Films that are well boring

[grassbath]

Actually, I'm just gonna say it:  2001: A Space Odyssey.

Now, I really, really like it.  Very good movie.  But I've seen it twice the whole way through and that was more than enough for me, thank you.  The original Solaris likewise just had me sitting there thinking "I know it's good, it's doing everything right, but I'd rather be doing something else".  Much like it's possible for bad movies to be entertaining, it's equally possible for good movies not to be.

For me there's one scene that drags in 2001 - going out to fix the part of the ship that HAL has identified as faulty. I suppose the silence, blackness and tension, marked only by the astronaut's heavy breathing, is reflective of the endless and imminent ceasing of existence when one fails to inseminate[nb]that's how I've always seen it anyway[/nb], and in that way it's significant. But it's still a handful of lingering shots too long for me to watch without thinking "come on, hurry up."

[Petey Pate]

Blow Up

I did manage to sit through this in its entirety.  I do enjoy the scenes in Solaris and 2001 where nothing much happens, but they were in space (and Tokyo).  1960s London is nowhere near as interesting, especially when your main character is pretty much an irredeemable dick.  I honestly think a large part of its success at the time was down to the nudity and exposed breasts.  The one interesting scene is when you see The Yardbirds play to a completely static emotionless audience, where if you look closely you can spot Michael Palin.

[Miasma]

Not really going out on a limb here, but bloody hell was 'Lincoln' dry...  nowt wrong with the performances etc, but I just couldn't muster the perseverance for it.

I tend to be unfairly harsh with flicks though; if it doesn't totally grip me thoroughout, the spell is broken and my attention will wander.  I don't need (or want) non stop scenes of peril, just to be engaged.

[buttgammon]

Blow Up

I did manage to sit through this in its entirety.  I do enjoy the scenes in Solaris and 2001 where nothing much happens, but they were in space (and Tokyo).  1960s London is nowhere near as interesting, especially when your main character is pretty much an irredeemable dick.  I honestly think a large part of its success at the time was down to the nudity and exposed breasts.  The one interesting scene is when you see The Yardbirds play to a completely static emotionless audience, where if you look closely you can spot Michael Palin.

Agreed. I do really like Antonioni and I genuinely love L'avventura, which lots of people find boring, but I just didn't find anything interesting about this. As you say, the protagonist is a total wanker. Beyond that, I don't see much bar a snapshot of a period which I don't find particularly interesting. It's like L'avventura without the beautiful Italian scenery, the interesting ambiguities or the cool moodiness.

[zomgmouse]

Blow Up

I did manage to sit through this in its entirety.  I do enjoy the scenes in Solaris and 2001 where nothing much happens, but they were in space (and Tokyo).  1960s London is nowhere near as interesting, especially when your main character is pretty much an irredeemable dick.  I honestly think a large part of its success at the time was down to the nudity and exposed breasts.  The one interesting scene is when you see The Yardbirds play to a completely static emotionless audience, where if you look closely you can spot Michael Palin.

Michael Palin?! I'll have to look more closely if I rewatch this.
To be honest, it did drag, but I didn't mind so much because there was some mystery and I did find 1960s London to be a nice hook.
Zabriskie Point, on the other hand...

[Jim_MacLaine]

Fifteen minutes is just about the length of the pre-credits sequence, so if you turned off after that you basically missed the entire point of the film.

Thankfully.

[Glebe]

Michael Palin?! I'll have to look more closely if I rewatch this.

Watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on Blu-ray the other night, watching the deleted scenes my brother copped that the guy doing the unused introduction behind the desk is Michael Palin! Felt like an idiot for not immediately identifying him.

[billtheburger]

Dr Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzivago
Omar Sharif in the middle of a revolution, that you don't see, undecided on which bird he wants for 3 hours.

[Blumf]

Harry Potter and the People Like this Dreary Toss!?

How a series of films about wizards and magic n that can feel so mundane, unimaginative and predictable I'll never know. Maybe the books are better but I'll never risk it after being dragged to several of the instalments. The only time I literally fell asleep in a cinema.

[Noodle Lizard]

Harry Potter and the People Like this Dreary Toss!?

