted to make a movie from the 2000AD property FLESH yet, it's basically cowboys herding dinosaurs.  Surely such a concept would be a license to print money?

[Cerys]

It got lost in a load of mud after he got gobbed in the face by the Dilophosaurus.

Perfect! 

The year is 65,000,000 AD.  The place - the ruins of South America.  Android palaeontologist Grant Alanixor is in search of fossilised remains of primitive 21st Century humans - and finds something else.  Something unexpected.  Something ...  with teeth!