Things that are mildly irritating

[El Unicornio, mang]

Funnily enough, my mate's brother was raving about Samuel Adams at the weekend. I'd seen in in Majestic before but I'm never in the mood to buy English Ales from there... and I always just assumed by the box that that's what it was! I'm going to have to try it now.

Samuel adams... always a good choice !!
Those commercials irritate me !!

Chappelle's Show did a skit with him dressed as Samuel L Jackson, advertising Samuel JAckson beer, with the tagline "Good choice, motherfucker!"
You need to see it really...

[VegaLA]

Funnily enough, my mate's brother was raving about Samuel Adams at the weekend. I'd seen in in Majestic before but I'm never in the mood to buy English Ales from there... and I always just assumed by the box that that's what it was! I'm going to have to try it now.

Samuel adams... always a good choice !!
Those commercials irritate me !!

Chappelle's Show did a skit with him dressed as Samuel L Jackson, advertising Samuel JAckson beer, with the tagline "Good choice, motherfucker!"
You need to see it really...

Hah yeah, I did catch that briefly in a trailer for it. I'm tempted to get the first season on DVD.

[Goldentony]

amy winehouse
pete doherty
keane

[Minty]

Anyone, ANYONE that turns up at the cinema:

1. After the film has started,
2. With anything to eat or drink,
3. Mutters any sound above the decibel level of a mouse sneeze (unless it's a comedy, it's OK to laugh)

should be fucking crucified live on fucking TV the fuckers.

[Hoogstraten'sSmilingUlcer]

People who make themselves a cup of tea, don't offer you one, and then leave the teapot full, so when you go for a cup, you have to clean out their cold stagnating tea.

A very particular one -  you ring the bell to get off the bus, and it's one of those buses with two doors (1 back, 1 front), and the bus stops at the stop. You've already stood up and  got to the back door, because it's closer to you. Then, the driver actually waits, counts 10 or 15 seconds until opening the doors, so you're standing there, in front of everybody who are all probably late for work and giving you the daggers, expecting the doors to open. It's a strange ritual in mild humilation and power-fixing.

Price & variety of food in cinemas. It's a cinema, not a restaurant. I want to watch a film, not eat thrice my weight in Doritos, and go bankrupt in the process.

[Marcus Or Relius]

Fucking telesales cunts from fucking Barclays who think people love to spend their evenings talking to them.

"I can't talk right now," said I last night to one of the buggers trying to sell me accident-insurance.
"When would be a more convenient time to call?"
"SOMETIME OTHER THAN BLOODY HALF-NINE AT NIGHT!"

[VegaLA]

Anyone, ANYONE that turns up at the cinema:

1. After the film has started,
2. With anything to eat or drink,
3. Mutters any sound above the decibel level of a mouse sneeze (unless it's a comedy, it's OK to laugh)

should be fucking crucified live on fucking TV the fuckers.

I totally agree, i've noticed that staff no longer 'patrol' the studios to evict any noisy bastards. I remember the old days at the Sutton Cannon flea-pit. There was this old biddy there that kept an eye on the kids. Almost got thrown out myself because my mate puked up a whole bottle of crappy scrumpy jack. It hit the ankles of the people sitting in front of us and smelt real bad. Serves us right for paying to see Highlander 2 I suppose !!

[TraceyQ]

dual-tone highlights.

Lalalalalalalalalala

ah. I mean in association with the affected hairstyle.  you're not on the list.  you're not trendy.

I dont have those any more.

I have a Fe-mullet. Photographic evidence is available.

[notnotnatnats]

amy winehouse
pete doherty
keane

I hear you sister.

[Ambient Sheep]

People with affected hairstyles, especially those with "trendy mullets" and those with dual-tone highlights.

Lalalalalalalalalala

<predictable mode>

I'd be careful, TMWBE.  Remember what happened last time?





</predictable mode>

[Bogey]

See, now if someone had had a camcorder....

Bring one to the meet someone.
Or I could. I suppose.

[Ambient Sheep]

We do actually have a couple of short digicamera films from meets, but for some reason Torty always chooses the most boring and/or crass 20 seconds to shoot, thus making them not worth the download, as a rule.

[TraceyQ]

Ah, gwarn, let's see 'em anyway.

[Ambient Sheep]

Ah, gwarn, let's see 'em anyway.

You really want to the world to see yourself stalking off in disgust because Boki (or someone) farted?  And that's the *highlight*.

Besides, I'd need to find some webspace...

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

People who talk on their mobile phones in public BUT AREN'T EMBARRASSED.

