Treating NPC's as People

[Utter Shit]

On Football Manager i like starting with fictional players as I can then draw a picture of them in my head. I have an Argentine striker Marcelo Torres who nearly always picks up a second yellow once he's been booked. I have given him many imaginary tellings off. It's great.

Scott Parker is like that for me. If he gets a yellow card before it reaches 60 minutes or so, I just take him off straight away as he's more likely than not to get himself sent off.

I bought your man Hatem Ben Arfa for my Spurs team once, it was like unlocking a special extra difficult setting, like the heart levels on Tetris or tofu mode on Resident Evil 2. It basically changed from Football Manager to Hatem Ben Arfa Manager, he was mad as a box of frogs. He submitted a transfer request within a week of signing after I subbed him in the last five minutes of a warm-up match. Great fun.

[Rolf Lundgren]

Nowadays on GTA IV I rarely kill members of the public, often just a quick punch will satisfy my bloodlust, like cuffing a boy around the ear in Victorian times I'm happy that the rude chap has learnt his lesson and will go away and have a good think before insulting anyone again.

My brother took his pacifism to extreme lengths on San Andreas when at one point he had literally no money left, which isn't that easy to do, and found himself stuck trying to get ammo. I asked him if he wanted quick money why he didn't just start beating up people on the street and stealing theirs. The thought had never occurred to him.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

While replaying Arkham Asylum recently, I tried to get flawless victory whenever I got into a punchup. So if a baddy managed to score a hit and spoil my combo, I made sure to exact particularly brutal revenge on them, Adam West style.

[Unoriginal]

I was one of those dickheads who tried to abide, to an extent, to traffic laws on GTA. However, when I realised that nobody else seemed to respect them, I couldn't do it. Instead, I made a big effort not to knock pedestrians down. Easier said than done.

[Rolf Lundgren]

I was one of those dickheads who tried to abide, to an extent, to traffic laws on GTA. However, when I realised that nobody else seemed to respect them, I couldn't do it. Instead, I made a big effort not to knock pedestrians down. Easier said than done.

Same here. I stopped at about two red lights before thinking what's the point.

[Thomas]

I always got very anxious about the welfare of characters in Creatures 3. I occasionally get the GTA thing. And in Red Dead Redemption, too.[nb]the only two recent games I've played. I didn't know what a PS3 looked like until last week.[/nb] I bloody well care about the village dogs, you know.

I wonder how the anti-game Bill O'Reillies would spin this kind of thing.

[mook]

seeing as red dead redemption has been mentioned again. remember that side mission where you have to get a whole bunch of stuff from all over the map to help the guy make his flying machine? well when i finally gave him the stuff instead of him flying like an eagle into the distance the dipshit just plummeted to the canyon floor, i just lost my shit, shot my horse, whistled for a new one shot that, got another and then went and fucked up everyone's day in armadillo. especially herbert fucking moon's. if i ever get around to playing that game again i going to shoot that aviator right in the face the first chance i get.

[Mister Six]

seeing as red dead redemption has been mentioned again. remember that side mission where you have to get a whole bunch of stuff from all over the map to help the guy make his flying machine? well when i finally gave him the stuff instead of him flying like an eagle into the distance the dipshit just plummeted to the canyon floor, i just lost my shit, shot my horse, whistled for a new one shot that, got another and then went and fucked up everyone's day in armadillo. especially herbert fucking moon's. if i ever get around to playing that game again i going to shoot that aviator right in the face the first chance i get.

By that point in the game I'd become so used to the 'hilarious' downbeat endings that I just didn't bother. He was still stood there years later when my son rode up on his horse. Lazy cunt. I wish he had died.

[Steve Lampkins]

I was one of those dickheads who tried to abide, to an extent, to traffic laws on GTA.

Before my four-year-old goes to bed, GTAIV turns into Crazy Sensible Taxi. And he gets upset if I run a red light.


