Harry Fucking Potter

[Thomas]

I thought that character was the best and most interesting aspect of the films. Rickman stole the show for me.

I think I agree.

I was also 'appy that they got time travel 'right'[nb]or metaphysically coherent, if you're a time travel pedant like me.[/nb] in The Prisoner of Azkaban, which is my favourite of the series. Very far from perfect, though, of course. Some of the lines, the delivery, and the basic ideas are hilarious, especially when they occur between the three main characters. The final exchange of The Goblet of Fire[nb]why wouldn't Dumbledore step in and say 'right, sorry, I know it's tradition, but Harry can't do this'? We see in the last story that Harry's survival is what will save the world, basically, and it was Dumbeldore's plan all along. I do not understand why Dumb' would let that life-threatening tournament happen. It probably doesn't matter though, really.[/nb] is brilliantly awkward, if I remember rightly.

The worst thing about Harry Potter is the torrent of rubbish Harry Potter jokes that it spawned for people like Russell Howard.

[Ginyard]

....and broomsticks. Nobody should sit astride a horizontal piece of cylindrical wood for more than a minute. Everything can fly in Potter world, so why not play quidditch on Aeron chairs or something equally comfortable and good for your posture? I still quite enjoy the films though, except The Order of Phoenix which is a stilted load of unmagical dragon shit.

[Catalogue Trousers]

It's rare that a rip-off is more enjoyable than the original, but frankly UBOS is rather more fun than Potter. At least UBOS has a bangin' electro-jazz theme tune. Not enough of those about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NPd7JJdQQg

[Pube]

I was about 13 when The Philosopher's Stone slid down the bowl of culture and plopped into the waters of children's literature, so I was too old for it. I did read the Discworld series as a kiddywink, which is in a similiar sort of area, you could say, but more humourous. At least Discworld works as a stepping-stone to more adult humour, whereas Harry Potter seems to be about serving up sanitised kiddy stuff. I watched a little bit of the first film and thought it seemed like what a commercial for a boarding school would be like. Studious little poshos excelling at a supernatural level. You can see why parents approve, because the message is that education can make you a wizard of sorts.

I gave it a big thumbs down. Kids shouldn't be reading stuff that glorifies school and pleases their parents.

[Noodle Lizard]

"Watch out!  It's the Death-Eaters!"

[Noodle Lizard]

I watched a little bit of the first film and thought it seemed like what a commercial for a boarding school would be like. Studious little poshos excelling at a supernatural level.

They have a black kid somewhere in there too.

[Blumf]

They have a black kid somewhere in there too.

Dobby?

[Pube]

I just don't understand the appeal for children. Not at all.

I've got this idea for a children's story, right. The protagonist is a bespectacled, bookish nerd, and he really looks like one. Now this guy goes to this school where all the teachers are superhuman. The teachers are the coolest characters, because kids like teachers. And the kids play this game called Quidditch. The boy is a trainee wizard but he flies a broomstick like a witch in Quidditch, because young boys relish the chance to switch gender roles. It gives them a lot of status with their peers.

I don't have any children but I forbid my future child to read Harry Potter. I forbid it!

[Old Nehamkin]

Harry Potter is a pretty mediocre student, though. He only really excels academically in one subject and pretty much manages to scrape passing grades in the others. He's not particularly bookish either. And several of the teachers are dicks/ incompetent.

[Pube]

As someone who hasn't watched the films or read the books, I should be allowed to rant, rave, and make sweeping generalisations without people coming along and pestering me with facts. Thanks.

[Noodle Lizard]

I've got this idea for a children's story, right. The protagonist is a bespectacled, bookish nerd, and he really looks like one. Now this guy goes to this school where all the teachers are superhuman.

And despite being able to fix his glasses with the flick of a wand, nobody can cure his poor eyesight.

[Big Jack McBastard]

I accidentally caught about 20 minutes of one of them when it was on telly a couple of years ago, I gave it a reasonable chance to grip me, it did not manage the task. Dull and hammy were my abiding thoughts.

