Author Topic: Your starter for ten  (Read 2880 times)

Your starter for ten
« on: February 11, 2004, 11:50:58 AM »
This week, I have been mostly imagining TV gameshow hosts saying their catchphrases whilst having sex.  With hilarious results.

Just simply saying the phrase during the throes of passion can be funny enough, for example Roy Walker from Catchphrase:

“What’s Mr Chips doing now?”

But sometimes, the phrase will reveal the host’s sexual preferences or attitudes.  Sticking with Roy Walker, he’s obviously got the whole Catholic guilt thing going on:

“It’s good but it’s not right, it’s good but it’s not right.”

There’s loads more, so join with me in dragging the board to a new low.  We can make a game of it.  To our winner, a night hosting Have I Got News For You, to our losers, a night ‘hostessing’ for Angus Deayton.

Who’s next?

Your starter for ten
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2004, 11:52:59 AM »
you are the weakest link, goodbye

do you want to ask the audience?

come on down

higher, or lower?

Your starter for ten
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2004, 11:55:39 AM »
Hold on to your hollyhocks - Bob Monkhouse

Your starter for ten
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2004, 11:57:15 AM »
Excellent work, although I think they may benefit from a little explanation, for example:

Leslie Crowther begging his partner for oral sex:

"Come on down"

Keep 'em, er, coming.

Your starter for ten
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2004, 11:57:22 AM »
"I've started so I'll finish."

Your starter for ten
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2004, 11:59:05 AM »
chris evans after he's just spaffed in billie's mouth,

"don't forget your toothbrush"

Your starter for ten
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2004, 12:01:45 PM »
Brilliant Smoker.

Bruce Forsythe abandons the foreplay and moves straight to full sex:

"You don't get anything for a pair, not in this game."

And of course, throughout the act of love:

"Good game, good game."

Your starter for ten
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2004, 12:02:46 PM »
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhha aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaahhh

juice, we got juice! billy got juice, billy got juice!

- tappy tibbons

Your starter for ten
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2004, 12:03:26 PM »
"Would you like to phone a friend, or ask the audience?"

Ooh, nasty.

Your starter for ten
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2004, 12:04:43 PM »
forsythe discovers asian nympho twins in bedroom / forsythe returns home to find it being burgled again:

nice to see you, to see you nice

Your starter for ten
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2004, 12:05:50 PM »
"Stay out of the black and in the red.  There's nothing in this game for two in a bed!"

Your starter for ten
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2004, 12:06:31 PM »
Les Dennis doubting his penetrative accuracy:

"If it's up there, I'll give you the money meself!"

Your starter for ten
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2004, 12:07:02 PM »
"it's only a game, son"

davidson's career meets abrupt end

Your starter for ten
« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2004, 12:12:34 PM »
"Look at the muck in here" - Larry Grayson

Your starter for ten
« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2004, 12:15:12 PM »
Paxman:

(sigh) oh come ON!

Your starter for ten
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2004, 12:22:03 PM »
"Pot as many balls as you can"

When ya cant decide where to put ya plonker - take a 50/50.

Your starter for ten
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2004, 12:34:17 PM »
Lovely smashing super great, you've got yourself a bit of bully.


Jim Bowen.

Your starter for ten
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2004, 12:40:59 PM »
Quote from: "Muteki"
Les Dennis doubting his penetrative accuracy:

"If it's up there, I'll give you the money meself!"


Now that is going to take some beating.  Possibly  the funniest post I have ever read.  Makes me feel rather ashamed to post this weak effort.

Bob Holness at the moment of climax:

"and THAT'S Blockbusters!"

Your starter for ten
« Reply #18 on: February 11, 2004, 12:45:11 PM »
"Twelve down, three to go" - William G Stewart mourning the rapidly approaching end of his bukkake party.

Your starter for ten
« Reply #19 on: February 11, 2004, 12:45:58 PM »
Quote from: "Robot DeNiro"
Bob Holness at the moment of climax:

"and THAT'S Blockbusters!"


Ha ha ha...

That's fuckin hilarious mate. I can just imagine his furrowed bespectacled face, teeth clenched, grimacing, yet with a hint of a smirk of satisfaction...

Your starter for ten
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2004, 12:46:54 PM »
Quote from: "Uncle_Z"
"Twelve down, three to go" - William G Stewart mourning the rapidly approaching end of his bukkake party.


:)

"They think it's all over...it is now"

(bit of a cheat, but hey!)

Your starter for ten
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2004, 12:47:36 PM »
Doodle, doodle, doodly-doo pyow.

Your starter for ten
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2004, 12:50:09 PM »
Quote from: "Uncle_Z"
Doodle, doodle, doodly-doo pyow.



Ha ha.  Is that the 'Countdown' theme?

Your starter for ten
« Reply #23 on: February 11, 2004, 12:58:36 PM »
"We really wanna' see those fingers!"

It doesn't quite work does it? Fudge it.

:)

-

Your starter for ten
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2004, 01:02:24 PM »
"It's the quickfire round - we don't know how much time we've got - but when the time's up, you'll here this sound..."

Your starter for ten
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2004, 01:02:27 PM »
For the more athletic lover...

'Give us a twirl.'

Your starter for ten
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2004, 01:06:48 PM »
How about Ted Rogers' immortal "3-2-1!".

-

Your starter for ten
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2004, 01:21:23 PM »
"i think we should try and spice up our sex life dear."

"well, i'll have a p bob"

Vermschneid Mehearties

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Your starter for ten
« Reply #28 on: February 11, 2004, 01:40:17 PM »
Quote from: "Des Nilsen"
How about Ted Rogers' immortal "3-2-1!".

-


With finger movements ;)

Your starter for ten
« Reply #29 on: February 11, 2004, 01:41:56 PM »
"I've got a cheque here for £32,000 - but I don't want to give you that!"