What do you never wish to see in a movie again?

[Dusty Substance]

As much as I don't want to sound like another dull "modern movies are shit" old sourpuss, there are so many tropes and cliches that I would be happy to just never see again in a film.

Most notably, in recent years, there's been far too much dull tech-talk. Computers have their place in films and stories, I remember being wowed by WarGames and it still holds up pretty well today, but what I'm talking about is this seemingly endless stream of tedium that appears in film dialogue.

One of the worst offenders was in The Dark Knight, in that exchange between Batman and Lucius Fox: " And a high-frequency generator-receiver." - It wasn't helped that the line was delivered in Bale's silly Bat-voice, but I just found it so utterly dull, especially as it appeared at a crucial moment in the film.

Another thing I never want to see again is the stylish three point landing, as demonstrated in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgOtPXDyKjA. That, combined with flashy bullett-time stuff featuring gun weilding characters in long coats. Anything that is reminiscent of The Matrix, in fact.

What else? What do you never wish to see in a movie again?

[Phil_A]

Any variation on the exchange between two characters that includes someone saying "There's a war coming, and you'd better pick a side!" Of all the dumb movie dialogue clichés I think I hate this one most of all, it's almost as overused as "There's a storm coming", but even more irritating somehow. Any screenwriter who uses this in a script without irony should be repeatedly hit in the face with a copy of William Goldman's "Adventures In The Screen Trade".

[checkoutgirl]

What do you never wish to see in a movie again?

Jennifer Aniston or Adam Sandler.

I know some people like them but it would comfort me to know that the people who do enjoy them are denied that pleasure.

[Paaaaul]

Things I "never wish to see in a movie again" are likely to be the things I'm most excited by because they surprise me.
Things I wish to never see in a movie again, though- that's a helluva question

[Small Man Big Horse]

That bit in romantic comedies where they have a big argument and split up and then spend ages wallowing to dull music whilst it pours down with rain. I know it's all a device to make us feel happier when they get back together at the airport / wedding / bar mitzvah, but I'm sick of it. Instead they should never get back together and remain unhappy and suicidal for the rest of the pathetic lives. The cunts.

[Lord Mandrake]

When a bomb or something goes off and it all goes fuzzy and slomo, close up on someones pupils, gravel and shrapnel flying about and the ears ringing bit and then it all speeds up again.

[Bored of Canada]

I'm sick of films coming out that claim to be comedies, but aren't actually comedies. A comedy film is defined by one thing:

At one point in any true comedy, the protagonist will exit a rough, tough, Biker bar. S/he will bump one of the motorcycles parked outside, which falls over, knocking over every. single. other. motorcycle.
All in a loud awkward screech of grinding metal.

I have the opposite position from the original poster. I want to see this single moment from J. Apatow and W. Allen in their films. Otherwise they're just shit dramas or thrillers in disguise, and should be judged by those standards.

In comparison to No Country For Old Men, Annie Hall's shit. There's no real sense of threat. The stakes are pretty low, and the aloofness of the lead is infuriating in the context of this life or death situation. What a load of pretentious arse.

[Eis Nein]

It'd be tempting to lose so many tropes or techniques completely, but the real problem with most of them is if they're used badly or too often. Some for which there should be no excuse, or even criminal charges:

The CG double smash, or Snyder's Focus. A scene of pointlessly complex animation, smash zoom, then another. A closer, then even closer, look at fuck all.

The Lens Boo. An entity, real, artificial or imagined zooms at the camera. See The Last Exorcism Pt 2 for about a dozen of these, with a further 12 cat scares, and all shit horror. There was even one in March of the Penguins, and the cunting Academy gave it the Oscar. Bonus clagnuts awarded if the cast are oblivious.

The Sputtering Polaroid. Flares/matches I can muster up tolerance for if you've earnt some goodwill, but anyone using a Polaroid today is a hipster. Kill it with CG quickly so we can move on.

[DukeDeMondo]

I mentioned this in one of those film cliche threads, but I am sick to my back pube of final shots all about someone is gazing into the middle distance, usually as they're about to head off on some great journey or other, and then, just for a second, they look at the camera. CREDITS.

Also, countless otherwise decent horror pictures have been ruined by a final shot that has the camera moving very slowly towards some point in a room, and then a bad face jumps up. CREDITS.

Both of those things can get to fuck.

[Frazer]

Dumb cops. So often every police officer/detective other than the hero is an inept, unimaginative (sometimes surly) buffoon.

