Topic: Inept film posters

[SteveDave]

Wow the Blu-Raymond has a commentary from the Griswold Family? In character?

[checkoutgirl]

BTW, I think you've got the wrong idea checkoutgirl...

Maybe, but the first one I put up is a real poster for a Mahogany film and is pretty annoying. I mean, Mahogany has decided to take acting seriously for the last few years but before that he was happy to be the lust item in a load of chick flicks and the posters always seemed to have him leaning on something with a stupid grin on his boat. Look at this shit

[checkoutgirl]

Here's a load of shit posters with people standing back to back for some reason.



I think I've seen Wild Target (2009).

It was shit. I find Emily Blunt inexplicably annoying.

[Viero_Berlotti]

I like the View To A Kill one, but only because it features Grace Jones.

[Phil_A]

Maybe, but the first one I put up is a real poster for a Mahogany film and is pretty annoying. I mean, Mahogany has decided to take acting seriously for the last few years but before that he was happy to be the lust item in a load of chick flicks and the posters always seemed to have him leaning on something with a stupid grin on his boat. Look at this shit

EDTV's the odd one out there, it's actually a good film.

[Nuclear Optimism]

Evidently they had access to a boat during the taking of Boat Trip. Presumably they had access to a camera. Obviously they had access to the cast of the film. So why not take a picture of the cast on the fucking boat?

[Replies From View]

This one annoys me:



Instead of taking the photograph during the making of the film when the "kids" were still shrunken, some wag has obviously put it together later using an artificial montaging technique.  If it was done for real there's no way the dog would be so comfortable with them sliding down its nose like that.  It would wonder why that was its repayment for helping them get from the garden to the house, then saving one of them from getting eaten in the breakfast cereal.

[Lyfjaberg]

This one annoys me:

Your joking about the reality of shrinking kids aside[nb]Rick would never do that, because as all his fans know he is a deeply moral man who is committed to the memory of his wife[/nb], this is actually one of the -- if not THE -- best film posters here. And it all goes to show that lazy photoshopping is destroying modern civilisation.

[Thomas]

In that 'Photoshop Wrongs' thread there's a bit of chatter about the lack of drawn/painted posters in recent years. The one that bothers me is James Bond. It's just shiny photos of the main cast now.

Even video games, like Red Dead Redemption and GTA, get drawn imagery.[nb]Or imagery made to look drawn, at least.[/nb]

[Lyfjaberg]

Even video games, like Red Dead Redemption and GTA, get drawn imagery.[nb]Or imagery made to look drawn, at least.[/nb]

http://www.digitaltutors.com/11/training.php?pid=262

[zomgmouse]

Evidently they had access to a boat during the taking of Boat Trip. Presumably they had access to a camera. Obviously they had access to the cast of the film. So why not take a picture of the cast on the fucking boat?

Never mind that, they somehow managed to forget to credit Nigella Lawson, who seems to be one of the main cast.

[Replies From View]

And Michael Palin, who appears to be doing his '80 Days Around The World' in the last image as two women unfathomably rub their arses on him.

[Nuclear Optimism]

That woman on the right must be seven feet tall.

[thecuriousorange]

In this poster Eddie Murphy appears to made of linoleum.

I'm guessing this is some type of Liar Liar stye comedy where a hapless Eddie Murphy can only say exactly 1,000 words before losing his voice forever. Forcing him to only speak in very short sentences. But before getting this curse he agreed to do a big speech at a friend's wedding in SIX MONTHS!

[Bad Ambassador]

Better than that - when he says the thousandth word, he'll die.

[Nuclear Optimism]

Look at the state of it.

[thecuriousorange]

The series?

Because there aren't enough things about zombies.

[Blumf]

The series?

Something to do with Amazon's new self produced TV shows:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?docId=1001155581

Can't say I like the look of any of them.

[Nuclear Optimism]

Doing the poster for a Scary Movie movie is a bum deal. The problem is you're hamstrung by convention, because you have to use the same set-up as the previous films, with the cast sitting in the cinema.[nb]
Noted horror film Peter Jackson's King Kong being spoofed there.


Ha it says Enema instead of Eminem. What wit!


Huh-huh you said "come".


So, about that "No sequel"...[/nb] A film like this relies on celebrity cameos, which they shoot here and there depending on everyone's schedule, so there's no guarantee you'll even get a good chunk of the cast together at the same time. And because there were never any group photos you just have to stick it all together in an unconvincing collage. Add some lame sight gags and a rubbish tagline and you're done. "I put the sin in sinister"? Rubbish.

There are actually several knocked-up fan-made posters for Scary Movie 5 dating back a couple of years (when they imagined Anna Faris would still be in it) and they're really no worse than the real thing which cost actual money to make. It's a damning indictment of the professionals.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Right arm on Sandler looking mighty broken there too.

[Big Jack McBastard]

That woman on the right must be seven feet tall.

Victoria Silvsted, she is gigantic in reality as well.

[Nuclear Optimism]

CelebHeights tells me Roger Moore is 6ft, and she's 5ft 10.5, yet in that picture she's nearly as tall as him while bending over.

No excuse. Even though she's quite tall, it's still an impossibly sloppy job.

Good spot of Sandler's arm. Can't believe I missed it.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Obviously the cans/fluid there is at a Grubb level of technical accuracy as well but his left leg below the hem of the shorts is awfully suspicious too.

I wonder if the woman in the 'background' of the Boat Trip one could be used as a reference point to measure them.

I kind of like how awful/shit they are, the people making them should obviously not be being paid for their work but somehow a band of ropey photoshoppers have cornered an actual market, it give me hope.

[Replies From View]

The Scary Movie people aren't going to miss the opportunity to use the VI for a sixth film, clearly.  Exciting.

[zomgmouse]

And then the seventh will obviously be SCARY MOVII.

[Replies From View]

SCARY MCMXCIV

[Catalogue Trousers]

Noted horror film Ted being spoofed there. And just how rubbish is that big tongue coming out of I'm Evil's mouth?

Oh ho ho ho, his STIFFY is making a GHOST!

[QDRPHNC]

Noted horror film Ted being spoofed there. And just how rubbish is that big tongue coming out of I'm Evil's mouth?

Oh ho ho ho, his STIFFY is making a GHOST!

Yep, not a single person, on any level, involved with this movie gives a solitary shit.

[spock rogers]

Apparently this is the final poster for Man of Steel.


That is fucking embarrassing.

[Replies From View]

Surprised they didn't think of adding a bit of blur.