How a series of films about wizards and magic n that can feel so mundane, unimaginative and predictable I'll never know. Maybe the books are better but I'll never risk it after being dragged to several of the instalments. The only time I literally fell asleep in a cinema.

I think the worst thing is that this "magic world" is actually remarkably unmagical[nb]Usually just convoluted, roundabout ways of achieving something banal like making a pot of tea.  Modern technology seems more advanced and capable.[/nb], but not subtle enough to make any of the supposed allegories seem worthwhile.  It's also never explained why exactly wizards exist or what they're aiming for, they're just sort of there, doing things more or less for the sake of it until a DARK LORD shows up to ... be dark, no real reason, just evil.  It's fucking terrible.

And not one person can fix Harry's eyesight, or even offers to, despite fixing his glasses whenever a twee moment should arise.  Dreary Tosser more like.

[Nmkl Pkjl Ftmsch]

I watched a motherfucker of a boring film last night. As if by magic, a review appears.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwdSNW5MQrI

[Nmkl Pkjl Ftmsch]

The Deer Hunter. I know it's accepted that you have to make your way through the long, boring first act and it picks up after that, but I was bored all the way through. The pacing was atrocious.

Little Otik, the Jan Svankmejer one, started off tremendously but after a certain point just lost steam and droned along very repetitively with no development at all. The film's outcome was revealed far too early, so there was nothing of real interest for it to build to.

I agree with you on both these points.

[Kane Jones]

Harry Potter and the People Like this Dreary Toss!?

How a series of films about wizards and magic n that can feel so mundane, unimaginative and predictable I'll never know. Maybe the books are better but I'll never risk it after being dragged to several of the instalments. The only time I literally fell asleep in a cinema.

I agree with you wholeheartedly.  I find them pretty charmless and dull.  I like the 'Christmas' bits, because I'm a sucker for snow and any frosty cosiness, but the films are fairly mundane and the stories pretty unimaginative.

I will say this though; they are quite good Sunday afternoon films to fall asleep in front of.  They have that feel about them.  A boring feel. I don't think I've seen the last 45 minutes of any of them to be honest.  Are those the best bits, HP fans?

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

I think the worst thing is that this "magic world" is actually remarkably unmagical[nb]Usually just convoluted, roundabout ways of achieving something banal like making a pot of tea.  Modern technology seems more advanced and capable.[/nb], but not subtle enough to make any of the supposed allegories seem worthwhile.  It's also never explained why exactly wizards exist or what they're aiming for, they're just sort of there, doing things more or less for the sake of it until a DARK LORD shows up to ... be dark, no real reason, just evil.  It's fucking terrible.

And not one person can fix Harry's eyesight, or even offers to, despite fixing his glasses whenever a twee moment should arise.  Dreary Tosser more like.

Maybe it's dealt with, I just don't know, but as I understand it, the magic people aren't allowed to use their powers in the real world, so they leave Hogwarts with no usable qualifications.

[Small Man Big Horse]

In recent memory, I was bored senseless after an hour or so of Reality Bites.  It's just this meandering, repetitive film, clearly trying to be some generation-defining iconic piece.  I stuck it out to the end, but what the fuck was that?

Somewhat bizarrely Stiller's planning to make a Reality Bites sitcom. http://www.avclub.com/articles/ignoring-what-he-learned-in-reality-bites-ben-stil,102012/ It's a weird situation as some things he's made I really like (Zoolander, Dodgeball) but I can't see how this could be any good if it's anything like it's source material.

My nomination for this thread would be AI. It's a big old bag of shite, and seems to last forever.

[Beil]

Blade Runner.

The look and feel is still absolutely astonishing. There are cityscapes and visual flourishes that are so breathtakingly gorgeous they bring a lump to my throat, but the actual story is so dull and meandering.

I find the criticism 'boring' to be really juvenile, but there really is no other way to describe BR. It just sort of flops out in front of you, until it stops.

[Famous Mortimer]

The more I think about Reality Bites, the more annoyed I am by it. Damn you Small Man Big Horse!

[Sam]

I think Fata Morgana is great. The only bit that's slightly dull is the opening of a plane landing repeatedly, but then Werner put that in to fuck people off for that very reason, the scamp. There's so much staggering and hypnotic imagery, plus the Mayan book of the dead in declaratory German. What's not to like?

