Author Topic: The worst song you've ever heard  (Read 32719 times)

non capisco

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #390 on: January 16, 2019, 03:26:50 PM »
"I Just Called to Say I Love You" - Stevie Wonder

It's a) shit as fuck, b) weirdly off kilter, just slightly too slow, so it has a plodding shitness about it from the very start, c) it's chord progression is so simple, unvaried and 'special school' in its execution that even Pete Waterman would demand a rewrite, and d) It reminds me of the bleak, bleak 1980's.

The crap little 'cha cha cha' flourish at the end amuses me greatly, though. Like Stevie got a new Casio keyboard for Christmas that had a 'cha cha cha' button on it that he thought he might as well make use of.

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momatt

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #391 on: January 16, 2019, 03:57:55 PM »
This thread is an utter bastard.
All of these shit songs are stuck in my head now.
Fucking hell.  Gonna do a flounce now.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #392 on: January 16, 2019, 04:46:39 PM »
Some more dreadful songs from opposite sides of the spectrum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGwB-f1xfxM

I suppose this song was made with the intention to be dreadful, still.......


Mother of god..

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #393 on: January 16, 2019, 05:15:14 PM »
Probably not the worst song ever, but Westlife were on TV the other day performing a new song co-written by Ed Sheeran which featured the lyrics:

“Cos you could have someone without a belly or a temper
Perfect teeth, hair growing where it's meant ta”

Sounds like something Kinky John’s boyband ManDate would have sung in Reeves and Mortimer.

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #394 on: January 16, 2019, 05:53:37 PM »
Wasn't the thread title a song by Kissing The Pink?

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #395 on: January 16, 2019, 09:40:50 PM »
Gotta be

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yBnIUX0QAE

Probably not the worst song I've ever heard but fucking hell I hate it so much. It was played on repeat for what felt like forever when it was released. And everyone who liked it was an unmitigated cunt, including my little sister

And,of course, used to soundtrack one of Jamie Oliver's fucking smug-fest adverts.

This is what we were meant to aspire to back then. No wonder the world is so fucked today.

Twed

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #396 on: January 16, 2019, 10:09:32 PM »
My mother's reaction to those adverts was that she imagines me having a life like that when I'm a little older

So I doubled down on being a misanthrope.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #397 on: January 16, 2019, 10:11:46 PM »
this week I am mostly hating the new single by M.I.A.



Always get her mixed up with Mya off of Ghetto Superstar.

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #398 on: January 16, 2019, 10:45:35 PM »
so many bad things at once, i cant find much that is worse than brokencyde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa6qpgLvH30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNXb5roCBUY

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #399 on: January 17, 2019, 07:56:05 AM »
I've said it before and I'll say it again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOMSZQ7RacQ

Eugh.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #400 on: January 17, 2019, 04:43:31 PM »
I've said it before and I'll say it again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOMSZQ7RacQ

Eugh.

The only song that's actually worse than that is this one:

Oxide & Neutrino - Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPgbITf6Pp4

Everything about it is shit.  The inane rapping.  The stupid sporadic squidgy bass.  The irrelevant Lock Stock sample.  The shitty melody played on a Casio keyboard's pizzicato strings voice.  The naff 80s 808 drums before they became retro-cool again.  The fact that it has "(Casualty)" in brackets at the end as a sub-title.

Even the name of the group's shit.

Dicky dicky dum, dicky dicky dum.  Fuck off.

boki

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #401 on: January 17, 2019, 04:47:34 PM »
so many bad things at once, i cant find much that is worse than brokencyde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa6qpgLvH30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNXb5roCBUY
That Crunkcore scene they begat yielded all manner of horror.  Check out Dot Dot Curve if you really hate your ears and mind.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #402 on: January 17, 2019, 04:57:56 PM »
Probably not the worst song ever, but Westlife were on TV the other day performing a new song co-written by Ed Sheeran which featured the lyrics:

“Cos you could have someone without a belly or a temper
Perfect teeth, hair growing where it's meant ta”

Sounds like something Kinky John’s boyband ManDate would have sung in Reeves and Mortimer.
I'm a big Westlife apologist and I think the song's okay, but I hate those lyrics. It's such a typical Ed Sheeran line and doesn't suit Westlife in the slightest. You can get away with that line if you're a hairy little scruffy goblin, but not if you look like any given member of Westlife.

Last time they had somebody famous come in and write them a big single it was Gary Barlow and they visibly did not like the song* so I don't know why they've gone back to that well.

