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Knowledge That Spoils Films / Tv Shows

Started by Small Man Big Horse, March 04, 2013, 10:16:34 PM

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Small Man Big Horse

Recently (possibly here) I read that if a person is knocked unconscious,
Spoiler alert
if they aren't revived within 5 - 10 minutes it's a pretty dangerous situation, can cause brain damage, and if you're out for an hour or more you're going to be pretty much fucked unless you're hugely lucky. Yet in a ridiculous amount of films people are knocked out for hours at a time, and then wake up fresh as a daisy,
[close]
which is basically impossible. And it's a thing which really annoys me now, and takes me out of the reality of the piece.

So does anyone have any other similar pieces of info that spoil films and or tv shows, and hey, why not books too?

madhair60

People jumping between two buildings.  It's fucking difficult.  Not happening mate.

Thomas

I learned that a few months ago, and now I'm always internally pointing it out when it happens as a plot point. I like that you've spoilered biomedical information, I've never seen that done before.

For me, determinist old me, all fiction is science fiction - to have a world featuring a fictional, non-existent character or situation, our real-world history would have to be shifted, right back to the Big Bang. The Big Bang would have to have been different in some way to allow for the existence of Sherlock Holmes, Kevin Webster, or Hermione Granger.

That's how weirdo, pedantic me forgives such errors. It's science fiction. In the alternate universe of, say, Die Hard,
Spoiler alert
banging your head and going unconscious for ages isn't a problem.
[close]

Also,
Spoiler alert
not believing in anything supernatural
[close]
can[nb]not always, but can[/nb] suck the fun out of horror like gut juice up a vacuum cleaner. It sounds flippant, but it's true.

madhair60

Frankenstein doesn't exist, which absolutely shot the movie in the foot, frankly.

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Any stuff involving computers where some wanker clatters at a keyboard for 2 seconds and then announces "I've hacked in to their system / broken the password / broken the encryption".

The last one is total fucking rubbish especially when it occurs in 24, since - for reasons of plotting - they have to pretend that CTU have "partially decrypted" something. Which is bullshit. Modern cryptographic algorithms are nothing like crappy like kids "codes". It's not about swapping letters around or mapping them. It all goes through a hashing function so that 2 texts that differ in just one character will give widely different outputs, and decryption is an all-or-nothing. So "breaking the encryption" is a non-trivial, possibly uncompleteable task, certainly within the timeframe of a film. So... there's always some "genius" who can work fucking miracles by hitting a few keys very quickly.

Tamarind Massacre

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on March 04, 2013, 10:16:34 PM
Recently (possibly here) I read that if a person is knocked unconscious,
Spoiler alert
if they aren't revived within 5 - 10 minutes it's a pretty dangerous situation, can cause brain damage, and if you're out for an hour or more you're going to be pretty much fucked unless you're hugely lucky. Yet in a ridiculous amount of films people are knocked out for hours at a time, and then wake up fresh as a daisy,
[close]
which is basically impossible. And it's a thing which really annoys me now, and takes me out of the reality of the piece.

Spoiler alert
And even if you do regain consciousness quickly, you will suffer from severe concussion.
[close]

Thomas


Mark Steels Stockbroker

Any reference at all to "quantum physics" could be greatly improved if the characters just said "magic".

Small Man Big Horse


Pedro_Bear




Evolution. Never, ever learn what this entails. Every single scifi tv show and film gets it wrong.

So wrong, in fact, it's almost as if there is a Creationist agenda to distort public perception of the theory.
[nb]Typical case: STVoyager, Paris breaks the warp 10 barrier.

I have no issues with the concept of trans-light speeds somehow being achieved, or a future without money. I have no issue with Paris joining with every point in the Universe simultaneously, that actually makes a lot of sense. I can handwave the holographic and computer technology that could somehow produce a sarcastic and highly entertaining spaceship's doctor.

I can also accept that Paris starts to rapidly mutate and biologically change at a cellular level without dying, in principle. If he's everything and everywhere at once, then what's a systematic change to every dna strand in his body at once? Nuthin', that's what.

What wrecks the entire episode is that this change is referred to as Paris undergoing rapid evolution, and becoming what humans will eventually evolve into. NO NO NO NO NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT EVOLUTION IS, IT'S NOT WHAT EVOLUTION MEANS, the writers are just making stuff up now. There is no forward evolutionary pathway. We can only map backwards, linking up near-extinction level events with the emergence of new dominant survival traits. We can't predicitively evolve forwards into a final form, any more than a contemporary ape could evolve into a human being. Predicitive evolution is a contradiciton in terms; evolution is random, it is what is left crawling away from catastrophe after catastrophe, with a whole species in danger of being wiped out for good each time.[/nb]

small_world


Vodka Margarine

Quote from: small_world on March 05, 2013, 12:02:38 AM
Magnify image.
Sharpen.

