The worst song you've ever heard

[mcbpete]

well this is fucking shit.

Reminds me of the regional TV advert when I used to live in Devon - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35qdPhMXpIY

[the psyche intangible]

I always thought I made up a little ditty that simply goes "Chicken in the jungle la la la". No, maybe I remixed this Drummond type shit from the 80's that I'm pretty sure I've never heard before.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzxW2JrK0sw

[Kane Jones]

Good call, I fucking despise both versions of that song. The black equivalent of Don't stop believing.

Ach. I want to neg you for dissing Don't Stop Believin'.. But I'm not a negger. So.. Ach.

[jfjnpxmy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTek4AdPkik

Uhoh, oo's dat talentless cahnt
Uhoh, oo's dat talentless cahnt
Uhoh, oo's dat talentless cahnt

OI oo's dat OI talentless OI cahnt

[amoral]

I've been working this summer on an American farm in America (I'm American), and the people I work with blast the same country station (which plays the same songs over and over every day) every day. I truly loathe this shit, and I could post a dozen songs here that I've been subjected to in the past month, but this one struck me as particularly hollow and hateful. I'm not necessarily averse to country music, but this is not country music. I have no idea what this is. It's a special kind of pullution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HX4SfnVlP4

Hank Wiliams this ain't.

[Phil_A]

I'm subjected to this fucking load of shit from Eliza Doolittle at least twice a day at work. It's the chorus which really boils my piss, it's like some idiotic nursery rhyme for twats.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqGx1lfyb6s

BIG
WHEN I
WAS LITUWWW

BIG
WHEN I
WAS LITUWWW

LIKE MALCOLM IN THE MIDDULL
THAT WAS BIG
WHEN I
WAS LITUWWW

I mean, for fuck's sake.

[23 Daves]

I've been working this summer on an American farm in America (I'm American), and the people I work with blast the same country station (which plays the same songs over and over every day) every day. I truly loathe this shit, and I could post a dozen songs here that I've been subjected to in the past month, but this one struck me as particularly hollow and hateful. I'm not necessarily averse to country music, but this is not country music. I have no idea what this is. It's a special kind of pullution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HX4SfnVlP4

Hank Wiliams this ain't.

"Not available in your country" apparently. Never mind.

Hear this one, "The Bumper of My SUV" by Chely Wright: http://youtu.be/pZdq62ThVQM It makes you think. It really makes you think. "Yes, I do have questions - I get to ask them because I'm free/ That's why I've got a sticker for the US Marines on the bumper of my SUV".

[Bleeding Kansas]

I'm subjected to this fucking load of shit from Eliza Doolittle at least twice a day at work. It's the chorus which really boils my piss, it's like some idiotic nursery rhyme for twats.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqGx1lfyb6s

BIG
WHEN I
WAS LITUWWW

BIG
WHEN I
WAS LITUWWW

LIKE MALCOLM IN THE MIDDULL
THAT WAS BIG
WHEN I
WAS LITUWWW

I mean, for fuck's sake.

Also, I seem to remember that Malcolm in the Middle enjoyed cult status at best.

[SteveDave]

When I was a worker (in 2009) m'colleagues wouldn't listen to BBC stations because "the DJs talk too much" so instead we had Capital on with it's talking adverts & shite like this-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbrWu8XyAcM

Taking one awful thing & putting it together with another awful thing. I was praying for deafness.

[kidsick5000]

I was praying for deafness.

I raise you this shitbucket of noise that I was subjected to whilst eating.
http://youtu.be/2jtaYf_FR2s
Creep mashed with Every Kind Of People.
Perhaps the effect was multiplied by the fact it was ruining my meal.
Revel in the wrongness

[SavageHedgehog]

Also, I seem to remember that Malcolm in the Middle enjoyed cult status at best.

Either way she wouldn't have been all that little, really, about 13

[easytarget]

(I'm American),

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7SIQohAl2o&feature=player_detailpage&t=1309

(sorry, that got in my head and this seems like the only way to get it out).

[WesterlyWinds]

I went into a shop about 5 minutes a go and had the misfortune of hearing this. Having not worked in the bar industry for two years now I had completely forgotten how dire some of this music can be.