I'd love to see a film where the would-be hero gets killed off in the first five minutes, choking to death on a piece of cold pizza. The unopposed serial killer then goes on to wipe out the entire population of the town/city, whereupon the hero returns - he faked his death to trap the murderer, knowing that if everyone else was dead then the only person left alive would be the bad guy.

At which point the bad guy would whip off his mask to reveal that he was the piece of cold pizza and that the cop is actually a ghost.

Regarding camera techniques; fuck off with your shaky cam already! It doesn't add drama it just makes the camera operator look drunk. And films that look like a Marilyn Manson video.

[Famous Mortimer]

JJ Abrams and his lens flare.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I watched that Human Centipede 2 last night so my answer is human centipedes

[Tiny Poster]

Dumb cops. So often every police officer/detective other than the hero is an inept, unimaginative (sometimes surly) buffoon.

I'd love to see a film where the would-be hero gets killed off in the first five minutes, choking to death on a piece of cold pizza.

This is pretty similar to the set-up of The Other Guys.

[AsparagusTrevor]

JJ Abrams and his lens flare.

Or Zack Snyder. Watching Man of Steel was like being surround by dozens of those pricks who think it's funny to use their watch to reflect the sun in your eyes.

[Famous Mortimer]

This is pretty similar to the set-up of The Other Guys.

And, sort of, "Reno 911: Miami".

[Sam]

People ordering things in cafes and restaurants and leaving before consuming it.

[Waking Life]

Or indeed, paying for it.

[Replies From View]

People going "Yess!" and doing that Culkin arm-pump thing.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

People who end phone calls without saying Bye.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Oh and the opening poster is correct, War Games is a charming movie. A good choice for teenager viewing, if you've pulled your head out of your teenage arse enough to accept its set IN THE PAST OH NO NOT THE PAST

[Jamie Oliver is fat]

Any storyline that involves you having to care what happens to someone's kids

[checkoutgirl]

Any storyline that involves you having to care what happens to someone's kids

Everybody's someone's kids surely ?

[Jamie Oliver is fat]

you know what i fucking mean

[mothman]

Unnecessary CGI. You know, for things that used to be done without it. These days you have CGI car chases and horseback stunts.

[Blumf]

Unnecessary CGI. You know, for things that used to be done without it. These days you have CGI car chases and horseback stunts.

Yeah, it's one thing to see some pretty spectacle on screen but it's far better to see that and know it involves a lot of skill and effort, rather than half an afternoon sat in front of Blender or whatever they use.[nb]Not to deny the skill involved in CGI work, just keep it to the truly impossible[/nb]

[El Unicornio, mang]

People ordering "beer" at a bar. Has anyone in the history of the world actually gone in a bar and just said "Yeah, gimme a beer". Are there any bars that only have one type of beer?

[DukeDeMondo]

I went to Turkey a couple years ago with my girlfriend, and the only beer on offer anywhere in the region was Efes. So folk just asked for a beer. But Jerry Maguire doesn't take place in Dalyan, far as I remember.

[Dusty Substance]

When a bomb or something goes off and it all goes fuzzy and slomo, close up on someones pupils, gravel and shrapnel flying about and the ears ringing bit and then it all speeds up again.

100% agreed. There's been too much of that in recent years.

Lots of good answers so far, many thanks for your responses.

I was reminded of this list by Joe Cornish from an XFM era Adam & Joe podcast where he discusses the ten things that are no longer scary and should be banned in horror films - Worth a listen: http://youtu.be/khja0E78A-s?t=14m38s

[Brundle-Fly]

Not to be too obvious, but having watched a slew of modern slasher horrors in recent years, I can't face any more openings with a group of young people, (alpha male, nerd, 'slutty' girl, quiet girl looking disgruntled out back window) in a car/camper van. They always stop off at a run down cafe/service station and get intimidated by a local and then , naturally breakdown an hour later in the middle of nowhere with no phone signal.

I thought all these cliches would cease after the rather good, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil but no.

[Paaaaul]

Not to be too obvious, but having watched a slew of modern slasher horrors in recent years, I can't face any more openings with a group of young people, (alpha male, nerd, 'slutty' girl, quiet girl looking disgruntled out back window) in a car/camper van. They always stop off at a run down cafe/service station and get intimidated by a local and then , naturally breakdown an hour later in the middle of nowhere with no phone signal.

I thought all these cliches would cease after the rather good, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil but no.

See also :Cabin In The Woods, a film that fully recognises all the horror conventions and still doesn't manage to rise above them except for the nutty last ten minutes.