Knowledge That Spoils Films / Tv Shows

[Thomas]

I don't really get what's so wrong with that. Okay, the subsequent jumps are a little over-the-top but FSN identifies the system pretty firmly as IRIX (and hence not only as a Unix but a UNIX system) and strongly implies, particularly at the time of the film,[nb]Assuming a certain degree of competence and standardization on Nedry's part.[/nb] that the park's systems will be exposed as files in a filesystem (and she'll know how to navigate that filesystem) which is pretty much half the problem in front of them solved.

I was just mussing about. It winds a lot of people up but I've never been fussed by it. Rather the opposite, in fact - I was impressed by Lex's ability. Well done that girl.

What ruins Match of the Day for me is the fact that football doesn't actually exist. Seriously, try and find some in real life. I bet you it won't be there.

[Mini]

University Challenge is completely ruined as soon as you realise that the teams aren't actually above and below each other.

[Jemble Fred]

I'm normally good at waiving historical accuracy, but with a film like ANONYMOUS, which is very seriously making some pretty outlandish claims to "DA TROOT MAN SQUEEGEE YOUR THIRD EYE!!1!", even the most casual watch of half a David Starkey programme is enough to entitle you to hurl abuse at the screen for every dumb error which is paraded before the viewer throughout – really basic stuff like mistaking Shakespeare's 'Richard II' for 'Richard III' (entirely missing the point of Essex's staging of the former and undermining the very point of the film's existence), which reduce a story which was already the most transparent bollocks to transparent bollocks which can't even get the easy, proven stuff right. It makes it very hard not to see the likes of Sir Derek Jacobi as a bit thick for so ardently supporting it.

Sad thing is, the Earl of Oxford's life would have been interesting enough without the Shakespeare crap, and Rhys Ifans did a good job in the role. That's definitely a film spoiled by poor knowledge, and then multiplied by a hundred for its ridiculous nefarious intent.

[Wet Blanket]

People don't usually remove the headrest from the front seats of their cars.


In films, digital technology always makes biddly-beep noises when people use it, but in real life it's generally silent.

[Jerzy Bondov]

In films, digital technology always makes biddly-beep noises when people use it, but in real life it's generally silent.

I have no problem with futuristic movie smartphones making stupid noises: Most people don't know how to turn off the bleep-bloop noises on their cameras and phones, or worse still they actually like their phone to make a loud clicking sound every time they press anything on the screen. I bet in most scenes showing somebody operating an advanced personal organisation device there is some grumpy bastard out of shot seething at the twat who doesn't know how to turn off the stupid noises.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Those films aren't trying to be super serious or realistic though. They are just trying to put the character into a MORE realistic setting. After all it is still a bloke in a bat suit

No, you can't have your cake and eat it.

It wanted fans to be impressed by how Batman is real, not a cyborg or flying tit type man, and that the bravery of his human feats are as impressive if not more so than fictional superpowers.

Then BAT SONAR

Also the tone is far more pompous than Burton's films, which makes the seemingly instant invention of a conceptually ludicrous time-saving piece of bat-tech look incongruous and stupid.

[lazarou]

In films, digital technology always makes biddly-beep noises when people use it, but in real life it's generally silent.

It's a similar story with guns, which don't actually rattle and click like they're going to fall apart if you so much as wave them around.

We're getting dangerously close to common cliches thread II here, but what the hey.

[Gulftastic]

I blame Mythbusters. Especially with regard to gun stuff. They've de-bunked so much hollywood bullshit.

My favourite is people getting shot when they are underwater, like in Saving Private Ryan or The Italian Job (newer one). As they showed on the show, high caliber bullets disintergrate really, really fast when going through water, within about a metre of the surface. Pistol bullets go a little further, about 2 meters.

Also, people getting thrown backwards when they are shot is utter shit.

[Blumf]

Also, people getting thrown backwards when they are shot is utter shit.

This!



I can't stand the stupid behaviour you get, mostly, in horror films. "Oh you're going back into the monster house, could have gone to get help but nope, back in, on your own, uh-huh". The main reason I just hate the Romero zombie films, it's just people doing pointlessly unbelievable stupid shit.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I can excuse most stupid behaviour in films because people in real life do insanely stupid things all the time. Why did she go into the cellar? Why she antagonise the hillbillies? Why did she turn down the offer to stay in the hospital in favour of going back to the house where she found some dead bodies even though she's temporarily blind and there's a maniac on the loose? Because she's an idiot. We all are. Especially me.

[Blumf]

I nuke it from orbit, every time, just to be safe.

Also it looks cool.

[checkoutgirl]

I remember I read a Cracked article about this kind of thing and it altered my perception of every film since.

1. Silencers on guns (in real life) reduce the noise by about 10% or something, they basically make no difference. Every film that features a silencer shows someone getting shot in one room while a child sleeps blissfully undisturbed in the room next to it.

2. Medical people hardly ever bother to remove a bullet when someone's been shot in real life because they're too busy stopping you from dying but in films, the removal of the bullet is always the number one priority for some reason. As soon as the bullet is removed, the issue is usually resolved.

3. Files are always encoded but the computer operator always has the right code cracking software. (Elementary has a recent example)

4. I think if you're knocked out for more than a couple of minutes then you're either brain dead or actually dead. Films never reflect this fact because the reality of it would fuck with the plot.

5. Guns usually have 200 bullets in them regardless of the size of the magazine or even if it's a revolver. 200 bullets for you sir.

The knowledge of these things definitely crosses my mind when I watch films but I try to put it out of my mind.

[Jemble Fred]

It's very rare that you ever see the heroes and heroines of a romantic comedy at the sexual health clinic, isn't it?

