Author Topic: Inept film posters  (Read 55233 times)

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #120 on: December 14, 2013, 01:58:00 PM »
This isn't an inept film poster as such, but more a case of bad positioning, as every morning I have to change at Piccadilly Circus from the Bakerloo Line to the Piccadilly Line, and I was walk down the stairs I'm greeted by this:



It's worth visiting Piccadilly Circus for that alone!

Ooh, Reg Kinnear. I like him.

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #121 on: December 20, 2013, 10:04:27 AM »
Bloodsport 2:



Bloodsport 3:



Bloodsport 4:



Now, don't get me wrong, I'm as big a fan of that pose as you're going to find. It's just...maybe change it up a little?

mothman

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #122 on: December 21, 2013, 03:29:26 PM »
A "Kumite" sounds like something you'd expect to see in a Doctor Who porn parody. I'm probably pronouncing it wrong.

Big Jack McBastard

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #123 on: December 22, 2013, 05:43:08 PM »
I believe it's 'Kuma-tay', kind of like how Pootie Tang spoke.


Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #124 on: December 23, 2013, 10:08:48 AM »
Seriously you guys, could you not have tried a little harder to make it look like Craig Robinson is actually buried in the sand?



Although maybe they're relying on scenes like this distracting people:


Santa's Boyfriend

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #125 on: December 23, 2013, 10:18:50 AM »
A "Kumite" sounds like something you'd expect to see in a Doctor Who porn parody. I'm probably pronouncing it wrong.

/ku:ˈməteɪ/

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #126 on: December 27, 2013, 03:09:22 PM »
Let's play "find a film poster that will never, ever be used again":


Big Jack McBastard

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #127 on: December 28, 2013, 01:29:13 AM »
Already posted elsewhere:


One glance and we know this is bilge, the concept, talent and tagline are toss.

Nothing there is real, every element and layer is so cartoony it almost hurts to look at.

I think what annoys me most is the expressions on the other people in the bus, the curly headed little smarmy shit (obviously the twerp trying to bang the daughter) doing a simp grin and some silly mare having an apparently hilarious chat with Kryten behind him, seconds after some giant nutter punched their bus to a halt.



Would you be sat there with that look on your face?

WOULD YOU!?!!

Fuckssakes.

Big Jack McBastard

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #128 on: December 28, 2013, 02:06:52 AM »
What's wrong with their faces?



Top right looks like Gollum found the wig bin.

mothman

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #129 on: December 28, 2013, 12:14:51 PM »
Bottom left looks like a CGI version of Piers Morgan.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #130 on: December 28, 2013, 12:43:04 PM »
Bottom right looks like Alfie's cast-off in Eastenders

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #131 on: December 28, 2013, 01:09:13 PM »
Looking at it again, the two women are the same, aren't they? Just different hair.

Big Jack McBastard

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #132 on: December 28, 2013, 08:47:28 PM »
Ah I have a theory now, Hollywood poster.DVD cover makers can't justify their jobs at this point unless they're changing everything. If they took a great shot of the crew on location and whacked that on the cover then where would the Photoshop Poster Guy be?

Up shit creek is where.

So they slice an dice faces with bodies and blur and bloom and cut and paste in a frenzy, layer upon mask, shadow and gradient, clone and air-brush until they've made such a meal of it that no-one could replicate quite the same level of 'other' that pervades it.

All the elements are 'there', but they're not..

Are they making them like this to disconcert us? Put us off balance and make us look more closely at them just because they're so bloody weird to the eye?
« Last Edit: December 28, 2013, 09:02:05 PM by Big Jack McBastard »

Onken

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #133 on: January 02, 2014, 07:57:29 PM »


I watched Castaway on The Moon yesterday morning not knowing anything about it and was blown away by how brilliant it was. The DVD's available have terrible artwork that would have put me off ever going near it. I'd feel embarrassed and in need issuing strong reassurance's of it's quality before handing either out to people with my recommendation attached.