From the inspiring and linguistically marvellous chorus:

I'm a party I'm gon' dance put your hands up on my body
On my body on my body put your hands up on my body
I'ma party I'm gon' dance put your hands up on my body
On my body on my body put your hands up on my body
I'ma party I'm gon' dance put your hands up on my body
On my body on my body put your hands up on my body
I'ma party I'm gon' dance put your hands up on my body
On my body on my body put your hands up on my body

To the rapping about the 'gyaldem'

When the suns out see the gyaldem too
I wake up do another gyaldem tune
I ride out on my Yamaha R6
When I reach in the dance, bring the gyaldem through

Gyaldem know so they wanna wind up
I get behind her and she get wile up
She back it up good but I try my luck
Wining up gyal is the vibe I love

Highly recommended.

[Tiny Poster]

Good old Wiley. He can drop tunes for the bloggers and for the party massive.

FIIIIIIIIYAAAAAHHHHH!

[Hank_Kingsley]

Has 'Alive with the glory of love' by Say Anything (okay, you look like Seth Macfarlane's fat younger brother) been mentioned?

Because that is the worst song ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7rYZjv3wNg

[kngen]

Fuck me that is awful. I thought it must be some British indie-landfill supermarket/mobile phone advert music, but it's on Doghouse Records, who I knew strayed pretty far from their early sXe hardcore roots, but jesus fucking christ! It's not easy to accept that, by buying some pretty ropey vegan straight-edge records 20 odd years ago, I've accidentally contributed to this being unleashed on the world. My sincere apologies to everyone!

[amoral]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7SIQohAl2o&feature=player_detailpage&t=1309

(sorry, that got in my head and this seems like the only way to get it out).

That made me very happy. Thank you.

[Spiteface]

Every single Blackout Crew single after "Put A Donk On It", despite being essentially the same thing, is utterly awful.

Ravers Binge. I rest my case

More than a few people here know my sneaking admiration (for want of a better word) for "Put A Donk On It", but I just find everything else intolerable.

I do like how the Oompa Loompa make-up they have in the Rumper Pumper video just emphasises how they all have the same identikit haircut though.

[Ein Sof]

Not a song, but this contains some of the worst incidental music I've ever heard:

Doctor Who - Attack of the Cybermen

[thraxx]

This is a masterpiece.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm_3l6dhYyA

[Beep Cleep Chimney]

This is pretty bloody awful.  It isn't the worst song I've ever heard, admittedly, but I heard this on the radio earlier and I swear I can only make out about 30% of the lyrics out of the entire song.

They're an English band, but the lyrics are largely incomprehensible (to my ears, at least).

See how many words YOOOOOU can decipher!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfBKqaVk2Co

[rjd2]

Those familiar with EMINEM will know the name.

Is such an insipid, dour cover needed? really Skylar? Really?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iE0ZLr2rFc

Its complete and utter shite obviously.

[Thomas]

This is pretty bloody awful.  It isn't the worst song I've ever heard, admittedly, but I heard this on the radio earlier and I swear I can only make out about 30% of the lyrics out of the entire song.

They're an English band, but the lyrics are largely incomprehensible (to my ears, at least).

See how many words YOOOOOU can decipher!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfBKqaVk2Co

Reminds me of this, as culled from the YouTube thread. Italian Addriano Celentano does a song what sounds like English but is actually just nonsense.[nb]and it's dayum cool.[/nb]

[jenna appleseed]

Judge Dread - Y Viva Suspenders

Just grim, most of it sounds if he's not even trying (pos not the original - same version as the one I've just heard on a mostly re-recordings v/a comp[nb]fucked if I'm going to start comparing youtube versions of this[/nb])

He sounds like a bored, seedy dirty rain coat type meets rat faced spiv, like he's going to try and sell dodgy watches under his coat at same time as flashing 'girls'. Doesn't manage to be sort of funny OTT saucy like his earlier singles I've heard just sexist.

[non capisco]

Reminds me of this, as culled from the YouTube thread. Italian Addriano Celentano does a song what sounds like English but is actually just nonsense.[nb]and it's dayum cool.[/nb]

Prisencolinensinainciusol is fucking banging, man. I love that track.

