Author Topic: The worst song you've ever heard (Read 38225 times)

a duncandisorderly · « **Reply #420 on:** January 21, 2019, 02:06:31 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on January 16, 2019, 05:53:37 PM

Wasn't the thread title a song by Kissing The Pink?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuRdrAoroSw

I lasted less than ninety seconds. fucking hell.

famethrowa · « **Reply #421 on:** January 21, 2019, 03:14:47 AM »

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on January 21, 2019, 02:06:31 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuRdrAoroSw

I lasted less than ninety seconds. fucking hell.

Good lord that is awful. Games Without Frontiers at the special school.

a duncandisorderly · « **Reply #422 on:** January 21, 2019, 04:32:45 AM »

I remember KTP being interviewed in early 1983 on that radio-1 show that was on saturday afternoons, & claiming stockhausen among their influences. I bet I still have it on cassette somewhere... I think bauhaus were on the same show & I remember a fondness for them at the time- they were like a comedy version of the birthday party.

Phoenix Lazarus · « **Reply #423 on:** January 21, 2019, 06:45:22 AM »

Quote from: famethrowa on January 21, 2019, 03:14:47 AM

Good lord that is awful. Games Without Frontiers at the special school.

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on January 21, 2019, 02:06:31 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuRdrAoroSw

I lasted less than ninety seconds. fucking hell.

You're a couple of Mr Blunts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXtC9qNprFA

famethrowa · « **Reply #424 on:** January 21, 2019, 07:13:17 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on January 21, 2019, 06:45:22 AM

You're a couple of Mr Blunts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXtC9qNprFA

Actually that one's not too bad

phantom_power · « **Reply #425 on:** January 21, 2019, 10:34:58 AM »

Is there a thread for "Rude band names that aren't actually rude"?

Phoenix Lazarus · « **Reply #426 on:** January 21, 2019, 05:06:24 PM »

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on January 21, 2019, 04:32:45 AM

bauhaus were on the same show & I remember a fondness for them at the time- they were like a comedy version of the birthday party.

Loved their cover of Ziggy Stardust in late '82. The lead singer even looked like early-70s Bowie.

Twed · « **Reply #427 on:** January 26, 2019, 05:28:48 PM »

American Authors - Best Day Of My Life

Perfectly crafted to irritate me. The whooping. The "live, laugh, love" audience it appeals to. The band name.

flotemysost · « **Reply #428 on:** January 26, 2019, 11:21:36 PM »

Not sure if this one's been posted already, but I find Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus so offensively anodyne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA

Not being a snob, I love me some meaningless bubblegum pop, but it's just such an utterly bland, unlovable song. I can feel the synapses of my brain withering as it plays.

Jessie J, who wrote it, said it paid her rent for a year or two. BUT AT WHAT COST TO THE REST OF US

purlieu · « **Reply #429 on:** January 27, 2019, 01:13:31 AM »

Quote from: hummingofevil on January 17, 2019, 10:34:46 PM

This thread been going nearly 6 years and I was just about to post that too. Weird. Unless it’s in every page and just can’t be arsed reading full thread.

Hah, me too. Just read the whole thread and no Brokencyde until this page. And yes, they were a fucking abomination. Up there with the other worst song mentioned in-thread so far, #SELFIE by the Chainsmokers. Repulsive. And, of course, Ringo's 1981 b-side Drumming is My Madness.

I won't hear a bad word said about Oxide & Neutrino's Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty). That said, their follow-up single, a 'cover' of The Prodigy's 'No Good 4 Me', starts with the lyric "Bound for da bound bound we're back again" which always strikes me as the lamest lyric of all time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY8f5mQkrZ0

Other songs that make me shudder:
Head Automatica - Beating Heart Baby https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zINlfg0aGqw

The Mavericks - Dance the Night Away https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UajuBAUkBs

Len - Steal My Sunshine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1fzJ_AYajA

Still, the worst song ever recorded has yet to be mentioned, strangely: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK_LN3XEcnw

chveik · « **Reply #430 on:** January 27, 2019, 01:52:20 AM »

hey ladies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9hazmsUxrM

there's more where that came from

FerriswheelBueller · « **Reply #431 on:** January 27, 2019, 04:01:13 AM »

Quote from: Nmkl Pkjl Ftmsch on June 17, 2013, 08:47:21 PM

Yellow Submarine by the Beatles.

