Author Topic: The worst song you've ever heard  (Read 34122 times)

a duncandisorderly

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #420 on: January 21, 2019, 02:06:31 AM »
Wasn't the thread title a song by Kissing The Pink?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuRdrAoroSw

I lasted less than ninety seconds. fucking hell.

famethrowa

  • mere rhetorical frippery
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #421 on: January 21, 2019, 03:14:47 AM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuRdrAoroSw

I lasted less than ninety seconds. fucking hell.

Good lord that is awful. Games Without Frontiers at the special school.

a duncandisorderly

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #422 on: January 21, 2019, 04:32:45 AM »
I remember KTP being interviewed in early 1983 on that radio-1 show that was on saturday afternoons, & claiming stockhausen among their influences. I bet I still have it on cassette somewhere... I think bauhaus were on the same show & I remember a fondness for them at the time- they were like a comedy version of the birthday party.

Phoenix Lazarus

  • Why bother writing stuff below your avatar?
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #423 on: January 21, 2019, 06:45:22 AM »
Good lord that is awful. Games Without Frontiers at the special school.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuRdrAoroSw

I lasted less than ninety seconds. fucking hell.

You're a couple of Mr Blunts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXtC9qNprFA

famethrowa

  • mere rhetorical frippery
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #424 on: January 21, 2019, 07:13:17 AM »

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #425 on: January 21, 2019, 10:34:58 AM »
Is there a thread for "Rude band names that aren't actually rude"?

Phoenix Lazarus

  • Why bother writing stuff below your avatar?
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #426 on: January 21, 2019, 05:06:24 PM »
bauhaus were on the same show & I remember a fondness for them at the time- they were like a comedy version of the birthday party.

Loved their cover of Ziggy Stardust in late '82.  The lead singer even looked like early-70s Bowie.

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #427 on: January 26, 2019, 05:28:48 PM »
American Authors - Best Day Of My Life

Perfectly crafted to irritate me. The whooping. The "live, laugh, love" audience it appeals to. The band name.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #428 on: January 26, 2019, 11:21:36 PM »
Not sure if this one's been posted already, but I find Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus so offensively anodyne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA

Not being a snob, I love me some meaningless bubblegum pop, but it's just such an utterly bland, unlovable song. I can feel the synapses of my brain withering as it plays.

Jessie J, who wrote it, said it paid her rent for a year or two. BUT AT WHAT COST TO THE REST OF US

purlieu

  • Woo-hoo, Lord Nimon!
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #429 on: January 27, 2019, 01:13:31 AM »
This thread been going nearly 6 years and I was just about to post that too. Weird. Unless it’s in every page and just can’t be arsed reading full thread.

Hah, me too. Just read the whole thread and no Brokencyde until this page. And yes, they were a fucking abomination. Up there with the other worst song mentioned in-thread so far, #SELFIE by the Chainsmokers. Repulsive. And, of course, Ringo's 1981 b-side Drumming is My Madness.

I won't hear a bad word said about Oxide & Neutrino's Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty). That said, their follow-up single, a 'cover' of The Prodigy's 'No Good 4 Me', starts with the lyric "Bound for da bound bound we're back again" which always strikes me as the lamest lyric of all time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY8f5mQkrZ0

Other songs that make me shudder:
Head Automatica - Beating Heart Baby https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zINlfg0aGqw

The Mavericks - Dance the Night Away https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UajuBAUkBs

Len - Steal My Sunshine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1fzJ_AYajA


Still, the worst song ever recorded has yet to be mentioned, strangely: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK_LN3XEcnw

chveik

  • I will monetize your eyeballs
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #430 on: January 27, 2019, 01:52:20 AM »
hey ladies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9hazmsUxrM

there's more where that came from

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #431 on: January 27, 2019, 04:01:13 AM »
Yellow Submarine by the Beatles.

It simply provokes nausea.

He was right then, and he’s right today.

PowerButchi

  • The Bronzed Adrian Adonis
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #432 on: January 27, 2019, 05:51:59 AM »
Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) by Toby Keith is dire on 5,000 levels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruNrdmjcNTc

Phoenix Lazarus

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Better Midlands

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #434 on: January 27, 2019, 08:22:47 AM »
Good lord that is awful. Games Without Frontiers at the special school.

That's about right, this and the other one posted by them sound like the inspiration for Bastille or Everything Everything, not sure which is which and I can't be bothered to look.

Big Man Restless by KTP is a banger though

https://youtu.be/wz9YDH-zvD4

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #435 on: January 27, 2019, 08:50:55 AM »
The Mavericks - Dance the Night Away

I fucking despise that song.

Chriddof

  • Things start to happen!
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #436 on: January 27, 2019, 09:06:54 AM »
I genuinely like that Kissing The Pink track. They're being a bit too overly-quirky in the video and the bloke singing could tone down that melodramatic delivery a few notches, but I like the lyrical conceit and think it's much better than Games Without bleeding Frontiers. I'm not getting the supposed Bastille influence at all, either.

Caramba-Ralph & Rolph.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOOrI7Dbd5I&index=60&list=FLdU5Qq7wFpABTOqejBdna4g&t=0s


I like that one too. In fact I've known about it for a while now - it's one of those sorts of novelty songs that are so demented it couldn't be any kind of hit, and the fact it ended up as the B-side to a release of everyone's favourite racist 80s advert theme is astounding.