*Lighthouse. Has a really incongruous and jarring middle 8 because Gary Barlow is beyond hopeless

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #403 on: January 17, 2019, 10:26:35 PM »
That Crunkcore scene they begat yielded all manner of horror.  Check out Dot Dot Curve if you really hate your ears and mind.


YES M A T E

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #404 on: January 17, 2019, 10:34:46 PM »
so many bad things at once, i cant find much that is worse than brokencyde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa6qpgLvH30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNXb5roCBUY

This thread been going nearly 6 years and I was just about to post that too. Weird. Unless it’s in every page and just can’t be arsed reading full thread. The most remarkable fact about Freaky is that the actual song barely scraps the top 4 of shit things about it after that cunt’s hair, the other cunt’s face and the creepy as fuck sexualisation of the girls in the video. Gross.

Still it’s not as bad as Going In For The Kill by her who’s mam was on The Bill. That voice! Christ. Makes me fucking murderous.

Golden E. Pump

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #405 on: January 18, 2019, 12:30:11 AM »
Still it’s not as bad as Going In For The Kill by her who’s mam was on The Bill. That voice! Christ. Makes me fucking murderous.

I hate that song and her voice, but 'Bulletproof' was a bona fide banger.

famethrowa

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #406 on: January 18, 2019, 12:41:03 AM »
I hate that song and her voice, but 'Bulletproof' was a bona fide banger.

What does she do now? Does she have a job? Does she do anything??

gmoney

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #407 on: January 18, 2019, 04:41:39 AM »
She did another album, it was great! Stop slagging off La Roux!

Vodka Margarine

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #408 on: January 18, 2019, 09:35:26 AM »
The only song that's actually worse than that is this one:

Oxide & Neutrino - Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPgbITf6Pp4

Everything about it is shit.  The inane rapping.  The stupid sporadic squidgy bass.  The irrelevant Lock Stock sample.  The shitty melody played on a Casio keyboard's pizzicato strings voice.  The naff 80s 808 drums before they became retro-cool again.  The fact that it has "(Casualty)" in brackets at the end as a sub-title.

Even the name of the group's shit.

Dicky dicky dum, dicky dicky dum.  Fuck off.

It is of course a load of bobbins but it is also rather wonderful. I love the sheer balls of it and the fact two gormless seventeen year olds got it to number one.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #409 on: January 18, 2019, 12:21:09 PM »
It is of course a load of bobbins but it is also rather wonderful. I love the sheer balls of it and the fact two gormless seventeen year olds got it to number one.

Never heard this before and its unapologetic shitness has cheered me up immensely, particularly the bit where someone tries to play the casualty theme tune on a keyboard. However, I never want to hear it again: it has given me everything I need from it.

hamfist

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #410 on: January 18, 2019, 11:43:37 PM »
https://youtu.be/G7QME0bzZuA

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I am sorry.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #411 on: January 20, 2019, 07:43:30 AM »
Oxide from Oxide and Neutrino did a performance at my school. Afterwards there was a Q&A. One child said: "Oxide, where's Neutrino?" Oxide said: "He's in the mixing studio, making up some new mixes."

That's my Oxide and Neutrino story.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #412 on: January 20, 2019, 01:08:12 PM »

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #413 on: January 20, 2019, 01:54:45 PM »
Alex James & Betty Boo's sideproject Wigwam was pretty awful, at least lyrically.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPEcgd6FTeU

Jockice

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #414 on: January 20, 2019, 02:19:17 PM »
It's still Shiny Happy People then?

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #415 on: January 20, 2019, 03:58:43 PM »
^ no cause it is a really good one

Vodka Margarine

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #416 on: January 20, 2019, 08:30:16 PM »
It's still Shiny Happy People then?

It's not even in the top 10 of worst R.E.M. songs, bhuna boy.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #417 on: January 20, 2019, 08:47:40 PM »
It's not even in the top 10 of worst R.E.M. songs, bhuna boy.

It's not even NOT in my list of top 10 best songs generally!

buzby

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #418 on: January 20, 2019, 10:56:52 PM »
She did another album, it was great! Stop slagging off La Roux!
She did backing vocals on a couple of tracks on New Order's Music Complete album too.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #419 on: January 21, 2019, 01:59:03 AM »
Still it’s not as bad as Going In For The Kill by her who’s mam was on The Bill. That voice! Christ. Makes me fucking murderous.

Oh but this remix is fucking ace.