I FUCKING LOVE CATS

[acrow]

cats seem to like me more than i like cats. don't get me wrong, i'm not some kind of sick anti-cat maniac, i just have no innate desire to be around the bastards. i think it all stems from my lifelong aversion to hair other than my own. hairbrushes used to freak the shit out of me.

any time i'm around cats they seems to want to sit on me. cunts. hairy cunts.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

They can knock over a can of air freshener and come up smelling of roses.

[pigamus]

Catfights are hilarious. They will literally stand there all day. And eventually you out to rescue them, but they just glare at you, as if to say, "No! I wanted to keep glowering at him for another few hours!"

And their tails go like toilet brushes.

Oh! And does your cat do that ridiculous wiggle just before it tries to pounce on a bird?

[Neil]

Spoiler alert

The one in the front is probably dead, which it turns out is better - from my point of view - than "definitely dead and rotting on the side of the A303".

[close]

Oh shite, totally rotten story coming up.

Spoiler alert

When Hopey was missing, we were out looking for her all the time. I got posters printed up and selotaped them everywhere, liberally.

One night, my Ma saw something at the side of the road. A heap of mashed animal. Gordon was sent out at my Mum's insistence, because, well, they just HAD to know. That poor man scooped up, brought home, and then dug through a dead badger, or fuck knows what, until he could be sure it wasn't their kitty.  It was dark as fuck. He was a changed man afterwards, with a cold, icy thousand-yard stare.

No, I don't know why they split up.

[close]

The love you have for animals, eh!

[onthebeach]

Catfights are hilarious. They will literally stand there all day. And eventually you out to rescue them, but they just glare at you, as if to say, "No! I wanted to keep glowering at him for another few hours!"

And their tails go like toilet brushes.

Oh! And does your cat do that ridiculous wiggle just before it tries to pounce on a bird?

My cat does that before pouncing on me. Cunt.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Nice, tender, lovely thread now, isn't it?  Aww cats, etc.

Just wait until the morning, when all the bald, bearded dog cunts get up. Or until 3:27pm, when old man Fry gets up, and sweeps filthy white blankets of sleep out of his enormous, ungainly eyelashes.

I love both to pieces, and would really struggle to say which I prefer. I guess if I had a gun against my head I'd say dogs are better, but then only because my dog was the greatest dog the world has ever known. Most of my friends came round to visit him rather than me, and I can't say I blame them.

[Hank Venture]

My cat was a real bastard for waking me up in the middle of the night by clawing my feet as they poked out from under the cover. It gave no fucks, a real rebel, a soldier - which is why I liked it so much. When this occurred I had to goad it out of bedroom by dangling a sock in the doorframe and pulling it away as Raptus charged, and then shut the door - like the worlds most low-rent matador.

I don't like docile animals with no fighting spirit in them. I want a bit off a fuck-off pet, how boring is it to own a fleshy android who lumbers about without any will of their own. Depressing. No, my pets grudgingly accepts me as their overlord, it's a constant battle for domination. As it should be.

[Thomas]

Sometimes people, dog people, criticise cats for their independence, misconstrued/correctly construed as arrogance. But I like that about cats.

It just lives in the house. It's an animal, living in the house. Mine is perfectly affectionate and that, but I like that we could theoretically go a week without direct contact, just two species sharing a living space. Perhaps a nod as we pass in the kitchen. We never would, I'm always fussing that thing, but, you know. There's an element of maturity there. Not arrogance, but maturity. I respect cats.

Winds me up when they kill birds, though. Mine doesn't, she just carries socks around and mewls (seemingly under the impression that it's a) some fodder, or b) a kitten[nb]anyone got the deetz on this behaviour? Googling it just presents those two options.[/nb]), but I had to startle the neighbour's cat out of it this morning. Swine. Not in my name.

Now Havoc, there was a cat to be respected. Incredible animal.

[Ein Sof]

That's a really beautiful cat. Himalayan Blue? They are excellent for not causing allergies apparently.

Not a Himalayan. I think it's a Chartreux or a British Shorthair. Both breeds look very similar, but I'm going to opt for the former because Pablo's head and mouth - just like on Chartreux cats - are less 'rounded' and more regal than what is generally found on Shorthairs.[nb]Judging by Google Images. I'm not[nb]doing a very good impression of[/nb] a cat expert.[/nb]

[Stone Cold Jane Austen]

I finally got a cat of my own a couple of months ago. His name is Fletch[nb]aka Fletchamaroo, Fletch F. Fletch, The Pest, Captain Toerag, Buddy...[/nb] and I'm smitten with the little fucker. Here he is doing some 'sploring in the garden. He's a 24/7 pest but I love the little pisher.