I won't hear a bad word about The Thin Red Line. You can claim (wrongly) that Days, Tree, New or Wonder are boring and I'd allow it, but Line? No chance! You're bored of that then you're bored of Life.

[Ralph Cifaretto]

Good thread. Good suggestions.

The 2 x van sant's are boring as hell, Gerry and Last Days. As are Antonioni's (I remember the pornstar Sasha Grey when her film with Soderbergh came out saying Antonioni was her fave director. There's no way that's true (though it'd be nice if i was proved wrong))

Though off the top of my head. And i dont know whether you'd class this as boring, or plain shit. But I'd go Damsels in Distress.

[thecuriousorange]

Darren Aronofsky's brooding, pompous and humourless The Fountain. Not too much in the way of dialogue, and Hugh Jackman does Tai Chi in a giant snowglobe floating across outer space for ages.

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

Agreed. I do really like Antonioni and I genuinely love L'avventura, which lots of people find boring, but I just didn't find anything interesting about this. As you say, the protagonist is a total wanker. Beyond that, I don't see much bar a snapshot of a period which I don't find particularly interesting. It's like L'avventura without the beautiful Italian scenery, the interesting ambiguities or the cool moodiness.

Funny, with me it's the other way round. I think L'avventura is the boring mess, whereas Blow up for me is endlessly fascinating. I could watch the later film repeatedly and always find something new; as good as cinema gets in my estimation.

[Funcrusher]

Agreed. I do really like Antonioni and I genuinely love L'avventura, which lots of people find boring, but I just didn't find anything interesting about this. As you say, the protagonist is a total wanker. Beyond that, I don't see much bar a snapshot of a period which I don't find particularly interesting. It's like L'avventura without the beautiful Italian scenery, the interesting ambiguities or the cool moodiness.

I also like Antonioni as well. The problem with 'Blow Up' is that it's written by Edward Bond, who is rubbish.

[Pepotamo1985]

Blow Up

The main character is pretty much an irredeemable dick.  I honestly think a large part of its success at the time was down to the nudity and exposed breasts. 

Pretty much bang on the money, here. The Passenger is almost as bad.

[Mini]

Though off the top of my head. And i dont know whether you'd class this as boring, or plain shit. But I'd go Damsels in Distress.

Plain shit.

[Noodle Lizard]

Maybe it's dealt with, I just don't know, but as I understand it, the magic people aren't allowed to use their powers in the real world, so they leave Hogwarts with no usable qualifications.

Yeah, that's another thing.  Evidently there's no accounting for hundreds of kids more or less going missing from the ages of 11 to 18 and not attending any "real" schools.  Presumably the result of an unseen spell which erases them from public record or at least causes bureaucrats to gloss over their names.  Again, banal.

[Lyfjaberg]

Yeah, that's another thing.  Evidently there's no accounting for hundreds of kids more or less going missing from the ages of 11 to 18 and not attending any "real" schools.  Presumably the result of an unseen spell which erases them from public record or at least causes bureaucrats to gloss over their names.  Again, banal.

That large hairy groundskeeper kills all the council truancy officers with a shovel.

[Noodle Lizard]

Oh, Permanent Vacation.  I hate to say it because I generally really like Jim Jarmusch, but that film is a load of old wank.  75 minutes has never felt so long.  Obviously a wiser person than I saw something in it and gave him a shot, for I would have immediately kicked him in the bollocks and/or arse for wasting my time were I in that position.

[Noodle Lizard]

I won't hear a bad word about The Thin Red Line [...] You're bored of that then you're bored of Life.

Urgh.  You even capitalised "life".

[garbed_attic]

Bangkok Dangerous in which Cage looks like he's sleepwalking and all the action scenes drag. It was aggressively tedious (and I really like Cage).

Effi Briest is a flat-out masterpiece though IM(adament)O. Hanna Schygulla's portrayal of Effi is one of my favourite pieces of acting in any film. It's got elaborately constructed mirror shots! It's a Marxist interpretation of a German bourgeois novel! Interior design! Bah!

and Fata Morgana is so very odd I couldn't find it boring. I think it's boring in the sense that meditation is boring... you need to give in and enter the trance-state!

[Tiny Poster]

Urgh.  You even capitalised "life".