Author Topic: Inept film posters  (Read 52049 times)

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #510 on: June 27, 2018, 06:59:51 PM »
The Widescreen Festival appears to be the only film festival I'm aware of set solely on a boat: https://youtu.be/rY2zCY_pULw?t=3
- and a quick glance at http://widescreenfest.com/ seems to suggest it ran for three years and then failed to go ahead this year.

Clownbaby

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #511 on: July 06, 2018, 04:59:23 PM »
One of my friends was doing a dissertation on movie posters and I showed her the poster for Father Figures. I think I genuinely tainted her life


Blue Jam

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #512 on: July 06, 2018, 05:32:30 PM »


great great brill brill wicked wicked skill skill

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #513 on: July 09, 2018, 05:05:55 PM »
Given that Pamela Anderson does, indeed, show her boobs in this movie, it might have been slightly more sensible to just take an actual photo of her for the cover rather than this monstrosity.


St_Eddie

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #514 on: July 09, 2018, 06:02:31 PM »
Haha!  I like the way that they couldn't even be bothered to try and match the two different heads of hair.

thecuriousorange

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #515 on: November 12, 2018, 10:42:04 PM »
The best of The Crow sequels? Talk about damning with faint praise.


Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #516 on: November 12, 2018, 10:46:32 PM »
One of my friends was doing a dissertation on movie posters and I showed her the poster for Father Figures. I think I genuinely tainted her life


fucking hell.

"there's eight of them, & they all have it in their contracts to be on the poster, same size as everyone else, but the posters have to be portrait. also, some of the headshots need a little work..."

"it's ok, I've got this..."

Mister Six

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #517 on: November 13, 2018, 05:14:45 AM »
I feel sorry for the people on the middle row of "Dancin: It's On!", who appear to have been forced to jump in the air despite severe neck injuries.



I like the quote at the top that suggests the reviewer couldn't be bothered to find out whether Step Up came first or High School Musical did.

Hey, Punk!

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #518 on: November 15, 2018, 01:03:34 AM »

Famous Mortimer

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #519 on: January 02, 2019, 01:23:06 PM »

In "severe neck injury movie poster" news, Tommy Lee Jones.

Brundle-Fly

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #520 on: January 02, 2019, 03:12:37 PM »
It's courteous of Medusa Films to lend their logo to Sean Young to have a surreptitious piss.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #521 on: January 02, 2019, 04:50:21 PM »
Sort of seems like they've transported Tommy Lee Jones circa 1975 to appear in their dodgy late 80s action flick.

He also has an expression of a man who just saw his cat get run over by a juggernaut doing 80mph.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #522 on: January 02, 2019, 11:28:39 PM »

In "severe neck injury movie poster" news, Tommy Lee Jones.

This film is impressively bad - I encourage people to seek it out.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #523 on: January 03, 2019, 08:09:20 AM »
Flop Gun?

mothman

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #524 on: January 03, 2019, 05:12:09 PM »
I know I’ve seen it. But I can remember nothing at all about it.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #525 on: January 04, 2019, 12:24:09 AM »
Flop Gun?

The review pull-quote on the cover of the VHS copy I owned at university said “if you liked Top Gun... you will have a good time”

The praise seemed so laughably artificial that I tried to find the actual review it was taken from, to no avail. The idea of this was much more entertaining than the actual film, which was dog turds.

St_Eddie

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #526 on: January 04, 2019, 02:11:46 AM »
The review pull-quote on the cover of the VHS copy I owned at university said “if you liked Top Gun... you will have a good time”

The praise seemed so laughably artificial that I tried to find the actual review it was taken from, to no avail...

No doubt something along the lines of...

"If you liked Top Gun, you may be tempted to watch Wings of Apache, in the hope of similar thrills but unfortunately, with this cheap knock-off, you'll be flying into a no thrills danger zone.  If on the other hand, you get a perverse pleasure out of watching laughable cinematic tripe, then you will have a good time."

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #527 on: January 04, 2019, 04:41:19 AM »
No doubt something along the lines of...