Wretched as "Dance The Night Away" is, it was eventually used as the perfect "shit local radio" music bed for that Big Train sketch when Simon Pegg's DJ character runs out of Batman puns. One thing I've always liked about it is that Pegg just keeps mumbling stuff like "Batty... bat... runs his car on... bat petrol..." well after the vocals have started, which displays a quite wonderful amount of contempt for that pile of hollowed-out-corpse shite in both the universe of the sketch and in real life.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #437 on: January 27, 2019, 10:39:21 AM »
hey ladies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9hazmsUxrM

there's more where that came from

I actually have a bit of a soft spot for this one, I mean it's clearly tripe but it sort of revels in its awfulness, you've gotta admire that. I like Akon's mournful soul-baring attempts to not be disrespectful, as a counterpoint to Guetta's smug gurning.

Just remembered another, fairly recent one: Barns Courntney - Glitter and Gold: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrV90gXmOpA

The whole thing just drips with I AM A RAW, AUTHENTIC YET SENSITIVE MAN!! He's got an interesting voice, but it's just so contrived - the Viking stompy beat, the godawful lyrics, the video ('I'm young and attractive enough to be at this cool party but I'm actually deeper than that, which is why I keep having flashbacks to randomly-selected library footage.')


icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #438 on: January 27, 2019, 10:47:29 AM »
I hate that song and her voice, but 'Bulletproof' was a bona fide banger.

I'd say Bulletproof belongs in the "Great songs ruined by the singer" thread.

icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #439 on: January 27, 2019, 10:51:43 AM »
https://youtu.be/G7QME0bzZuA

DJ Bobo‘s ‚Chihuahua‘

I am sorry.

The first library I worked in was on the first floor of a community centre and the hall underneath was rented out for children's birthday parties most Saturday afternoons. That was one of the DJ's playlist staples so every week we got hear that booming through the floor, sometimes twice. For 8 years.

hermitical

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Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #440 on: January 27, 2019, 12:55:51 PM »
Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) by Toby Keith is dire on 5,000 levels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruNrdmjcNTc

Our values are under attack....

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #441 on: January 27, 2019, 02:22:07 PM »
Jess Conrad's Black Stockings, the musical equivalent of Erotic Night at Barron's Nightclub.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ0XboVlJmM

Put your black stockings on
It really turns me on
Put your black stockings on
This is your hot legs song

Put your black stockings on
It really turns me on
Put your black stockings on
And I will whistle you on

(Rapping)
All these women walking on the street
Wear black stocking when they're on the beat
All the nurses, not you male ones
Have a lot of fun with your black stockings on

Keeeep them ooooooon!

Yeah...I like it...


Bear in mind this was recorded for a football-themed charity album(the same one that gave us the glory of Soccer Superstar),

I'm also not sure if the owner of that channel is an unhinged fan or Conrad talking about himself in the third person.


TheShowbiz11
1 year ago
MANY Thanks Graham for your welcome comment. Black Stockings was released on every format as a single/s.. EP's..& on albums to keep up Jess Conrad OBE'S history of recording the worse ever songs. Jess of course had three songs in Kenny Everett's World Worse top ten which he is very proud of with the money it made him.


purlieu

  • Woo-hoo, Lord Nimon!
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #442 on: January 27, 2019, 02:28:15 PM »
What am I seeing at 43 seconds into that video?

Lordofthefiles

  • A dog with two dicks or a dick with two dogs
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #443 on: January 27, 2019, 02:59:28 PM »
"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"

I haven't even got the words...

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #444 on: January 27, 2019, 03:27:17 PM »
I didn't realise it until a couple of weeks ago, but it's 'Down to Earth' by Curiosity Killed the Cat. It's so pleased with itself, and the opening lines loop in my mind in the dead of night.

When I eventually sleep, in my nightmares, I'm saddled to a drunk executive on the dark streets of 1980s Soho, who insists he knows a 'great little wine bar around here somewhere.' He talks excitedly about 'midnight pastures' and he won't stop dancing, he will never stop dancing.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #445 on: January 27, 2019, 05:01:10 PM »
Jess Conrad's Black Stockings, the musical equivalent of Erotic Night at Barron's Nightclub.

You've just reminded me about his Soccer Superstar:
https://youtu.be/zHEvvpazUcI

Fucking rotten.

Utter Shit

  • Snotty Bumstead
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #446 on: January 31, 2019, 10:36:19 AM »

The Mavericks - Dance the Night Away https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UajuBAUkBs


Bloody love this. Unapologetically cheesy and shit. Great stuff.

SpiderChrist

  • IS THIS A PIECE OF YOUR BRAIN?
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #447 on: January 31, 2019, 10:44:34 AM »
Any tune that carries the stench of Steinman is abhorrent to my ears.

Golden E. Pump

  • Basically Morris Day.
Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #448 on: January 31, 2019, 10:49:47 AM »
'I am a Cider Drinker' by the Wurzels has got to be a shout. I hate novelty songs, I have an aversion to folk music at the best of times. Combining the two with a Somerset accent hideously forced down your oesophagus with a drink that tastes like piss just reinforces its utter bollocksity.

Ooh arr ooh arr grave.

Re: The worst song you've ever heard
« Reply #449 on: January 31, 2019, 11:36:00 AM »
Hearing Whigfield's saturday night still provokes a visceral response.