Old, but animal crossing:
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2007/11/animalcrossing.jpg

Spoiler alert

There is apparently an NPC called 'mom' who sends you letters?

[close]

[Cerys]

Ah, GTA 3.  The joy of finding a vantage point and sniping at all the people dressed in red and white jackets.  If you time it right, you end up with a pile of the bastards.

[hoverdonkey]

Following on from the Football Manager posts, I'd add that in any sport game, I form unnatural bonds of loyalty with sprites on the screen. I spend hours agonising over a proposed trade on NHL because I just love the newgen rookie that I drafted and feel I owe it to him to keep him at the Blackhawks.

This is all related to the Football Manager imaginary press conferences/Soccer Saturday analysis undertaken while in the shower.

[VegaLA]

Before my four-year-old goes to bed, GTAIV turns into Crazy Sensible Taxi. And he gets upset if I run a red light.

Thats aweome. My boy watched me playing Sleeping Dogs the other week so I had to play sensible till he went to bed. Decided to health up with the beverages and he got quite miffed when Wei threw the empty soda can on the floor. I then spent the next 5 minutes doing nothing but to his disgust.

[Cerys]

Whereas Bethan is highly amused when I sneak into a cave and shoot sleeping bandits in the arse.  I don't do Dark Brotherhood missions while she's around, though.

[Nobody Soup]

On Football Manager i like starting with fictional players as I can then draw a picture of them in my head. I have an Argentine striker Marcelo Torres who nearly always picks up a second yellow once he's been booked. I have given him many imaginary tellings off. It's great.

I tended to imagine what they looked like in my mind, before they had that little picture thing, in some cases with unknown but existing players this created a bit of a jolt when I learned the reality.

I was marseille in one old game, bought a young guy named djibril cisse, as you can imagine, I was a long fucking way off. for a start I'd spent 6 months imagining him as white.

[turnstyle]

There's a bit in the original Deus Ex where you can trade a chocolate bar with a child for information.  I gave him the chocolate bar, got the info, then drew my knife and stabbed him.  He died immediately and I was instantly filled with a lurching horror.  You can kill children in this game!? 

You're a monster!

Also, if you don't kill him he'll give you the code for the secret door behind the vending machine.

Then you can kill him.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I've been red carded a couple of times on Fifa because I got annoyed with an opposition player who kept scoring so as soon as the whistle blows I do a nasty slide tackle on them. Similarly, playing baseball games if a batter keeps getting home runs against me I'll sometimes hit him in the head with the ball next time he's at bat.

[imitationleather]

My flatmate got his Swindon Town team to the League Cup final (no cheats) and called me in to his room to watch it one Saturday morning.  He was wearing an especially bought charity shop suit, resplendent with flower, and had a bottle of champagne (Lambrini) on ice (no ice, and in a mop bucket) ready for the full time whistle.

This is amazing. I wish I'd lived with you two when my playing was at similarly obsessive levels.

When I managed Bury for years and years (taking them to the Premiership and UEFA Cup in the process, I might add!) I used to come up with a fake official club magazine as each month passed in game time. Just the headlines, not the articles. I'm not that sad! I'd also have a different player profile and interview, and once I'd been playing long enough I'd have a nostalgia article in each issue covering what the club had been up to ten years previously.

Wow, I think those days were the happiest I have ever been. Around the same time I wrote a (terrible, obviously) script for a short film that was a parody of The Damned United and Six Days to Saturday about an FM player building up to his team playing in the FA Cup final. Admitting all this feels strangely liberating.

I'm almost tempted to jeopardise my degree again and get back in to FM08 in a big way...

[Famous Mortimer]

You know what, imitationleather, you'd expect people to say that's a crazy idea. But I reckon go for it.

[WesterlyWinds]

Go for it and post a weekly CAB FM blog to keep us up to date with how your chosen team are doing.

[castro diaz]

I once walked in on my brother playing Sega Bass fishing on the Dreamcast and his feet were in a washing up bowl filled with water.  I admire thoroughness.