?

Why should people be embarrassed by this?

I think when your phone goes off in a public place (including the street) you should look a bit furtive, head for a quiet corner, and finish the call as quickly as possible while apologising to everyone. That's the British way.

I just hate people who saunter along with their shoulders back, barking into their phone with their great booming, I'm-not-self-conscious-at-all voice. Especially if it's a hands-free and they're not even worried that people will think they're talking to themselves.

And anyone who paces around in a shop while nattering away on a phone is a twat too. It's a shop, it's not your fucking house. Go outside now.

I just hate confident people, really. It's them who cause all the problems.

[Cambrian Times]

People asking for cashback, to pay for their drinks on a Friday night when there is about 50 other people waiting for me to serve them and there is a cashpoint less then a minute's walk away.

[chand]

And people who continue having conversations on them while paying for stuff in shops. Subtext: 'I'm such a busy, multi-tasking, executive media arsehole that I don't even acknowledge that cashiers are human beings - bet you're all really impressed...'

That's particularly annoying, especially when I've watched THEM do the dialling. When that happens, I ignore them and move onto the next person, the fuckers.

[Lt Plonker]

Price & variety of food in cinemas. It's a cinema, not a restaurant. I want to watch a film, not eat thrice my weight in Doritos, and go bankrupt in the process.

Ah, but there's a reason for this. The film distributors charge a bundle for the films and, consequently, all box office takings go directly to pay for the films. The cinema has to make it's money back by charging seemingly ludicrous prices. Let's not forget maintainance, wages, electricity, rent etc. It all mounts up.

Also, let's not forget...you can, and here's the catch, choose NOT to buy something.

I get so much fucking shit from customers, working in a cinema. It's the older cinema goers that are the rudest and most arrogant customers - they actually sneer at me sometimes. If I hear the 'Second Mortgage' joke from one more cunt, I'm going to rip their throat out. One of my chums  was serving some young, twatty 'jack-the-lad' who, after actually paying went: *cough*Rip-off!*cough*, to which I replied, as I walked by: *cough*Fuck-off*cough*.

Not having a pop at your goodself Hoogstraten, by the way. I'm sure you'd be lovely to serve. :)

To add to the thread:

1. Customers who come up and say: "Popcorn and drink." I'm not Derren Brown you cunt, tell me what exacty you want.

2. Customer who make sneary remarks about the prices or refuse to pay and generally acting is if they're being clever and making some sort of point that noone had ever made before.

Actually, these aren't mildly irritating, they are very frustrating.

[chand]

and people with "FCUK" t-shirts, especially the "FCUK Fashion" one.

But dude, it looks likes the word 'fuck', BUT IT'S NOT! Don't you see why that's hilarious? It's a gag that's well worth flogging for the last for eight fucking years. It works on so many levels.

[jonboy]

AAGH!! So true. Anyone with an FCUK t-shirt has to die. Ooh it looks a bit like fuck. So fcuking what. You cnut.  Maybe I sound like I should start reading the daily mail, but what about the fuckers who say things like ' I'm sweet enough already' when asked if they take sugar. For fuck's sake.

[JesusAndYourBush]

or hold their knife like a pencil

Conversely those who grasp their pen between their knuckles when they're clearly not spasticated.

It's one of those First Alternative advert with Michael Winner.

What annoys me about that is Winner keeps mentioning a "sister company" and the woman says "I'm not your sister."  He didn't say you were, silly cow.


To add to all the comments about people talking on mobile phones, what annoys me is people who talk TOO LOUDLY on the phone.  It's a quite sophisticated piece of machinery, the microphone is quite sensitive, you only need to talk as loud as if the person is right fucking there in front of you nose to nose, not bellow so you'll be heard in the next street.

[Bogey]

What annoys me about that is Winner keeps mentioning a "sister company" and the woman says "I'm not your sister."  He didn't say you were, silly cow.

Didn't Winner "come up" with the idea for this advert himself or something?
I'm sure someone told me something to that effect.

[fanny splendid]

I love this thread.

Admittedly, as a professional wind-up merchant I know most of these, but there a always a few I hadn't thought of...

[mook]

Old people eating inappropriate food in public places. I know in the great scheme of things it's nothing at all, but until you've seen the horror of a 90 year old women in a twin set and pearls attempting to cram balefuls of mizuni salad leaves and squid into her almost goatse like mouth you will never understand. Put me right of me bass I tell you.