[BritishHobo]

I was about 13 when The Philosopher's Stone slid down the bowl of culture and plopped into the waters of children's literature, so I was too old for it. I did read the Discworld series as a kiddywink, which is in a similiar sort of area, you could say, but more humourous. At least Discworld works as a stepping-stone to more adult humour, whereas Harry Potter seems to be about serving up sanitised kiddy stuff. I watched a little bit of the first film and thought it seemed like what a commercial for a boarding school would be like. Studious little poshos excelling at a supernatural level. You can see why parents approve, because the message is that education can make you a wizard of sorts.

I gave it a big thumbs down. Kids shouldn't be reading stuff that glorifies school and pleases their parents.

I don't know, the early books made a big deal of how the two guys could never be arsed to do their tedious homework, and how little the cared about exams, while Hermione was the 'swot', like that really camp kid out of the Beano.

[Pube]

Nah. Harry Potter is one of the most goody-two-shoes pansy stories out there. There might be a bit of dissent, but ultimately Harry is all about Hogwarts. He loves school, and he fights for his school.

But that's not even what annoys me. I'll tell you what pisses me off about this.

The whole thing about it encouraging literacy. They can fuck off with that. How is it encouraging literacy if every book becomes a film? It's like saying that Twilight encourages literacy. Reading shitty books is no better than reading tabloids or Dan Brown novels, so there's no educational angle there.

This series is really about parent fantasies, and the children who want to fulfil them. The pupil who becomes an ally of the school, who has the high-achieving girlfriend and the bumbling idiot friend who makes him look better by contrast.

Not my idea of fun.

[vrailaine]

I dunno, the books sold pretty well and helped a lot kids (incluing me) give books a second chance after shit like goosebumps being their only other access point had ran them off. On about the kind of kid whose parents weren't spoon feeding them stuff here, most kids.

You had Roald Dahl until a certain age and then you were left in a wilderness of serialised bullshit. With no real idea which would suit you, if any. Was incredibly offputting

[Noodle Lizard]

shit like goosebumps

Bite your tongue, cunt!  'Goosebumps' was incredible.

[Old Nehamkin]

Nah. Harry Potter is one of the most goody-two-shoes pansy stories out there. There might be a bit of dissent, but ultimately Harry is all about Hogwarts. He loves school, and he fights for his school.

Well, he loves being at Hogwarts because he's spent the first eleven years of his life living in a cupboard and being bullied by his arsehole relatives, but he's hardly a model student- he breaks school rules every book and nearly gets expelled a bunch of times. And the whole fifth book is about the students rebelling against the shitty new administration, plus in the last one he ends up knocking school on the head and skipping his last year.

This series is really about parent fantasies, and the children who want to fulfil them. The pupil who becomes an ally of the school, who has the high-achieving girlfriend and the bumbling idiot friend who makes him look better by contrast.

He's better at being a wizard than Ron because if he wasn't he wouldn't be the hero, but intellectually/ academically they're pretty much on the same level. And Hermione's not his girlfriend, cuh.

Stop getting Harry Potter slightly wrong!

[Santa's Boyfriend]

The whole thing about it encouraging literacy. They can fuck off with that. How is it encouraging literacy if every book becomes a film? It's like saying that Twilight encourages literacy. Reading shitty books is no better than reading tabloids or Dan Brown novels, so there's no educational angle there.

What does it matter if there's no educational angle?  What does it matter if you think the books are shit?  They're still encouraging kids to read by kids reading them, enjoying them and telling other kids to read them.  That's really not a bad thing.  There's a pretty good chance that once they've finished them they'll want to read something else, too.  If you throw a Shakespeare play at a kid as his first reading experience there's a good chance you'll put him off reading for life.  Give him something that's light and accessible but enjoyable and compelling, and there's a good chance they'll want to read more.  It doesn't matter if it's not the pinnacle of literature.

Yes, each book becomes a film.  But it's not either/or.

[checkoutgirl]

Hardly an original thought but it always annoyed me that nobody uses mobile phones in Harry Potter films (when it would clearly be more convenient to do so), despite it being set in present times. Anyone got a mobile phone so I can warn Greystash of the impending danger and save the world ? No. What about an invisibility cloak ? No problem, just got mine back from the dry cleaners.

Fucking bullshit.

