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Inept film posters

Started by Nuclear Optimism, April 09, 2013, 03:33:42 PM

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Ferris

Quote from: thraxx on January 05, 2019, 06:15:08 PM
An Apache doesn't even have wings. It's a helicopter. Those little stubby things are weapons pylons. It should have been called blades of the apache.

They've had to put all the Apache AH-64 attack helicopters *exactly* front-on (including a silhouette of one right in the actual title text), to hammer home the point that the stubby sponsors that cradle the auto-cannons are "wings" because look, ahh do you not see, wings, ahhhh.

It was renamed "Fire Birds" for US (?) distribution, so presumably common sense crashed their party shortly after initial release.


St_Eddie

Quote from: olliebean on January 05, 2019, 05:51:58 PM
Fuckin' misogynist.

Fucking chromosomes have ruined me, yet again!

batwings

Quote from: thraxx on January 05, 2019, 06:15:08 PM
An Apache doesn't even have wings. It's a helicopter. Those little stubby things are weapons pylons. It should have been called blades of the apache.

Well, technically a helicopter's blades are wings, hence the term rotary wing aircraft. I doubt the producers had that in mind though.


cliggg

This film poster is just funny. No one involved in making this poster gives a shit about the film it's for.


Phil_A

Quote from: cliggg on February 10, 2019, 08:30:21 PM
This film poster is just funny. No one involved in making this poster gives a shit about the film it's for.



Nice to see Elbow's Guy Garvey getting some acting work.

BlodwynPig


Dex Sawash


Never heard of Ryan Guzman

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Dex Sawash on February 10, 2019, 09:11:13 PM
Never heard of Ryan Guzman

Ratio of Guzman to Modine to Stallone in film

99:0.9:0.1

Bazooka

Quote from: cliggg on February 10, 2019, 08:30:21 PM
This film poster is just funny. No one involved in making this poster gives a shit about the film it's for.



Music composed by Tom Jones more like.

BlodwynPig


mothman

Quote from: cliggg on February 10, 2019, 08:30:21 PM
This film poster is just funny. No one involved in making this poster gives a shit about the film it's for.



Jay Leno gets his face but not his name on the poster?

samadriel


Bazooka

Quote from: mothman on February 10, 2019, 11:55:18 PM
Jay Leno gets his face but not his name on the poster?

Brilliant. Stallone has clearly been told about the films existence for the first time.

Driving along with your mates, playing some tunes, "what's this one?"
"Backtrace original motion picture soundtrack, let's give it a whirl"

"Didn't they make a film based on this?"

cliggg

The Bombing - Watch Bruce Willis look constipated... in a WAR ZONE!!!!


St_Eddie

Adrien Brody there, looking peeved at the guy just out of shot, smoking and inconsiderably flicking embers in his and Willis' direction.

Enrico Palazzo

Adrian Brody and Bruce Willis must be due a film also starring John Cusack.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: St_Eddie on March 26, 2019, 11:29:39 AM
Adrien Brody there, looking peeved at the guy just out of shot, smoking and inconsiderably flicking embers in his and Willis' direction.

"Can we get a minute? Bumming here"

AliasTheCat


mothman

Quote from: Dex Sawash on March 26, 2019, 11:39:47 AM
"Can we get a minute? Bumming here"

There's definitely a reach-around happening, and neither of them are happy with its execution.

Icehaven

Quote from: cliggg on March 26, 2019, 10:37:31 AM
The Bombing - Watch Bruce Willis look constipated... in a WAR ZONE!!!!



If you cut it so they aren't there it's much better. This is also probably true of the film.

buzby

Quote from: cliggg on March 26, 2019, 10:37:31 AM
The Bombing - Watch Bruce Willis look constipated... in a WAR ZONE!!!!


Everything about that poster is wrong. It's presumably based on the Bombing of Chongqing by the Japanese, which started in 1938 (the film is apparently set in 1940, but the opening of the film shows the first raid happening in 1937). The planes on the poster are Vought F4U Corsairs, which were only released to squadron service in 1942 (in the film the American Volunteer Group pilots in the CAF are shown flying the Curtiss P40 Warhawk, which is correct for the period).

Willis' character is loosely based on General Claire Lee Chennault, the commander of the AVG. He never had a beard, and it was against the USAAF regulations to grow one.

It changed title to Air Strike for the US market, but the posteer isn't much better:

Enrico Palazzo

And another. Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.


buzby

Quote from: Enrico Palazzo on March 27, 2019, 09:17:57 AM
And another. Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.

There's a P51C 'Razorback' Mustang (which the ROCAF never got until 1945) blowing the wing off a Spitfire Mk9 on that one!

St_Eddie

Quote from: Enrico Palazzo on March 27, 2019, 09:17:57 AM
And another. Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.



That poster makes it look like Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

Quote from: Enrico Palazzo on March 27, 2019, 09:17:57 AM
Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.

I love the one on the right in particular.  I can imagine him slowly emerging into view, from behind the shoulder of Seung-Heon Song, accompanied by a slide whistle, saying "hello!" and slowly lowering himself out of view again, as the slide whistle goes back down in tone.

Glebe

Adrian Brody's face in that The Bombing poster... "what have I gotten myself into?!"

The Culture Bunker

Quote from: Glebe on March 27, 2019, 05:46:30 PM
Adrian Brody's face in that The Bombing poster... "what have I gotten myself into?!"
First poster is presumably on the first day of shooting.

Second poster: heavy depression after first week.

Third poster: composing note to agent with general gist of "I blame you for everything" before throwing self off cliff.

Glebe

It'd be great if Bruce Willis had a contract that stipulated that Adrien Brody should be in every film he does from now on, and must appear on the poster looking devastated.

mothman

Quote from: Glebe on March 27, 2019, 06:37:58 PM
It'd be great if Bruce Willis had a contract that stipulated that Adrien Brody should be in every film he does from now on, and must appear on the poster looking devastated.

First thought: what could Brody have possibly to him to deserve that?!
Second thought: Kevin Smith dodged a bullet.

The Culture Bunker

However, I do like the fact they at least managed to get Brody to make three distinct expressions, while giving the designer just the single Willis scowl to work with.