Author Topic: Inept film posters  (Read 56304 times)

mcbpete

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #90 on: August 22, 2013, 11:09:45 AM »
They look like updated Mills and Boon book covers

Blumf

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #91 on: August 22, 2013, 12:16:42 PM »
Reminds me of Frank Frazetta's (of Conan the Barbarian book cover fame) stuff. He loved them powerful pyramid/triangle compositions









And the scantily clad human form, he loved them too (seriously, he was very good at drawing humans, making them feel solid, real and moving)

Lyfjaberg

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #92 on: August 22, 2013, 04:05:02 PM »
Film posters are sexist. You never see a strong, independent woman cradling a man, as he sheds a tear of violation after having been mated with against his will.

thecuriousorange

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #93 on: August 22, 2013, 05:28:37 PM »
This tag-line is how your friend at school would excitedly begin describing the film to you.



I suppose in that way it's quite a concise summation of the premise, which would make it the opposite of inept.

But isn't it all a bit too "does exactly what it says on the tin"? 

How much did someone get paid for typing that?

Did their boss not want them to come up with something like "The president's problems are about to get sky high" or "With this guy as president, would you attack America?" Well they're both shit, but they could have put a bit of effort in.

Big Jack McBastard

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #94 on: August 22, 2013, 06:22:37 PM »


The unconvincing collage of people of bad enough, but what really grates is how the list is laid out.  Why would all the lines ending in '..... Job' start in a different position to the rest of it?  Surely they could have done something?  Also, possibly the least alluring picture of Aubrey in existence.

Aren't they just implying that Blow/Hand Job is already ticked off the list?

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #95 on: August 22, 2013, 08:09:27 PM »
This isn't an inept film poster as such, but more a case of bad positioning, as every morning I have to change at Piccadilly Circus from the Bakerloo Line to the Piccadilly Line, and I was walk down the stairs I'm greeted by this:



It's worth visiting Piccadilly Circus for that alone!

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #96 on: August 22, 2013, 08:21:14 PM »
This isn't an inept film poster as such, but more a case of bad positioning, as every morning I have to change at Piccadilly Circus from the Bakerloo Line to the Piccadilly Line, and I was walk down the stairs I'm greeted by this:



It's worth visiting Piccadilly Circus for that alone!

Looks like it stars Walter White.

thecuriousorange

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #97 on: August 22, 2013, 10:54:24 PM »




Can you really use a quote from "Vue Magazine" as a testimonial?

Trying to pass off some PR fluff from an advertisement as a review. All that does is make me assume it's getting savaged in actual reviews.

It's an inept film poster just for that.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #98 on: August 22, 2013, 11:46:24 PM »

  Also, possibly the least alluring picture of Aubrey in existence.

It does look a bit like one of those "airbrushed to make her adhere to the focus grouped, scientific definition of what an attractive face shape should be, so clean up anything quirky or unusual that actually makes her attractive" pictures.

See also


Nuclear Optimism

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #99 on: August 23, 2013, 12:17:41 AM »
Where are you finding these Nuclear Optimism?

Oh here and there. There and abouts. Sometimes I see them on IMDb, sometimes I see them on Rotten Tomatoes, sometimes various film poster websites, and sometimes my colleagues email them to me (bitter, low-rung graphic designers doing menus for pizza parlours and business cards for grain salesmen, while these hacks get to work in films. It's just like how everyone on CaB is a failed comedy writer and so hates all comedy, or so the story goes).

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #100 on: August 23, 2013, 01:38:11 AM »
It does look a bit like one of those "airbrushed to make her adhere to the focus grouped, scientific definition of what an attractive face shape should be, so clean up anything quirky or unusual that actually makes her attractive" pictures.

See also



Christ, they supremely fucked that up!

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #101 on: August 23, 2013, 02:01:46 AM »
Aren't they just implying that Blow/Hand Job is already ticked off the list?

I didn't make myself clear.  The tick isn't the problem.  The problem is her left hand - it's obviously meant to be covering up the words that end in job.  So why has she written French Kiss in central alignment, then shift everything to the left for the lines directly below it?  Maybe she should put THAT on her to do list, eh?!?

zomgmouse

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #102 on: August 23, 2013, 11:00:10 AM »
It does look a bit like one of those "airbrushed to make her adhere to the focus grouped, scientific definition of what an attractive face shape should be, so clean up anything quirky or unusual that actually makes her attractive" pictures.

