Topic: The worst song you've ever heard

[popcorn]

Guardian - Oxide & Neutrino: how we made Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty)

[momatt]

Guardian - Oxide & Neutrino: how we made Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty)

That's more interesting than I expected!
The song's still crap, but not bad for a couple of 17 year-olds mucking about.

[kalowski]

What am I seeing at 43 seconds into that video?

Black Cockings.

[alan nagsworth]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2vA-joMEsg

I win.

I just want to thank you for this, since no one else has. It's fucking excellent.

However, in the same vein of middle-aged women making hideous, sassy tunes, you'll never beat this:

Lisa Gail Allred - 3 Second Rule

The bridge before the last chorus is utterly unreal, but you have to stick out the whole thing to really get the impact of it.

It's gotta be said, I absolutely love this sort of music. The sort where it's so hilarious in so many ways within the confines of a conventional pop song structure that you find yourself unable to stop listening. But, of course these two have the added benefit of a mesmerising video. "3 Second Rule" even has a cheeky camel toe appearance at 1:25.

[Captain Z]

Guardian - Oxide & Neutrino: how we made Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty)

There was a pretty positive review of the song from the guy who blogs reviewing every UK number 1:
http://freakytrigger.co.uk/popular/2015/03/oxide-and-neutrino-bound-4-da-reload-casualty/#debug5

The reviews have gone a little up themselves since he stopped doing concise, blind reviews and dedicated himself to essays about the song's place in popular culture, but he writes with passion and can usually unveil an interesting perspective on records you may have dismissed in the past.

I hated the song at the time but that was when pop music mattered to me and I was probably annoyed it was keeping some mediocre dance track off the top. Looking back I'm quite positive towards it and appreciate its ramshackle nature, something about it just worked. I vividly remember around a year later Sara Cox played the explicit version in the middle of the morning by mistake, and had to cut it off halfway through and apologise.

[PlanktonSideburns]

christ alive, that black stockings thing is pure tim and eric

[NoSleep]

Worst songs I've ever heard have got to be the ones that turn up on "reference" audio albums played by session musicians and setting new standards of blandness for the world:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MYZMhFW2SI&list=PLFPdh-ASGEoy3k4D5hLIaptvMuS7H-rQ9

Music whose only purpose is to regard how "well-recorded" it is. Vomit.

[momatt]

Music whose only purpose is to regard how "well-recorded" it is. Vomit.

No doubt these are terribly dull to listen to, but they're doing their job aren't they?

[Cuellar]

Worst songs I've ever heard have got to be the ones that turn up on "reference" audio albums played by session musicians and setting new standards of blandness for the world:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MYZMhFW2SI&list=PLFPdh-ASGEoy3k4D5hLIaptvMuS7H-rQ9

Music whose only purpose is to regard how "well-recorded" it is. Vomit.

Imagine being one of those session musicians. It'd be fucking magic. Barely have to think. Barely have to turn up. Just bash it out. Of course you'd go mad. Like being in one of those ludicrously successful tribute bands.

[NoSleep]

No doubt these are terribly dull to listen to, but they're doing their job aren't they?

If they were more than perfunctory I wouldn't have posted them here. As it is they are smug & hateful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SKi0cB9IRw

[the]

Ideal 'telly breakdown' music though. :)

There should be a session band like that called Temporary Fault

[Panbaams]

"To book the Away Boyz for gigs events etc please email bobby@theawayboyz.com"

No rush.

[momatt]

smug & hateful

Ha ha, I see your point.  But I quite liked this tune!
Made me imagine a tough, gritty, uncompromising 80s cop drama.  He's a maverick renegade who doesn't play by the rules.  With a hat-wearing monkey sidekick.

[NoSleep]

Ideal 'telly breakdown' music though. :)

There should be a session band like that called Temporary Fault

Basically "nobody's listening, so..." music.

[Twed]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2vA-joMEsg

I win.

Shit, that reminded me of Puff Puff Give. I'm sure that has been mentioned in this thread already, but fuck those cunts. I refuse to even give them the benefit of the doubt; they are bad people. Anybody that performatively crusty is one puff away from donning a suit and buying out a block of flats for redevelopment.

[Twed]

Hah. Sixty-seconds of Googling to confirm that the lead singer is a one-person think tank: http://empowersoundstudios.com/category/blog/

"5 Stategies to Help Make Your Early spring Holiday getaway Unforgettable" Yeah you would strategise a fucking holiday wouldn't you

Increase your planting season break spending plan

If I sat down for a thousand years I would not be able to come up with an insulting characterisation as good as this real quote.

[Bently Sheds]

Has anyone mentioned Ice JJ Fish yet?

https://youtu.be/iq_d8VSM0nw

[phantom_power]

Hah. Sixty-seconds of Googling to confirm that the lead singer is a one-person think tank: http://empowersoundstudios.com/category/blog/

"5 Stategies to Help Make Your Early spring Holiday getaway Unforgettable" Yeah you would strategise a fucking holiday wouldn't you

If I sat down for a thousand years I would not be able to come up with an insulting characterisation as good as this real quote.

HannaH? Fuck off

[buzby]

The collaboration nobody was waiting for, Ellie Goulding and Clean Bandit - Mama
"That 'Despacito' was a massive worldwide hit, wasn't it? Let's make something that sounds just like it, we can even get Luis Fonsi in. Who is available to guest on it? Glynne? Welch? Oh well, how about Ellie Goulding? She must be available, all she's done recently is shampoo adverts."

[A Hat Like That]

That's more interesting than I expected!
The song's still crap, but not bad for a couple of 17 year-olds mucking about.

I second that.

And also for

"We’re both parents now, and they know Bound 4 Da Reload on the school run. There’s usually one person who’ll ask: “Can you DJ at our daughter’s birthday party?”"

[McFlymo]

Hah. Sixty-seconds of Googling to confirm that the lead singer is a one-person think tank: http://empowersoundstudios.com/category/blog/

"5 Stategies to Help Make Your Early spring Holiday getaway Unforgettable" Yeah you would strategise a fucking holiday wouldn't you

If I sat down for a thousand years I would not be able to come up with an insulting characterisation as good as this real quote.

Is this the Puff Puff Give girl, you're talking about?

[Twed]

Yes

[pupshaw]

Is this the Puff Puff Give girl, you're talking about?

That whole blog seems to have been written by some chinese essay mill. The consistent grammatical faux-pas shows it somewhere between a poor non-native english speaker and a good machine translation. That someone would use such obvious crap as a business showcase rings a few alarm bells

[Panbaams]

Milo Yiannopoulos finds God himself.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

The kid from Terminator 2's cover of "People Are Strange"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3uiWlJDkpQ

[Avril Lavigne]

The kid from Terminator 2's cover of "People Are Strange"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3uiWlJDkpQ

Thanks for posting this, it's absolutely cracking me up.

[kalowski]

The kid from Terminator 2's cover of "People Are Strange"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3uiWlJDkpQ

There isn't a score out of ten low enough to rate that.

[Phil_A]

I'm not sure anything could top Val Kilmer's take on "After The Goldrush".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOxcnOdP0Zc

I dunno what it is with celebrity vanity music projects and Neil Young covers. David Duchovny had a go as well, and ohh boy was that a treat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HazVx3y--qU

[DrGreggles]

New entry:
The Danish song from tonight's Eurovision.

Fucking rotten.

[poodlefaker]

Talking of Neil Young, A Man Needs a Maid is pretty high on my list.