Author Topic: The worst song you've ever heard  (Read 31490 times)

the psyche intangible

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The worst song you've ever heard
« on: May 30, 2013, 04:23:41 PM »
I just heard this on the radio http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNm2h3JN_7A and had to turn it off. As I couldn't believe how shit it was I obviously looked on youtube for it. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse some guy gets dragged on stage to play an ultra shit sax solo. It's awesome.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2013, 04:58:57 PM »
Hating on gay house? You can flip off mate.

EDIT: Haha that sax solo. This is brilliant.

Olarrio

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2013, 05:13:00 PM »
This has to be a contender.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0

[Vocoder]Let's get fucking freaky nooow[Vocoder]

the psyche intangible

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2013, 05:18:33 PM »
good lord

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2013, 06:03:56 PM »
This has to be a contender.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0

[Vocoder]Let's get fucking freaky nooow[Vocoder]

A boil on the bum of society.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #5 on: May 30, 2013, 06:15:12 PM »
There's only one nomination I can make. It's got to be She's So Lovely by Scouting for Girls. Looking for cake? Sorry friend, it's been taken.

kitsofan34

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #6 on: May 30, 2013, 06:22:17 PM »

Utter Shit

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #7 on: May 30, 2013, 06:25:16 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQBtESs2MRg

It's this. This topic came up on here a good few years ago and my answer hasn't changed. It's just utterly horrendous to listen to, to the point that it almost forces me into an involuntary shudder at the start of it if it's played. Imagine a tune so profoundly irritating that the singing voice of Jennifer Lopez is an improvement. That sax sample is just...fucking hell.

It's irritating at such a fundamental level, I struggle to see how it could have passed whatever focus group allowed it to be released. There are very few songs that, however much I dislike them, I can't at least see how they would appeal to a target market, a certain demographic. I don't get that with this, I don't know how it has come to exist. I don't know how, at the genesis of this song, the guy who cut that sample didn't let it loop twice and then go "oh God no, that's fucking annoying" and delete it immediately. The sheer number of decision-makers and influencers that this must have passed before it got released makes it a near impossibility that it could have ever have been released.

Johnny Townmouse

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2013, 06:26:37 PM »
I think that on balance, and because in the very early stages of their career they appeared to be a very competent garage rock band, this is my most hated song. I mean, I really fucking despise this song on every level.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0HhrwIwp0

Utter Shit

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2013, 06:28:37 PM »
Gets a pass from me for being turned into a song about Temuri Ketsbaia by Newcastle fans, a decade after he left the club.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2013, 06:35:59 PM »
Just a heads up to sign out of your Youtube account or you'll be suggested likewise shit music.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2013, 06:37:10 PM »
Probably up there with 'most cynical song I've ever heard'. But the worst? Cmon. In a world with Pink in it?


Johnny Townmouse

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #12 on: May 30, 2013, 06:47:47 PM »
I don't expect those songs to be anything other than shit, but for a band to do a song like that with no sense of irony.

I mean 'sex on FIRE'. The sex is so hot, that it is on fire. And it's not love on fire, or some kind of metaphor. It's just stated, right there in the title.

It's the SEX that is on fire.

It's pure Brent.

canadagoose

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2013, 06:52:28 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olr9vY7FFs0
(Charlene Soraia - Wherever You Will Go)

What an absolute load of cack. "I'll goo wherever you will ga-hooooo!!!" I can't believe this got as much airplay as it did; her voice is irritating as hell and she can't enunciate for toffee[nb]I know anyone who's met me will be thinking "what a hypocrite!" but I'm not the one releasing records...[/nb]. Shit for cunts in its purest form.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2013, 07:06:10 PM by canadagoose »

Kane Jones

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2013, 07:10:04 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olr9vY7FFs0
(Charlene Soraia - Wherever You Will Go)

What an absolute load of cack. "I'll goo wherever you will ga-hooooo!!!" I can't believe this got as much airplay as it did; her voice is irritating as hell and she can't enunciate for toffee[nb]I know anyone who's met me will be thinking "what a hypocrite!" but I'm not the one releasing records...[/nb]. Shit for cunts in its purest form.

It's dire, but I'd still rather listen to this a thousand times a day and two million on Sunday than the original Calling version.  That guy's voice is pure post-grunge, eggy-throated, gruff shite.

canadagoose

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2013, 07:14:10 PM »
It's dire, but I'd still rather listen to this a thousand times a day and two million on Sunday than the original Calling version.  That guy's voice is pure post-grunge, eggy-throated, gruff shite.
Ah, nah, I'd rather listen to the original. Soraia's voice is at the extreme end of the irritation scale for me, next to the sound of someone eating with their mouth open, a child wailing and the high-pitched whine some electrical devices give off. And Ed Sheeran.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #16 on: May 30, 2013, 07:21:21 PM »
Quote
That guy's voice is pure post-grunge, eggy-throated, gruff shite.