I even quite like the inexplicable Mike Reid cover, "Freezing Cold In 89 Twosos".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wr0QIXaoSY

It's fuck-all on the original, lacking the pounding rhythmic attack and replacing that grinding guitar with someone having a little inoffensive strum on a banjo or something, but I have a lot of time for the bored sounding backing singers and just the strangeness of its existence. An Italian making a gibberish song out of what he thinks English sounds like, reinterpreted by a cockney talking gibberish but in a weird transatlantic accent. I also heard Mike  Reid's version first on CaB radio and had no context to frame it in. I was fascinated by it. Why did he do this? And it eventually led me back to the original so I have a soft spot for it. T'rrrrrrrrific, Joe!

The Addriano Celentano track would be a great intro song for a band to walk on stage to. Either that or 'Enter Miami' by John Barry.

[doppelkorn]

Ooh ooh! I've got one of these.

Ufych Sormeer - Shun Loafer from the bizarrely titled album Crazy M.A.C. (Crazy Middle-Aged Cyborgs).

I discovered this on a cover CD from a French metal magazine in about 2006 and was amazed by it. They're Belgian which makes me think they wouldn't sing it in French or Flemish so what it is? The tune's not bad actually.

Verse 1 goes:

Come and jaw, chime and jessie,
I'm like a pea shot o' wally
And that's not in this teat on the wall to whoa.

Today we are the young friends and we are the DOMINOES!
Free yet and on sweet haiiiiiiiiiiiiir
right out of my earth cry....

And so on....

On the video he's lip synching deliberately different words which makes me think it's intentional gibberish.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I've been working this summer on an American farm in America (I'm American), and the people I work with blast the same country station (which plays the same songs over and over every day) every day. I truly loathe this shit, and I could post a dozen songs here that I've been subjected to in the past month, but this one struck me as particularly hollow and hateful. I'm not necessarily averse to country music, but this is not country music. I have no idea what this is. It's a special kind of pullution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HX4SfnVlP4

Hank Wiliams this ain't.

God, modern country music is diabolically bad, the bloke stuff especially. They always have one song on their album about how great the troops are, and 'murica and drinkin' a beer in their truck after hunting and reading the bible and watching the sun rise in freedomland, and of course it sells shitloads to ultra-conservatives who don't like other music because it's made by "un-American Jesus hatin' liberal vegan faggits" or "coloureds".

Toby Keith is one I particularly hate



American girls and American guys, will always stand up and salute.
We'll always recognize, when we see ol' glory flying,
There's a lot of men dead,
So we can sleep in peace at night when we lay down our heads.
My daddy served in the army where he lost his right eye,
But he flew a flag out in our yard 'til the day that he died.
He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me.
To grow up and live happy in the land of the free.

Now this nation that I love is fallin' under attack.
A mighty sucker-punch came flying in from somewhere in the back.
Soon as we could see clearly through our big black eye,
Man, we lit up your world like the fourth of July.

Hey, Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist.
And the eagle will fly and it's gonna be hell,
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell.
And it'll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you.
Ah, brought to you, courtesy of the red, white and blue.

Instrumental break.

Oh, justice will be served and the battle will rage:
This big dog will fight when you rattle his cage.
An' you'll be sorry that you messed with the U.S. of A.
'Cos we'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way.

Hey, Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist.
And the eagle will fly and it's gonna be hell,
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell.
And it'll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you.
Ah, brought to you, courtesy of the red, white and blue.

Oh, oh.
Of the red, white and blue.
Oh, hey, oh.
Of my Red, White and Blue.

[Neville Chamberlain]

The lyric "instrumental break" doesn't really scan, does it!

[Subtle Mocking]

The new Mighty Boosh track is horrific: http://www.xfm.co.uk/news/world-exclusive-first-play-new-mighty-boosh-track/

[Snobbish Puerile Wanker]

This is what happens when grindcore/extreme metal is pushed to it's absolute limit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfYdjmyE0zs

The new Mighty Boosh track is horrific: http://www.xfm.co.uk/news/world-exclusive-first-play-new-mighty-boosh-track/

So bad that it appears to no longer exist.