It has a nice blu-ray release in Good Korea but most people haven't caught up with that medium yet. If you haven't heard of it, don't watch the trailer just go download it. It's a very touching comedy about a failed suicide attempt and was the most perfect film I could have chosen to put on for the occasion.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #134 on: January 12, 2014, 12:57:21 AM »


"Based on a true story" about a photoshopped Nicolas Cage befriending a tiny helicopter.

SteveDave

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #135 on: January 13, 2014, 10:16:02 PM »
The one on the underground at the moment for Osidge, Something County has Benedict Cummerbund poking his shark-like face out to the left of Meryl Streep. It doesn't look right.

mcbpete

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #136 on: January 14, 2014, 11:41:39 AM »
This one annoys me every time I walk past it on my way to work. And it features a common issue -



Why ... why don't they put it so the names match the people underneath. If they're going for the most famous person on the poster listed first then why not put the picture of that person in the same place as they're clearly photoshops from different shoots.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #137 on: January 14, 2014, 11:49:41 AM »
What are you talking about, the names match up fine. Bradley Cooper has nice tits doesn't she?

[Spoiler]Alternative, meme cut: Jennifer Lawrence has let himself go.[/Spoiler]

stunted

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #138 on: January 14, 2014, 11:56:34 AM »
They've missed out Steve Earle's name completely.

Wet Blanket

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #139 on: January 14, 2014, 01:03:44 PM »
Why ... why don't they put it so the names match the people underneath. If they're going for the most famous person on the poster listed first then why not put the picture of that person in the same place as they're clearly photoshops from different shoots.

Where you go on the billing is subject to all sorts of contract negotiations - it'll be in Jeremy Renner's contract that he gets third billing over Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence, even though he's a minor character by comparison, and Lawrence herself will have bargained for that 'and'.

The images meanwhile are more reflective of the characters' relative status in the film - you couldn't have Renner in the middle when Bale's is the main protagonist.

It sounds silly but it really can be a deal breaker. A famous example is the Towering Inferno poster, where the only way to placate both Paul Newman's and Steve McQueens egos was to give Steve McQueen first billing on the poster but place Newman's name higher up.


mcbpete

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #140 on: January 14, 2014, 01:53:31 PM »
Didn't they also have the same amount of lines - or is that an urban myth ?

Cleaners From Venus

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #141 on: January 14, 2014, 01:57:45 PM »
Didn't they also have the same amount of lines - or is that an urban myth ?
Yep, that's right and they were paid exactly the same as each other.

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #142 on: January 14, 2014, 02:58:13 PM »
Okay, not a film poster at all, but the front cover of the new Radio Times is pretty funny. I reckon the baby was crying his eyes out the entire time and that, looking like he’s taking a big shit, is the only usable photo they got from the session. Miranda Hart’s overbite is just an added plus.

zomgmouse

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #143 on: January 14, 2014, 10:08:55 PM »
I notice on the American Hustle one they've credited Christian Bale instead of Matthew Holness. What a mistake!

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #144 on: January 30, 2014, 12:45:40 AM »
Not entirely relevant to this thread, but first image from the new Ninja Turtles film from Michael Bay is getting a lot of flak because they appear to have lips


eluc55

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #145 on: January 30, 2014, 12:50:07 AM »
Nice to see Danny DeVito playing Leonardo in this one.

Thomas

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #146 on: January 30, 2014, 12:53:07 AM »
what the hell is going on there

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #147 on: January 30, 2014, 07:13:39 AM »
Are Eastman and Laird anything to do with this one?

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #148 on: January 30, 2014, 12:08:12 PM »
Are Eastman and Laird anything to do with this one?

Fuck, no. It's another Michael Bay-produced atrocity that he's been threatening to dump on the world for the last few years, which sounds like it's probably going to have the most tenuous possible connection to the original concept(at one point Bay was talking about having them be aliens rather than turtles(?), but seems to've gone back on that now). I believe Eastman & Laird both sold off their individual stake in the franchise some time ago, so they're well out of this.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #149 on: January 30, 2014, 12:23:16 PM »
If ever the tiresome phrase "What is point" should be used, it is with that fucking news.