Hello! Bit of a reach in terms of worst ever but in terms of something written and performed by professional musicians: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB0DU4DoPP4

The lyrics are jarringly conversational, the content utterly banal but it's all delivered in a completely over the top, eggy-throated, gruff and slightly threatening way ("LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH") to a very tedious melody. I'd rather listen to an awful lot of other shite than something this dull.


Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #17 on: May 30, 2013, 07:23:09 PM »
That J-Lo "Get Right" song that Utter Shit nominated is bloody horrible to listen to, I must admit.

But, for me, it's this one.  Always has been.  Always will be, I reckon.

One of the only songs I can think of where I'm ready to get up and leave the room in anger as soon as I hear the first note.  It affects me on a very primal level.  Can't explain it.  Just really gets under my skin and makes me seeeeeeeeeeeethe.  It's fucking dogmuck.

Brace yourselves. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFtLVogB87c


Johnny Townmouse

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #18 on: May 30, 2013, 07:32:22 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFtLVogB87c

Would, would, would.

That Nickelback song is fucking hilarious. The first line is brilliant.

DukeDeMondo

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #19 on: May 30, 2013, 07:35:39 PM »
Easy target, but I'll nominate this piece of dirty dung.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnknrw8LRYs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

NoSleep

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #20 on: May 30, 2013, 07:36:36 PM »
I just heard this on the radio http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNm2h3JN_7A and had to turn it off. As I couldn't believe how shit it was I obviously looked on youtube for it. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse some guy gets dragged on stage to play an ultra shit sax solo. It's awesome.

Blimey, I think somebody brought that sax player into the studio to record some sax on their track many years ago. He seems incapable of finding the right key or playing in tune. He's actually having a good night in that video; the wheezling horrors he produced in the studio will haunt me for the rest of my years. Dragged onstage (and into the studio) because he was seen busking around Brixton (ie, playing his little turn with no accompaniment) then his inability to play along with anybody else becomes apparent.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2013, 07:40:31 PM »
Quick question!

Is it possible to actively enjoy the Bird Is The Word song without being a massive bell-end??

the psyche intangible

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2013, 07:43:56 PM »
The Nickleback song is funny as fuck, it gets props for that, so does the fat black guy with the shit sax guy.

This is turds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lja0slGLuhI

Johnny Townmouse

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #23 on: May 30, 2013, 07:54:23 PM »
This is rather good - and the video is the cherry on top of the icing on top of the cake:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN2a-ec1qTk

The final minute of this video is great - it tries to go all narrative and has a nice moment with the star in a car talking into a dictaphone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN2a-ec1qTk&feature=player_detailpage#t=206s

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #24 on: May 30, 2013, 08:04:15 PM »
Any excuse to post this. All credit to Rural TV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAsUfWvIiXY

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #25 on: May 30, 2013, 08:17:41 PM »
This is rather good - and the video is the cherry on top of the icing on top of the cake:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN2a-ec1qTk

The final minute of this video is great - it tries to go all narrative and has a nice moment with the star in a car talking into a dictaphone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN2a-ec1qTk&feature=player_detailpage#t=206s

Ooooh. Lovely. That upload has the glorious sound quality of a Nigerian satellite TV film channel.

Unoriginal

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #26 on: May 30, 2013, 09:30:29 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSIw09oqsYo

This brings back horrible childhood memories so this.

Subtle Mocking

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #27 on: May 30, 2013, 09:34:46 PM »
It's got to be one that's clearly shite, but it'll be stuck in your head for weeks after hearing it. Thus:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMPth4LlO2M

EDIT: Also, fresh out of another thread pertaining to embarrassment, this Sandie Shaw effort deserves a mention: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=290VKOBYu7w

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #28 on: May 30, 2013, 10:38:27 PM »
This guy fits into the category of 'so bad it's hilarious'. I couldn't work out if he was serious for a while, but thankfully it seems he is.

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shiftwork2

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #29 on: May 30, 2013, 10:51:19 PM »
SPREAD UR LEGS OFFICIAL VIDEO CLIP

Utterly extraordinary.  There's no rhythm, no tune, there's the odd 'troooooo' and 'wooooo' and the editing of the video is completely out of whack.  The impression is of a dream that you have in the moments before you wake up to an unwelcome alarm clock.