"If you liked Top Gun, you may be tempted to watch Wings of Apache, in the hope of similar thrills but unfortunately, with this cheap knock-off, you'll be flying into a no thrills danger zone.  If on the other hand, you get a perverse pleasure out of watching laughable cinematic tripe, then you will have a good time."

I thought it was more along the lines of...

“If you liked Top Gun [go and watch that instead]; you will have a good time”

Edit: here it is, quote at the top.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wings-Apache-VHS-Nicolas-Cage/dp/B00008T2XM

I’d forgotten all the music (including the incidental sunset/helicopter fight stuff) was written and performed by Phil Collins. This film feels like a fever-dream. Nic Cage screams “I AM THE GREATEST” more than once, in normal conversation.

St_Eddie

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #528 on: January 04, 2019, 10:56:16 AM »
I thought it was more along the lines of...

“If you liked Top Gun [go and watch that instead]; you will have a good time”

Edit: here it is, quote at the top.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wings-Apache-VHS-Nicolas-Cage/dp/B00008T2XM

Oh, being the case that the actual quote is "if you enjoyed Top Gun, you'll have a great time"; that means that it's not a spliced quote because there's no ellipses (which is a legal requirement, if a quote is spliced together from two separate sentences of a review).  However, note that no source for the quote is provided, which means that it's a quote made by the producers/marketing team themselves and not sourced from an actual review (designed to trick potential buyers into thinking that it's a quote from a review).

I looked into and learned these common marketing tricks when I was a kid, having being burned one too many times.

Mister Six

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #529 on: January 04, 2019, 02:27:15 PM »
"Absolutely brilliant!" - David Darling

BlodwynPig

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #530 on: January 04, 2019, 05:43:07 PM »
“Choppers, Norks, and one big tit” - The Sun

greencalx

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #531 on: January 04, 2019, 08:55:45 PM »
I like the quote at the top that suggests the reviewer couldn't be bothered to find out whether Step Up came first or High School Musical did.

I've never understood these "best X since Y" type comments in reviews, and even less so when they get pulled out as an endorsement. For starters, it relies on the person reading it (i) having knowledge of Y; (ii) thinking that Y was good to begin with; and (iii) would consider seeing something that is not as good as Y.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #532 on: January 04, 2019, 10:06:52 PM »
This film feels like a fever-dream. Nic Cage screams “I AM THE GREATEST” more than once, in normal conversation.
Saying it's a film that has Cage screaming random gibberish narrows it down to about 20 or 30, doesn't it?

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #533 on: January 05, 2019, 12:35:45 AM »
Saying it's a film that has Cage screaming random gibberish narrows it down to about 20 or 30, doesn't it?

Yes.

I’ve voluntarily sat through multiple screenings of Vampire’s Kiss and Red Rock West, so I should know.

St_Eddie

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #534 on: January 05, 2019, 12:44:54 AM »
I've never understood these "best X since Y" type comments in reviews, and even less so when they get pulled out as an endorsement. For starters, it relies on the person reading it (i) having knowledge of Y; (ii) thinking that Y was good to begin with; and (iii) would consider seeing something that is not as good as Y.

Nothing is better than Y.  Y is the pinnacle of human achievement.

X is for muppets.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #535 on: January 05, 2019, 01:54:10 AM »
Nothing is better than Y.  Y is the pinnacle of human achievement.

Why?

St_Eddie

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Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #536 on: January 05, 2019, 01:58:01 AM »

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #537 on: January 05, 2019, 09:57:39 AM »
Sagittarius 22 Nov - 21 Dec “if you liked Top Gun... you will have a good time”


Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #538 on: January 05, 2019, 05:51:58 PM »
Nothing is better than Y.  Y is the pinnacle of human achievement.

X is for muppets.

Fuckin' misogynist.

Re: Inept film posters
« Reply #539 on: January 05, 2019, 06:15:08 PM »

In "severe neck injury movie poster" news, Tommy Lee Jones.

An Apache doesn’t even have wings. It’s a helicopter. Those little stubby things are weapons pylons. It should have been called blades of the apache.