Two Pints (*hack spit*): Kill Jonny

[steevbishop]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/twopints/

The lady of the flat watches it, not I coz I'm too busy doing anything else. The last episode of Series 4, puts Jonny in a cuntishly stupid situation where the police think he's really dangerous, mistake his Crunchie bar for a gun and shoot him.

You can vote online to choose whether he lives or he dies. Kill him, kill him good and dead.

[Manford Thirty-Sixborough]

The thing is, if he dies, that won't stop the series continuing, it'll just remove one of the few mitigating factors.

Let Our Antony live, say I.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

Surely, this poll will be more effective if we actually use the BBC site?

VOTE: DIE! And hopefully, he'll take the whole fucking show down with him.

[steevbishop]

Surely, this poll will be more effective if we actually use the BBC site?

It's just a bit of fun.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

Surely, this poll will be more effective if we actually use the BBC site?

It's just a bit of fun.

Which is more than can be said for the show...

BOOM! etc.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

Two Pikeys, Charvers and a Ned's cap of piss.

This is comedy for the weak of mind, which is really fitting considering it is written by the weak of mind, and takes the piss out of the weak of mind. It's a paradox of shite.

As Sexwhale said, vote for everyone on this show to die, or just write to the BBC complaining about why this is allowed to be shown on it's best TV channel at 9:30 on a Monday night.

[rjpeters]

I caught the end of this, mainly because I was waiting for TKBS to come on. What a load of contrived, non-sensical bullshit. It's incredible that this has made it 4 series, it really is.

If there was an option to kill the bloody lot of 'em, then yeah I might care. But who honestly gives a fuck?

[Lumiere]

I caught bits of this because of my standard monthly retarded relative visit (a cousin this time. I showed her TDT and she said it was the most offensive thing she'd ever seen). It really is shite, isn't it? I've seen bits of it before and always thought it was unmitigated bullshit, but now I've endured a whole episode (despite the fact it was in the background) I can truly say its shit.

If you want to see the ONLY funny thing related to TPOLAAPOC, look at the amazon review (?) of one of the series DVDs. It says it's marvellous comedy (you can see it if you use the search function and find the topic 'Hilariously Point-Missing DVD reviews').

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

What is there to take offence at on The Day Today unless you're a member of the 1992-1997 Conservative Party?

Brass Eye, can understand but TDT offensive?

Unless they meant 'offensive' in, so bad it's offensive, in which case they require a sense of humour, or a quick painless death.

[Godzilla Bankrolls]

The only really worrying thing about 2POLAAPOC is that it's the BBC's training ground for their new sitcom writers. What can a young writer prove by doing a script for it? That they can fit in with the house style and not show any individuality?

Bo Selecta, Darkplace and The Mighty Boosh are worthy of vitriol. 2POLAAPOC is just worthy of derision.

[chand]

I caught the end of this, mainly because I was waiting for TKBS to come on.

Same here. What was the deal with the 'emotional' clip montage? Were they being ironic or, as I suspect, rubbish?

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

something nasty about Darkplace

Why I oughta..

[Rev]

I saw the last minute or so of this, with some woman or other crying over whatshisname and a helicopter, followed by a montage of highlights from the series.  The end, surely.  For it to take such a sober turn, it must be the end.

Then the phone numbers appeared, with the bleating actress' subtle voting suggestions.  Would an actor's contract really be put to a public vote in such a way?  Isn't he the main character?  If he is, and given that only fans of the show will pick up the phone to vote for the thing, then the 'he lives' vote is inevitable.  So, a nice bit of pocket change for the BBC from the call charges...  and another bloody series of 'Two Pints' to look forward to.

[weekender]

They should have applied a similar vote to the actual series itself.

[Jemble Fred]

This was on in my house last night, because I was taping Pagans and didn't want to spoil watching it back. Honest! Honestly! I don't watch this, please don't hit me etc.

The thing is, d'you think this boy's death will finally kill off this show for good? It's a possibility – his survival definitely won't kill the show off, but it's *just* possible that, with Ralph Little gone, this programme will finally end. Therefore...