See also


Holy hell! Wow!!

daf

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #103 on: August 23, 2013, 02:00:09 PM »
Aren't they just implying that Blow/Hand Job is already ticked off the list?

Looks like she's just reminding herself to have a massive dump, before setting forth to find some gainful employment . . . and then giving someone a blowie.

kidsick5000

  • Gotta be groovy for the moovy
Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #104 on: August 24, 2013, 05:53:27 AM »
sometimes my colleagues email them to me (bitter, low-rung graphic designers doing menus for pizza parlours and business cards for grain salesmen, while these hacks get to work in films.

A friend briefly worked for a design agency that did these film posters in the early part of last decade. Briefly because it was soul destroying. He tried to pitch something artier – no dice. It's a case of 'here are the images we want to use, in this style, this font.' Joyless.
I doubt the bigger films try too hard anyway. There's a legion of Olly Moss-es willing to redesign and inadvertantly promote your film on tumblr and deviantart.

Povidone

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #105 on: August 27, 2013, 12:19:41 PM »
Pacino's head looks photoshopped on, although probably isn't, still a fuck awful poster.


Default to the negative

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #106 on: August 27, 2013, 12:35:14 PM »
All the posters and DVD covers for Audition are inept in the sense that they're massive spoilers.

   

Blumf

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #107 on: August 27, 2013, 12:54:33 PM »
I really wish they'd played the marketing for Audition completely straight as a rom-com; pastel fonts, happy smiling couple, no clue about the horrors within.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #108 on: August 27, 2013, 01:41:01 PM »
I really wish they'd played the marketing for Audition completely straight as a rom-com; pastel fonts, happy smiling couple, no clue about the horrors within.

Quite. I also think it should serve as the template for all romantic comedies. Imagine Love Actually or Along Came Polly mixed with Audition.

Blumf

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #109 on: August 27, 2013, 01:44:47 PM »
Imagine Love Actually or Along Came Polly mixed with Audition.

100% less vomit inducing for starters.

mothman

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #110 on: August 27, 2013, 07:35:55 PM »
"Oh, thank God - a torture scene. For a horrible moment I was afraid it was going to be a montage of moments in love set to a whimsically-chosen golden oldie."

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #111 on: September 06, 2013, 11:29:45 PM »
What's wrong with their faces?


Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #112 on: September 07, 2013, 12:05:47 AM »
I really wish they'd played the marketing for Audition completely straight as a rom-com; pastel fonts, happy smiling couple, no clue about the horrors within.

Me too, but then the problem would be that loads of girly romcom lovers would rent it and hate it, and most people who actually like that type of horror film would avoid it until they found out that it wasn't a romcom, which would then defeat the point of it having the romcom cover.

Blumf

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #113 on: September 07, 2013, 12:40:34 AM »
Me too, but then the problem would be that loads of girly romcom lovers would rent it and hate it,

That's the idea

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #114 on: September 07, 2013, 12:48:56 AM »


This one's just popped up in my facebook feed. It looks all wrong. I can't figure it out. The repeated SWAT members, the odd looking arms, the clearly photoshopped and airbrushed face. The flat void they're all in. The 2D vehicles. All up, it's not the most awful thing ever, but all the tiny details go into creating that uncanny valley feeling that just makes my brain double-take.

What's wrong with their faces?



Yikes.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #115 on: September 07, 2013, 01:25:12 AM »
What's wrong with their faces?



Is bottom left Chunk from the Goonies now?

Shameless Custard

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #116 on: November 10, 2013, 05:24:27 AM »
What is going on with her in the middle?


Olarrio

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #117 on: November 10, 2013, 07:34:04 PM »

Johnny Textface

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #118 on: November 10, 2013, 09:13:34 PM »


Whats supposed to be happening under the suitcase?

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #119 on: December 13, 2013, 07:25:53 AM »


Two things.
1. Rather than displaying any emotion traditionally associated with film posters, this chap looks like he's halfway through the easy crossword in the Daily Star
2. He and the army of the damned are facing in the same direction, making it look like he's on their side