[Stone Cold Jane Austen]

Ever since I found out that the 'Happy Birthday' song costs loads to clear I keep noticing that films will often use some kind of made up alternative birthday song to avoid paying the copyright. This Is England being a recent example of this.

[lazarou]

Medical people hardly ever bother to remove a bullet when someone's been shot in real life because they're too busy stopping you from dying but in films, the removal of the bullet is always the number one priority for some reason. As soon as the bullet is removed, the issue is usually resolved.

Another variant of this is when a character's been stabbed or impaled and they focus on pulling the offending item out as soon as possible. In a lot of cases, that's the worst thing you could do, likely to lead to massively increased blood loss. Here it tends to reduce the problem to a limp or other minor issue.

[Vodka Margarine]

If Hollywood films are to be believed, the vast majority of people have sex with their underwear still on.

[Kane Jones]

If Hollywood films are to be believed, the vast majority of people have sex with their underwear still on.

I must admit, I do quite like to pull a lady's knickers to one side, but my boxers must be all the way off. Make of that what you will.

[Brundle-Fly]

I

5. Guns usually have 200 bullets in them regardless of the size of the magazine or even if it's a revolver. 200 bullets for you sir.

I read somewhere that the sharp shooting in Westerns is a fallacy. See duelling pistols, flintlock shoot outs too. The old guns did not have any such accuracy that we observed in say, Django Unchained.
Is this bollocks?

[checkoutgirl]

I must admit, I do quite like to pull a lady's knickers to one side, but my boxers must be all the way off. Make of that what you will.

I'll pop that in the amnesia file.

[Brundle-Fly]

If Hollywood films are to be believed, the vast majority of people have sex with their underwear still on.

And in soap operas, everybody giggles during sex whenever a cuckcolded character overhears them from behind a closed door.

[SteveDave]

If Hollywood films are to be believed, the vast majority of people have sex with their underwear still on.

And the penis glides into the vagina like a hot knife through butter.

[Kane Jones]

And in soap operas, everybody giggles during sex whenever a cuckcolded character overhears them from behind a closed door.

It's called tickle sex.  Don't bother - it's shit.

And the penis glides into the vagina like a hot knife through butter.

Yeah and no fumbling fingers to guide it in.  Just 'zchooom' - straight in.

[Jemble Fred]

I read somewhere that the sharp shooting in Westerns is a fallacy. See duelling pistols, flintlock shoot outs too. The old guns did not have any such accuracy that we observed in say, Django Unchained.
Is this bollocks?

I'm not sure how this works, as it suggests that people were aiming blindly and having little chance of hitting their target for the first few hundred years of the existence of firearms. There was never a General who said "Gentlemen, we have this wonderful new invention, we simply prime this musket with gunpowder, insert some shot, and then we close our eyes and trust our luck!" A 'sharpshooter' was someone who had good aim, and they're the types who have movies made about them.

[Cerys]

I remember yelling at the TV one evening because a man is murdered by being handcuffed to the armrests of his wheelchair and pushed into a swimming pool.  The removable armrests.

[madhair60]

I remember yelling at the TV one evening because a man is murdered by being handcuffed to the armrests of his wheelchair and pushed into a swimming pool.  The removable armrests.

Maybe he was like a robot wheeling man and those were his arms, and the "arms" were prosthesises made out of wood and foam.

[checkoutgirl]

A 'sharpshooter' was someone who had good aim, and they're the types who have movies made about them.

Oh! How convenient.

[Vodka Margarine]

And the penis glides into the vagina like a hot knife through butter.

A lot of Hollywood grumble scenes start with the impassioned necking accompanied by cheesy music and then just cut straight to a few seconds' worth of gleeful romping, conveniently skipping the fiddly (yes, I said FIDDLY) stage. We very seldom see penetration, or even any suggestion of it.

I suppose there is a kind of one-thrust-and-in element to some of the raunchier scenes I've seen, come to think of it. Even then it's still tastefully obscured by clothes or a light cotton bedsheet. Right, I'm just off to the bogs now to have a bit more of a think about all this.

[checkoutgirl]

We very seldom see penetration, or even any suggestion of it.

Do we need to though ? Do we even need sex scenes in films ? I think that it's usually either padding for a director who doesn't know how to fill the running time or it's just thrown in because the producers think the audience are expecting it. I'm with Doug Stanhope on this, if you want titillation there's loads of stuff to choose from, the obligatory sex scene in films purely to titillate is out of date in the internet era. Get rid of it.

[Blumf]

I'm not sure how this works, as it suggests that people were aiming blindly and having little chance of hitting their target for the first few hundred years of the existence of firearms. There was never a General who said "Gentlemen, we have this wonderful new invention, we simply prime this musket with gunpowder, insert some shot, and then we close our eyes and trust our luck!"

That's why you'll often see old armies having a line of soldiers using volley fire (think Zulu), they often would just be told to raise their weapons rather than aim. It's similar to how large armies of archers would work (famously at Agincourt), fill the air with projectiles and let the law of averages deal with it.

Even today, where you can aim accurately over long distances with a standard rifle, there's a lot of spray-and-pray stuff, just using machine guns in place of a platoon of riflemen. Handy if you don't have time to aim/can't see the enemy clearly.

[gabrielconroy]

That's not true though, is it? Or at least not for most premiership games. Why wouldn't they record it live, or at least "as live" with no prior knowledge of what will happen? Most PL games are shown live somewhere anyway so would need a proper commentary

Apparently it just makes it a lot easier to edit. Notice that the commentary always fits very neatly into whatever clip's being shown. Also, doing it this way means they don't have to send commentators to every ground around the country.