Oh, and all this champ man talk has reminded me of a great article which I aggressively suggest you all read.  Funny and oddly moving, this guy charts the historic rise of a provincial Italian football team who used to be one of the greats 80 years ago.  A really good read for anyone even remotely interested in football/videogames/football videogames.

http://www.runofplay.com/category/vercelli/

[Custard]

This thread has really had me hooting. Someone please start a Championship/Football Manager thread. Could be dynamite

Anyone read this?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Football-Manager-Stole-Life-Beautiful/dp/0956497179/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1364255198&sr=8-10

Meant to be decent

[Utter Shit]

Yeah I got it for Christmas, pretty disappointing to be honest...it felt more like an advert for the game than anything else. The interview with the Collyers about the origins of the game is interesting, but I don't really care about how Tonton Zola Moukoko feels about his Champo fame.

[Uncle TechTip]

This is amazing. I wish I'd lived with you two when my playing was at similarly obsessive levels.

When I managed Bury for years and years (taking them to the Premiership and UEFA Cup in the process, I might add!) I used to come up with a fake official club magazine as each month passed in game time. Just the headlines, not the articles. I'm not that sad! I'd also have a different player profile and interview, and once I'd been playing long enough I'd have a nostalgia article in each issue covering what the club had been up to ten years previously.

There's something about boys and creating alternate sporting universes, all noted down and analysed. I could mention three or four Spectrum games where I did this, but the biggest project was probably running an entire FA Cup from the third round onwards via the medium of Emlyn Hughes International Soccer.

This would involve choosing five teams which I would play as, with the computer representing the rest. I'd do a draw, play the game then note down the result. But it didn't stop there. For the Spectrum v Spectrum games I'd still pitch the computer against itself and meticulously record the result afterwards. On and on for sixty-three exciting games. I always used England & Holland to represent the two sides (the default match when you first loaded) but would set the players' skill levels to match their league position. Actually it's rather ingenious when I think about it. Sorry it's a different thread.

[Old Nehamkin]

Did everyone do the thing where you'd get bored playing The Sims and trap your guy in a 1-square room without a door forcing them to piss and shit themselves and eventually die? Or alternatively, put them in a swimming pool but remove the ladder, causing them to drown? I loved The Sims.

[KLG-7C]

Similarly, playing baseball games if a batter keeps getting home runs against me I'll sometimes hit him in the head with the ball next time he's at bat.

Why am I finding this so funny?

[Hangthebuggers]

Did everyone do the thing where you'd get bored playing The Sims and trap your guy in a 1-square room without a door forcing them to piss and shit themselves and eventually die? Or alternatively, put them in a swimming pool but remove the ladder, causing them to drown? I loved The Sims.

Indoor fireworks usually did the trick.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Mine would inevitably set the house on fire by themselves, usually at least one fatality.

There was a particularly morbid event in my 3rd crack at the Sims 2, I payed the haunted house (Morticia and Gomez-types) when the mother and son died in a faulty dishwasher fire the over-worked. grieving husband increasingly abandoned his surviving daughter and wallowed by his wife's grave until he carked it and finally Child Services came a'knockin to nab the kid.

Grand.

[Big Jack McBastard]

First hit = Haymaker as he trots up then ruthlessly attacking one quadrant of the face of those headbutting, knee-to-the-bollocks 'Rival' opponents in Fight Night Round 3 every time you clash, just to inflict the worst possible swelling and bloodloss and leave him with the same injuries as last time.

They're like his medals for being a little bitch and getting the same beating all over again.

[Cerys]

Bump

I have been murdering NPCs in Skyrim.  Last night I made it to the five hundred mark.  There's something very satisfying about walking into a city and have it utterly empty and silent apart from orphaned children and the occasional guard.  Next stop - Wabbajacking essential characters into sweetrolls and eating the immortal fuckers. 

[Kryton]

My go-to stress reliever is killing everyone in the bank level in Hitman 2.