So in short, to any nonagenarians that might be reading this, please for the love of God stick to things that you can actually fit inside your head without making your dentures flap about is all I ask.

Thank you.

Edit to add.

My girlfriend has stuck her head arounf the door of my comp. room and asked me to turn down that tubular bells rubbish....I'm listening to wish you were here!

I love her to pieces but fucksakes.

[Marcus Or Relius]

Some wretched hag in her sixties at my workplace who moaned - very loudly - that she was thinking of moving because "the street where I live is filling up with Indians and Pakis." Even more irritating was the girl sitting near me who laughed and told me "What a character! She doesn't hold back, does she?"

I wondered whether - if I grabbed the old racist bitch whilst she continued to rant about her ethnic neighbours and thrown her through the window and shouted "Off with you, withered old hag, and do not bother coming in tomorrow" whilst she plummetted four-floors to her death - the girl next to me would have just laughed and said of me "What a character! He doesn't hold back, does he?"

Referring a few posts up yonder, I've just been to the supermarket where some ignorant rectum was on their mobile-phone whilst at the till. They had the cheek to wave the £10 note in the cashier's face as if to try to attract their attention, even though the cashier was paying attention, and indeed had been trying to get the attention of their bastard customer who had ignored the statement "Five-pounds-fifty please" because they were busy trying to tell some fuck-whitted relative on the phone how to use the DVD player. "No, not that button, the other one, with 'Play' written on it."

[terminallyrelaxed]

Watch channel 5 weather, problem solved. Next?

Presumably Channel 5 doesn't have programmes that he's waited six months to see on, though, does it?

Who cares? Have you seen the Channel 5 weather girl?

Sorry, can't find a pic, but I always smile right back at her at the end....

[dan dirty ape]

People who say "cheer up, it might never happen" to STRANGERS. Perhaps it HAS happened, you fucking winnet. And if it has or hasn't, what fucking business is it of yours anyway? Leave me and my naturally joyless facial expression alone, cunt!

[Hoogstraten'sSmilingUlcer]

Lt Plonker wrote:

Ah, but there's a reason for this. The film distributors charge a bundle for the films and, consequently, all box office takings go directly to pay for the films. The cinema has to make it's money back by charging seemingly ludicrous prices. Let's not forget maintainance, wages, electricity, rent etc. It all mounts up.

I see what you mean from an economic point of view, and I know what you mean & sympathise about the cunty customers (whenever I see them in cinemas, they're usually the 20-25 your old lads, in Ben Sherman and burberry cap, with gold jewellery). But from a cinema-experience perspective, the smell of hot dogs and warm ketchup, four kinds of tortilla dip and tacos, in an enclosed environment can get pretty rank.

[Purple Tentacle]

The girl who sits next to me at work who must spend, I'm not kidding, about 2 hours a day speaking very quietly into the work's phone in a language I don't understand.

How dare she speak in a foreign language.

What makes it worse is that
1) I'm quite conciencious about using the work phone, plus I'm scared of wasting the company's money,
2) I hate having personal conversations on the work phone where everybody can hear, I always go outside with my mobile, even if it's a conversation about what we're having for tea tonight,
3) Being able to talk in a foreign language (Iranian, so I can't even have fun guessing the words like with French or Italian), which completely negates the point raised in 2), which is cheating
4) Speaking very quietly, so it's just an insect chattering just beyond the range of hearing, very irritating.
5) The fact that I spend every second at work logged onto CaB, and I actually waste far more of the company's time, but at least I have the common decency to be slippery and crafty about it, rather than flaunting my time-wastng.
6) The one time I actually needed her to do something, and she hung up right away, making me feel dead guilty even though I was well within my rights to ask her not to talk on the phone for two hours a day in foreign-speak, even though I waste more time than she, in English.

[Lt Plonker]

Lt Plonker wrote:

Ah, but there's a reason for this. The film distributors charge a bundle for the films and, consequently, all box office takings go directly to pay for the films. The cinema has to make it's money back by charging seemingly ludicrous prices. Let's not forget maintainance, wages, electricity, rent etc. It all mounts up.

I see what you mean from an economic point of view, and I know what you mean & sympathise about the cunty customers (whenever I see them in cinemas, they're usually the 20-25 your old lads, in Ben Sherman and burberry cap, with gold jewellery). But from a cinema-experience perspective, the smell of hot dogs and warm ketchup, four kinds of tortilla dip and tacos, in an enclosed environment can get pretty rank.

Ah, the smells, yes. Horrid. The salsa we sell is dire. Apparently we're going to start selling pizzas. God help us.