[Milo]

In one series of books they had magic usage having the habit of completely frying electronics - they could have gone with something like that.

[BlodwynPig]

It was a phenomenon driven by PR and the media, tapping into a collective yearning to be accepted. If you hated the concept of Potter and its fandom then you were shunned. I was even beaten senseless and spat on by a group of 11 year olds for dismissing the first book when it was published. My shack was burned down by some students in their early 20s after scoffing at the follow-up books and then my dog was drowned by some middle-aged cunts when I boycotted the films.

I now have a Harry Potter t-shirt that I wear at all times, but it seems no-one cares anymore and they just laugh at me.

[Nuclear Optimism]

JK Rowling is apparently a supporter of the British Weights and Measures Association. You know, the Metric Martyrs and assorted backward loonies. The awful design of their website says it all.

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

When CiTV had that 'Retro Weekend' a couple of months back I watched the first episode of The Worst Witch, and realised that the broomstick lessons scene from the first episode had pretty much been copied verbatim. The effects were about the same standard as well. Christ, the first film was twelve years ago. How does time?

[Gulftastic]

Hardly an original thought but it always annoyed me that nobody uses mobile phones in Harry Potter films (when it would clearly be more convenient to do so), despite it being set in present times. Anyone got a mobile phone so I can warn Greystash of the impending danger and save the world ? No. What about an invisibility cloak ? No problem, just got mine back from the dry cleaners.

Fucking bullshit.

According to the Harry Potter wiki, the first book is set in 1991-2, so mobiles weren't really part of the wider culture then. The last is set in 1998, so they'd just be really starting to become a must own by then.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

It does get mentioned in the book at some point, not with mobiles but with computers or something else.  It basically says that residual effects of magic in the area of Hogwarts means that electronic equipment doesn't work there with any degree of reliability, and they've got magical equivalents for everything anyway.  It also says that "muggles" (which sounds a heck of a lot like a racial slur to me) can't walk anywhere near Hogwarts due to spells being placed there that make people walk around it.  It's actually quite well thought through, Rowling made a point of creating a magical world that had some sense of practicality to it.  One of the nice details is the criticism that because magic is so prevalent in their lives, they essentially don't innovate or advance that much - meaning the muggle world is a bit of a mystery to them.

[Old Nehamkin]

JK Rowling is apparently a supporter of the British Weights and Measures Association. You know, the Metric Martyrs and assorted backward loonies. The awful design of their website says it all.

She's history's greatest monster!

[castro diaz]

I had to read them in work when they came out whenever it was.  For what it's worth I think it's a consistent world she's created, a nice entry level allegory for power corrupting and it's not her fault those posh kids can't act.  She's gone from skint to richer than the queen, so fair enough.

I'd advise skipping the following if you're not au fait with the Harry Potter universe as the pay-off might not make sense.

So I was living in a tee-pee on the east coast of Australia for a bit, right?  It was some kind of polystyrene approximation of what a commune might have looked like decades ago and its prostitution of hippy-chic whilst charging quite a lot to stay there was pissing me off.  It insisted upon itself.  Anyway, it was quite large this tent, with a fire in the middle, and I shared it with about 5 other wastrels.  There was a rotation policy so there'd often be new people arriving, and one day I got chatting with some new ones, what I presumed where a couple from the Midlands.  It later transpired that they were step-brother and sister, who had started living together at around the age of ten, but there was a definite sexual chemistry between them and I think they may have been on the run from the law.  I'm pretty sure this has also been a plot in Hollyoakes.  Anyway, they were alright and we had a drink most nights and a chat.  Aside from talking about sex, too much and in front of each other, they also mentioned an older brother, and this is where that speccy posh wizard comes in.

He was a bit older than them, approaching the death of his twenties, and was a bit of a hard bastard by all accounts.  Skinhead, bouncer and the most dangerous euphemism of all, he 'didn't suffer fools gladly'.  He was also a Harry Potter fanatic.  He used to read the books in public all the time, not even disguising his hobby with the adult sleeve jacket or a putting the Prisoner of Azkaban inside a copy of Hustler or anything.  Proud of it he was, and would almost flaunt the fact on public transport daring some oik to take the piss out of him so he could defend the canon.  He used to work the door on a lot of big clubs in Birmingham, and would read the latest magical goings-on if it was a quiet, rainy night.