Indeed. You're never going to make out that number plate or face by just zooming into pixels. What you're going to get is big blurry blocks of fuck all.

El Unicornio, mang

A lit cigarette landing on a big pool of gasoline won't start a fire. Likewise, cars that are on fire rarely blow up.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Mark Steels Stockbroker on March 04, 2013, 11:01:13 PM
Any stuff involving computers where some wanker clatters at a keyboard for 2 seconds and then announces "I've hacked in to their system / broken the password / broken the encryption".

This. Add to that the ridiculous graphics seen on screen while the person is "hacking", zooming down pipes in 3D etc.

Actually not just hacking, with almost anything involving computers in any movie/tv show they've usually added all sorts of ridiculous bells & whistles which just makes it look completely unrealistic to anyone with more than a passing acquantance with computers.

Big Jack McBastard

Poncy see-through screens with blue threads of light around the rim and their hands-waving-in-the-air operators can both piss right off.

98% of film based representations of crime analysis or security software

No. nien, niet, nothing exists like that, no-one living today could be that savvy with such an application from the off, shit is tedious, long work, you don't get results that quickly, fuck you, just no.

Ditto goes for hacking accounts, passwords etc, as already mentioned. For me to even begin to believe they'd have to at least whack a USB stick in first and run something from that and then have it fail at least twice, once from the computer being shitty and slow, locking up from trying to load a ton of adware or antivirus updates and the other a BSOD cos the inside of the case has never been cleaned out and has a fur carpet of dust barnacled to the fan blades. This would most likely take the whole film, from the first second to the arse end of the credits when the tech has done something calamitous and is forced to fuck it off and re-install windows.

Anything short of that is a fucking disgrace to all of our intelligences.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Big Jack McBastard on March 05, 2013, 03:09:07 AM
98% of film based representations of crime analysis or security software

Yes, like in CSI someone will lift a partial fingerprint from a snowflake using a piece of bubblegum, this will be scanned into the computer with a laser and the computer will find a match and within 2 seconds we see the rotating 3D head of the murderer.

Big Jack McBastard

.. and some cunt in the room always knows the perp, well enough to fuck with his perfectly recreated 3D bonce 

'He was there that time way back, when the shit hit the fan in Diego'

You know, when that vague thing happened, might have been a botched drug deal, or cargo containers full of Vietnamese hookers. A cop probably got shot and is still paralysed from the tits down but by now she's just philosophical and a bit weepy about it but her raging husband wants vigilante justice sooo hard that rather than kill the perp the cunt who knows him from before just 'accidentally' breaks his spine instead of blowing his brains out when it comes to the crunch.

Lol ironic injury plus life in jail while some cunt and the husband exchange a montage of heartfelt glances and nods as the courtroom clears.

Get it in the can, on to next weeks ep, bang these out 5 minutes a pop.

Big Jack McBastard

Hannah Montana and her whole "Oh I have a wig, I'm famous!", "Oh I've taken it off, I'm normal."-thing. right, let's have a think about this.

Now this is just a wild bit of speculation but I propose that the story of an attractive[nb]She's too annoying, insipid, mad toothed, jumped up, related to Billy Ray and many other things for my tastes.[/nb] girl with a boon bestowing wig is in fact geared towards slavering old men sporting viagra boners and bad toupees who see the lie they were sold, propel a bit of lint-brained jailbait to stardom and riches.

At it's heart a malicious manipulation of the roving testicles of pervs and their broken dreams of regained glory plus the endless capacity for tat and GITMO torture-style music that young girls seem to possess.

Just imagine the smell at one of her concerts, a cloud of abrasive perfumes and sweat not quite managing to overpower the biting stench of rotten-in-the-bag, foetid, yellow semen, intertwined with the tangy bouquet of vomit tinged with some neon energy drink+Rohypnol.

I have never watched Hanna Montana, or subjected myself to more than half of one of her songs, nonetheless I'm confident of my appraisal and submit it for review to you fine folks.

phantom_power

If you know, and I am pretty sure this is true, that CPR can't revive someone, It can only keep them alive until they get defibrilated, lots of films and TV get spoiled

MojoJojo

CPR can only keep someone alive (I think) - but you don't necessarily need defibrilating, just more advanced medical care.