Vote Jonny Die, and vote now. It may be the one useful thing you do all week.

By the way – if they repeated Darkplace now, I'd probably quite enjoy it. The Boosh having lowered my expectations from anything in life to an unbelievable degree. Darkplace had at least one good line per episode, albeit usually ruined by dire delivery.

[mrpants]

I think that the next series, which starts filming in a couple of months time, will be the last.


Thank God.

[NobodyGetsOutAlive]

2 Pints Does Dark.


Was I the only one who thought this would happen as the helicopter came onscreen? I don't know why, but it did seem a bit predictable somehow *


Awful money-making scheme by the BBC though, you can just imagine all the Little family furiously texting away to keep their little Ralph's bank account active.



* Obligatory "I-don't-watch-Two-Pints.." bit: I was waiting for Keith Barret to come on

[steevbishop]

So, a nice bit of pocket change for the BBC from the call charges... and another bloody series of 'Two Pints' to look forward to.

And the voting page on the website turns into a demography test, asking for age range, location and gender. Seems like someone's lost some confidence in the show and is taking a rather cynical stab at keeping it alive.

I was really disappointed that there weren't exploding blood packets underneath his clothes. They could've written around it in the new (trying not to retch) series easily enough with some loose explanation or other, and seeing as there was enough in the budget to hire some cars and a chopper, a little SFX wouldn't have dented it much further.

And that fucking theme music! G'ah-on-crack, how I hate that spacker Robbo Williums impersonating-thing going on there.

Vitriol, vitriol, bile, scorn, matchstick.

[benthalo]

A really confusing ending. A morale-free montage bunged in to make up time which made you wonder why we'd put up with Ralf Little let alone the rest of them for so long. All clips taken from FRV series for consistency, which made me smile. As much as the ending of Father Ted irritated me, at least it had a certain power. It's a test of any show when a highlights compilation makes you want to spit blood.

Awful script. Does Susan Nickolds still write it? I doubt it. That's the first time I've seen an episode with the sound on since series one, and it's clearly worsened. Lots of unexplained mentions of 'twat', cross-purposes chat which doesn't make any sort of sense, clumsy references to Jobseekers' Allowance and a totally illogical ending which failed to drift into drama as it so desperately wanted to do. It can't be that hard to write convincing comedy, surely?

I blame Game On personally. BBC2 would never have commissioned this ten years ago.

[axel]

(a cousin this time. I showed her TDT and she said it was the most offensive thing she'd ever seen)

Make her watch BES, go on and tell us what happens!

[Lumiere]

I shall do exactly that.

[Munday's Chylde]

And the voting page on the website turns into a demography test, asking for age range, location and gender. Seems like someone's lost some confidence in the show and is taking a rather cynical stab at keeping it alive.
.

I'm not surprised someones lost confidence in the show. If this thread is anything to go by it would appear everyone who makes up its ratings only watch it 'accidentally'

[Hoogstraten'sSmilingUlcer]

Vermschneid Mehearties wrote:

What is there to take offence at on The Day Today unless you're a member of the 1992-1997 Conservative Party?

Or you're Paxo. I remember he was asked - along with other newsreaders - what he thought of it and he said 'I was working at the time and never saw it.' Call me suspicious, but I think that's him saying, 'I was working for a living, unlike those bloody actors. Why should I want to watch some jumped-up little ponce impersonating me?'  Alistair Stewart didn't like it either and Martyn Lewis was 'out to dinner that night.'  What - out to dinner on the same day, at the same time for six weeks in a row?

[Partridge's Love Child]

I have confessed in the past to watching this.  Despite being utter garbage, it has kept me amused for half an hour in the past, I really can't say why.  I guess it's one of those situations where you convince yourself you're being post-ironic, whereas really you're just vegging out to one of the biggest piles of twaddle on the telly.