It simply provokes nausea.

He was right then, and he’s right today.

PowerButchi · « **Reply #432 on:** January 27, 2019, 05:51:59 AM »

Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) by Toby Keith is dire on 5,000 levels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruNrdmjcNTc

Phoenix Lazarus · « **Reply #433 on:** January 27, 2019, 06:31:21 AM »

Caramba-Ralph & Rolph.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOOrI7Dbd5I&index=60&list=FLdU5Qq7wFpABTOqejBdna4g&t=0s

Better Midlands · « **Reply #434 on:** January 27, 2019, 08:22:47 AM »

Quote from: famethrowa on January 21, 2019, 03:14:47 AM

Good lord that is awful. Games Without Frontiers at the special school.

That's about right, this and the other one posted by them sound like the inspiration for Bastille or Everything Everything, not sure which is which and I can't be bothered to look.

Big Man Restless by KTP is a banger though

https://youtu.be/wz9YDH-zvD4

DrGreggles · « **Reply #435 on:** January 27, 2019, 08:50:55 AM »

Quote from: purlieu on January 27, 2019, 01:13:31 AM

The Mavericks - Dance the Night Away

I fucking despise that song.

Chriddof · « **Reply #436 on:** January 27, 2019, 09:06:54 AM »

I genuinely like that Kissing The Pink track. They're being a bit too overly-quirky in the video and the bloke singing could tone down that melodramatic delivery a few notches, but I like the lyrical conceit and think it's much better than Games Without bleeding Frontiers. I'm not getting the supposed Bastille influence at all, either.

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on January 27, 2019, 06:31:21 AM

Caramba-Ralph & Rolph.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOOrI7Dbd5I&index=60&list=FLdU5Qq7wFpABTOqejBdna4g&t=0s

I like that one too. In fact I've known about it for a while now - it's one of those sorts of novelty songs that are so demented it couldn't be any kind of hit, and the fact it ended up as the B-side to a release of everyone's favourite racist 80s advert theme is astounding.

Wretched as "Dance The Night Away" is, it was eventually used as the perfect "shit local radio" music bed for that Big Train sketch when Simon Pegg's DJ character runs out of Batman puns. One thing I've always liked about it is that Pegg just keeps mumbling stuff like "Batty... bat... runs his car on... bat petrol..." well after the vocals have started, which displays a quite wonderful amount of contempt for that pile of hollowed-out-corpse shite in both the universe of the sketch and in real life.

flotemysost · « **Reply #437 on:** January 27, 2019, 10:39:21 AM »

Quote from: chveik on January 27, 2019, 01:52:20 AM

hey ladies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9hazmsUxrM

there's more where that came from

I actually have a bit of a soft spot for this one, I mean it's clearly tripe but it sort of revels in its awfulness, you've gotta admire that. I like Akon's mournful soul-baring attempts to not be disrespectful, as a counterpoint to Guetta's smug gurning.

Just remembered another, fairly recent one: Barns Courntney - Glitter and Gold: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrV90gXmOpA

The whole thing just drips with I AM A RAW, AUTHENTIC YET SENSITIVE MAN!! He's got an interesting voice, but it's just so contrived - the Viking stompy beat, the godawful lyrics, the video ('I'm young and attractive enough to be at this cool party but I'm actually deeper than that, which is why I keep having flashbacks to randomly-selected library footage.')

icehaven · « **Reply #438 on:** January 27, 2019, 10:47:29 AM »

Quote from: Golden E. Pump on January 18, 2019, 12:30:11 AM

I hate that song and her voice, but 'Bulletproof' was a bona fide banger.

I'd say Bulletproof belongs in the "Great songs ruined by the singer" thread.

icehaven · « **Reply #439 on:** January 27, 2019, 10:51:43 AM »

Quote from: hamfist on January 18, 2019, 11:43:37 PM

https://youtu.be/G7QME0bzZuA

DJ Bobo‘s ‚Chihuahua‘

I am sorry.