Also, defibrillation only works about 1 in 3 times.


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Some of this stuff is acceptable in stuff that isn't pretending to be real life.

It's worst in films that want to be seen as super serious, credible, realistic- ie- Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine developing bat sonar and a GUI for bat sonar whatever the fucking hell that is in about 20 minutes in The Dark (Pile of)Knight.

phantom_power

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 05, 2013, 07:57:54 AM
Some of this stuff is acceptable in stuff that isn't pretending to be real life.

It's worst in films that want to be seen as super serious, credible, realistic- ie- Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine developing bat sonar and a GUI for bat sonar whatever the fucking hell that is in about 20 minutes in The Dark (Pile of)Knight.

Those films aren't trying to be super serious or realistic though. They are just trying to put the character into a MORE realistic setting. After all it is still a bloke in a bat suit

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Quote from: small_world on March 05, 2013, 12:02:38 AM
Magnify image.
Sharpen.

But isn't the point that "Sharpen" applies a cleaning-up algorithm that refines the blocky data? Like what the big computer does in the Kevin Costner film No Way Out, to get a blurry image in to a clean image?

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on March 05, 2013, 12:17:47 AM
A lit cigarette landing on a big pool of gasoline won't start a fire. Likewise, cars that are on fire rarely blow up.

Isn't the point that it ignites the petrol vapour as it falls?

Mark Steels Stockbroker

I've got a theory that "hacking" doesn't really exist at all. ALL cases of major security breaches are due to fuck-ups, breaches (pages accessible to someone without the password), leaving the bag of passwords in the pub/back of taxi, or just insiders selling the passwords/breaking the system for a wad of cash. All the old-fashioned reasons, in other words.

Because big important banks and businesses don't like the world to know how porous they are, it suits them to keep alive a cultural stereotype of the "hacker" or "computer whizzkid", derived from films like War Games, when in fact such people are not the cause of their troubles.

gabrielconroy

Match of the Day became a lot more annoying to watch when someone pointed out that none of the commentary is recorded live, and all the excitement and surprise is faked. Seemed so obvious after that, but somehow it hadn't occurred to me before. Maybe I was blocking out the signs.

Zetetic

Quote from: Thomas on March 04, 2013, 11:03:09 PM
It's a UNIX system. I know this.
I don't really get what's so wrong with that. Okay, the subsequent jumps are a little over-the-top but FSN identifies the system pretty firmly as IRIX (and hence not only as a Unix but a UNIX system) and strongly implies, particularly at the time of the film,[nb]Assuming a certain degree of competence and standardization on Nedry's part.[/nb] that the park's systems will be exposed as files in a filesystem (and she'll know how to navigate that filesystem) which is pretty much half the problem in front of them solved.

olliebean

Quote from: Big Jack McBastard on March 05, 2013, 03:09:07 AM
Poncy see-through screens with blue threads of light around the rim and their hands-waving-in-the-air operators can both pee right off.

The idea that everyone is going to be using transparent screens in the future is probably related to those big sheets of perspex that they use in the present to write their theories on where anyone in the real world would use a whiteboard. Yes,I know it's probably just so the camera can show their face as they're writing, but it's so much not what people actually use that it still bothers me.

phantom_power

Quote from: Mark Steels Stockbroker on March 05, 2013, 08:54:28 AM
I've got a theory that "hacking" doesn't really exist at all. ALL cases of major security breaches are due to fuck-ups, breaches (pages accessible to someone without the password), leaving the bag of passwords in the pub/back of taxi, or just insiders selling the passwords/breaking the system for a wad of cash. All the old-fashioned reasons, in other words.

Because big important banks and businesses don't like the world to know how porous they are, it suits them to keep alive a cultural stereotype of the "hacker" or "computer whizzkid", derived from films like War Games, when in fact such people are not the cause of their troubles.

I think a lot of hacking involves exploiting operating systems and stuff rather than breaking passwords or encryption. Also, people break less secure systems to get passwords that they then apply to the more secure systems in the hope that people can't be bothered to think up different passwords

phantom_power

Quote from: gabrielconroy on March 05, 2013, 09:01:03 AM
Match of the Day became a lot more annoying to watch when someone pointed out that none of the commentary is recorded live, and all the excitement and surprise is faked. Seemed so obvious after that, but somehow it hadn't occurred to me before. Maybe I was blocking out the signs.

That's not true though, is it? Or at least not for most premiership games. Why wouldn't they record it live, or at least "as live" with no prior knowledge of what will happen? Most PL games are shown live somewhere anyway so would need a proper commentary