Thankfully, I've avoided it this time around, though I did catch the last episode, and I am relieved to say that the hate I first felt for it during the very first series seems to have returned.  Anyway, this is rambling.  What I did click the reply button to say was that the Beeb know full well that anyone sufficiently interested in this show to actually bother texting will vote for him to live.  Net result: the Beeb makes a packet on text voting and commissions a fifth series, in the first episode of which Ralf Little turns to camera and says, "Oh thank God, it was all just a bad dream!" - rounding it all off with a cheeky wink.

However, the question of the Little's contract being in the balance is an interesting one.  Yet another example the performers being the last consideration.  I notice Hollyhocks is doing open auditions again, which is a fucking disgrace and no mistake, but don't get me started on that.  Sadly Equity have little clout any more.

I'd never really considered Two Pints... being a bastard son of Game On before, but I think that's a very savvy observation.  Though it was a more amusing show, the jokes were still based upon using rude swear words and sexual embarassment.  Neither show is as daring or funny as it likes to think it is.  Way way off in fact.

[The Man With Brass Eyes]

Game On was like a Mozart symphony compared with Two Pints of Lager.

[Lumiere]

Thanks to the congretation of cousins due to the 'random monthly retarded relative visit', and the fact that I had a huge discussion with them about the show, it occurs to me: You have to be either really fucking stupid, or have an appalingly bad taste in comedy to like this show (P'LC, I'm not saying you're stupid for watching it, btw). My cousins said it was hilarious, one of the best comedies ever, and they say its something new and 'weird'. This is coming from people who said TDT episode 1 wasn't funny in the slightest (despite being possibly the weakest DT ep, it's 1,000,000 times better than 2POLAAPOC). I mean, d'ya have to be living under a rock not and not know anything about politics/news programmes to understand it's a satire? I mean, really.

In 2 pints, they seem to think they're making the show ultra-interesting by placing each of the characters in a relationship with another character (seemingly random) so in the end everyone has gone out with someone. They think they're doing something new and seemingly controversial, because the characters mentions farting every five minutes, or make references to having sex. Urgh.

[Partridge's Love Child]

My cousins said it was hilarious, one of the best comedies ever, and they say its something new and 'weird'.

I can't decide if that makes me deeply depressed about the state of the human race, or boosted imeasureably by just how superior I am.  I think I'll accentuate the positive.

It's hard to rationalise my approach to the show.  I remember when it first aired, I thought it was so awful I wanted to eat the carpet just so I'd have something to vomit up.  Like an alcoholic who hates himself for drinking, I watched every bloody episode just to see how bad it was and how angry it made me.  However, when it was repeated, my then-flatmate insisted upon rewatching it for some unearthly reason and I seemed to develop a quaint liking for it.  It was almost a patronising approach to it, like it was the Eddie the Eagle of sitcoms - it was so bad I was virtually willing it on to make me laugh at least once: "Go on, say`fanny fart' and see it raises a titter".

Thankfully, the last two series have largely passed me by, either by there being something else on, or just being prepared to subject myself to it anymore.  I have no recollection of which.  As I say, having watched that last episode, I hate it again, which is something of a relief really.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

I remember watching the very first episode and quite liking it - proper, Man About the House gags, nice three-walled sitcom etc. But that was obviously the pilot, which Nickson had worked on for years. The rest of the series wasn't so good.

I still don't think it's *that* bad though. Am I alone in thinking Ralf Little, despite being irritating in real life, has good/likeable comedy timing? And there's usually a handul of lines in each episode which always take me aback slightly, or seem better than you'd expect.

I think the moderns sitcoms that you're allowed to enjoy (Black Books or whatever) aren't exactly *streets* ahead of Two Pints in terms of funniness. They're better, yes, but it's not like comparing caviar and fish paste.  

Also, if anything's less funny than Two Pints, it's the hilarious substitutions which people HAVE to do when mentioning the show. 'Two Pints of Shit and a Bucket of Bollocks' etc. That's never funny.

[Lumiere]

Am I alone in thinking Ralf Little, despite being irritating in real life, has good/likeable comedy timing?

Yep.

[Godzilla Bankrolls]

He's good in The Royle Family. Him and Natalie Casey do have comic timing. In fact all of the actors on 2POL have good timing, but the scripts are fucking terrible.