The first library I worked in was on the first floor of a community centre and the hall underneath was rented out for children's birthday parties most Saturday afternoons. That was one of the DJ's playlist staples so every week we got hear that booming through the floor, sometimes twice. For 8 years.

hermitical · « **Reply #440 on:** January 27, 2019, 12:55:51 PM »

Quote from: PowerButchi on January 27, 2019, 05:51:59 AM

Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) by Toby Keith is dire on 5,000 levels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruNrdmjcNTc

Our values are under attack....

Phil_A · « **Reply #441 on:** January 27, 2019, 02:22:07 PM »

Jess Conrad's Black Stockings, the musical equivalent of Erotic Night at Barron's Nightclub.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ0XboVlJmM

Put your black stockings on
It really turns me on
Put your black stockings on
This is your hot legs song

Put your black stockings on
It really turns me on
Put your black stockings on
And I will whistle you on

(Rapping)
All these women walking on the street
Wear black stocking when they're on the beat
All the nurses, not you male ones
Have a lot of fun with your black stockings on

Keeeep them ooooooon!

Yeah...I like it...

Bear in mind this was recorded for a football-themed charity album(the same one that gave us the glory of Soccer Superstar),

I'm also not sure if the owner of that channel is an unhinged fan or Conrad talking about himself in the third person.

TheShowbiz11
1 year ago
MANY Thanks Graham for your welcome comment. Black Stockings was released on every format as a single/s.. EP's..& on albums to keep up Jess Conrad OBE'S history of recording the worse ever songs. Jess of course had three songs in Kenny Everett's World Worse top ten which he is very proud of with the money it made him.

purlieu · « **Reply #442 on:** January 27, 2019, 02:28:15 PM »

What am I seeing at 43 seconds into that video?

Lordofthefiles · « **Reply #443 on:** January 27, 2019, 02:59:28 PM »

"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"

I haven't even got the words...

sweeper · « **Reply #444 on:** January 27, 2019, 03:27:17 PM »

I didn't realise it until a couple of weeks ago, but it's 'Down to Earth' by Curiosity Killed the Cat. It's so pleased with itself, and the opening lines loop in my mind in the dead of night.

When I eventually sleep, in my nightmares, I'm saddled to a drunk executive on the dark streets of 1980s Soho, who insists he knows a 'great little wine bar around here somewhere.' He talks excitedly about 'midnight pastures' and he won't stop dancing, he will never stop dancing.

DrGreggles · « **Reply #445 on:** January 27, 2019, 05:01:10 PM »

Quote from: Phil_A on January 27, 2019, 02:22:07 PM

Jess Conrad's Black Stockings, the musical equivalent of Erotic Night at Barron's Nightclub.

You've just reminded me about his Soccer Superstar:
https://youtu.be/zHEvvpazUcI

Fucking rotten.

Utter Shit · « **Reply #446 on:** January 31, 2019, 10:36:19 AM »

Quote from: purlieu on January 27, 2019, 01:13:31 AM

The Mavericks - Dance the Night Away https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UajuBAUkBs

Bloody love this. Unapologetically cheesy and shit. Great stuff.

SpiderChrist · « **Reply #447 on:** January 31, 2019, 10:44:34 AM »

Any tune that carries the stench of Steinman is abhorrent to my ears.

Golden E. Pump · « **Reply #448 on:** January 31, 2019, 10:49:47 AM »

'I am a Cider Drinker' by the Wurzels has got to be a shout. I hate novelty songs, I have an aversion to folk music at the best of times. Combining the two with a Somerset accent hideously forced down your oesophagus with a drink that tastes like piss just reinforces its utter bollocksity.

Ooh arr ooh arr grave.

Sebastian Cobb · « **Reply #449 on:** January 31, 2019, 11:36:00 AM »

Hearing Whigfield's saturday night still provokes a visceral response.

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Author Topic: The worst song you've ever heard (Read 38225 times)