Anyway, it's the day of the final book's publication.  There's a midnight opening at Waterstones in the city centre and he's told his boss he's not working because of this.  He boss and the fellow meat-head doormen take the piss but he's insistent and unabashed.  He says he'll pick up and copy at 12 and go back to work.  So he's standing there in the queue right, freezing cold at midnight in some godforsaken urban sprawl, surrounded by pushy mothers of spoilt kids who can't wait 8 fucking hours and children lucky enough to be allowed to stay up late especially and go to the launch itself.  They were dressed as their favourite characters and were, understandably, going mental.  Running around, chanting incantations and generally being giddy pricks.  Along with a hardnut with an earpiece who's been on remand.  Anyway, it's approaching midnight and the excitement is palpable.  The final book in the series is minutes away from being released.  It'll be the end of an almost life-long journey for some of these kids who've grown up with the characters.    Unfortunately this is also the time where they throw drunks out of British pubs.  One stumbles out of a pub and is surprised to see small wizards with high pitched voices mucking about and he starts shouting generic abuse at them, as we all would.  He gets closer and despite the collective frosty glare of the mums he works out what they're standing there for and decides to scar some innocent psyches by revealing the end of the book.  The bastard.

'You know the boss wizard, Dumbledore, you know he dies, kids!' he roars before laughing a lonely bitter laugh and walking off into the night to boos and hisses like the pantomime villain he clearly wanted to be.
'Yeah, Dumbledore dies.  Dies Dies Dies!' shouts a second drunk, who was only lurking behind the first until a sudden gust of courage.  They're not speaking to anyone in particular.  Just the night air.  And some Harry potter enthusiasts.  Anyway, as you can imagine kids start crying and the mums start shouting at the drunks and it's all a bit of a chaotic mess.  They've invested a decade in these characters, spending a lifetime to find out what happens to them and its all ruined by some embittered twat with 5 minutes left on the clock.  Our bouncer was listening to the whole exchange, silently fuming.  His temple throbbing, he was struggling to control himself and not get in any further trouble with John Law.  He's pushed to the limit when a nearby tramp, overhearing the commotion, decides the situation needs a vagrant firework, and that although he doesn't know what a Harry Potter is and hasn't even listened to the audiobook with that Nice Stephen Fry, he wants to upset the rest of the children who escaped the spoilery hurt.  And who can blame him.  So this tramp stands up, walks up and down the length of the queue garnering its full attention and says 'Kids, Kids!  Kids, you know what happens at the end?  Dumbledore...'

'Expeliarmus!' shouts a small boy wearing a cape and glasses, twisting around revealing a wand and thrusting it towards the tramp.  The boy was standing just a few feet away from the bouncer, he v=had overheard the whole thing and didn't want anyone else to have their moment spoiled by inconsiderate muggles.  The tramp, a bit pissed and probably confused by the costume, stood stock still and dumbfounded, whilst the entire queue cheered and the tramp walked off into the sunset (bus shelter).  They opened the doors to the bookshops and everyone ran in, happier.

[Nuclear Optimism]

She's history's greatest monster!

Well yeah, but it's still an oddly shit thing to go out of your way to support. What's wrong with a bit of metric?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Well, yes I agree. The Sorting Hat is a dreadful concept, both for cynical adults and impressionable children - people are not black or white, good or bad. But like the Nuremberg Laws, the SH is able to pigeonhole humanity into one group of good, one of evil and two of token boring dipshits.

At the risk of boring you with the response, there are four different houses and even the more bad one wasnt all bad, many of them stayed to defend Hogwarts
As for Harry Potter, its fun excusable shite. Many of the arguments made are
irrelevant as there are not many alternatives full stop. It's a better use of time than going to see Twilight.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

JK Rowling is apparently a supporter of the British Weights and Measures Association. You know, the Metric Martyrs and assorted backward loonies. The awful design of their website says it all.

On the other hand she is part of the five percent of the coubtries hundred richest people who pay full incone tax in this country, so I'll forgive her misguided ruritanialism.