[The Boston Crab]

I've got two cats from the RSPCA. Daisy and Buttercup, whom I call Cub. I only realised quite recently that one day they'll be gone and I've tried to understand much more about them since to make their lives as happy as possible. I really liked reading about Neil's blinking tips the other day and so I've been doing that a lot with them and I've been startled and delighted and I think they've also realised that I'm not a total idiot now, too, because we can communicate better. I do sometimes get sad when Daisy jumps up and starts miaowing even after her dinner because I don't know exactly what she wants but a bit of love seems to do the trick most often. I never thought I was a cat guy but I would choose them over most people, easily.

[Birdie]

Why do cats do this though? 



'Cos they are awkward buggers.

But then they do this too:



So they are alright.

I love my cat:)

[thepuffpastryhangman]

^
TBC - The cat in your first pic looks like one of ours.



Oh to escape to the warm cosy your-head-buried-deep-in-its-fur world.

At the supermarket yesterday I noticed they now do a type of Go Cat specifically for neutered cats. Maybe that's going a bit far. The menopausal cat is probably their next target.

[Famous Mortimer]

When I moved into this house, I immediately got a dog and a cat from the RSPCA. Charlie the pekingese is still living large and in charge, but Peggy was a different story. She had three legs (hence the name, I realised a few days after picking her up) and was 11 years old. So it was me or no-one really, I don't imagine the super-old cats get many chances. She wasn't fussy in the slightest, but had started battering on the bathroom door when I went in, to remind me she was there and needed feeding.

Sadly, she was probably already ill when the RSPCA gave her to me, because she died six weeks later. She was lovely.

But I have Littleone (not my choice of a name) and Yadi now. Littleone is a singapura, the tiny cat breed, and I got her via emailing a load of breeders and show-people and seeing if they had any retirees that needed a new home. Singapuras are the friendliest cat breed in the world (according to Cats 101 on the Animal Planet channel) and her trick is waiting until a human walks past where she is, then leaping onto their shoulder and staying there, purring, as the human goes about its daily business. She's about 10 years old and still acts like a kitten.

Yadi is a ragdoll and is massive. He was being chased round his old house by an excitable staffie, so his owners, who'd paid a few hundred quid for him as a kitten and had only had him for a year, asked the ragdoll rescue people to find him a new home, and I'd just registered with them. He likes having his belly rubbed more than I've ever seen with a cat (ie. more than not at all) and has taken to sleeping on top of the fridge-freezer. I've probably already shared this, but here's the two of them being friendly:



They most often like to wrestle, Yadi will lay down and Littleone will stroll up to him, and Yadi will grab her head in his massive paws and try and turn her over, it's like a daily bad judo match.

Yadi also likes sitting on the corner of the bath while you're in there (but he prefers when you're having a shower. He's indifferent to the splashing, it would seem, but he does like water. If I leave a tap slightly running, he's straight there to stick his head under it and have a drink.

[Birdie]

^Littleone is gorgeous!

I've had four cats - the first was a kitten from a friend but all the others have been strays. All unremarkable looking but all completely different in personality. My current cat (Pirate) is my favourite even though he's not the most affectionate or the cleverest; he's quite klutzy and annoying. But I love the way he'll choose a bed for 6 weeks (my pillow, my daughters' rooms, the linen cupboard) then move on;how when we go to bed, he decides it's time for bed too; the way he jumps up to the bathroom sink waiting for you to turn the tap on; and how he  licks milk out of your cereal bowl when he thinks you're not looking.

How can anyone not love cats?

[Kane Jones]

Another excuse to post this lovely photo of my two, Frankie & Minnie. 

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I've got two cats from the RSPCA.

Sick cunt- and bragging about it!

[Kane Jones]

Oh, and here are Frankie & Minnie's faces.

[shiftwork2]

I was brought up with cats but I've never had one of my own.  Moved around too frequently I suppose.  However I've now got friendly with a neighbour's black and white cat who I now refer to as the part-time pet.



She first visited in Spring of last year.  After a few visits to the garden (chasing sparrows, drinking from the birdbath, that sort of thing) she tentatively ventured inside.  To start with it was all about playing with string, especially when dragged enticingly under the coffee table.  She went bonkers for that.  After a while she'd sit on my lap receive tickles.  Now, 18 months on, we have come to an arrangement.  During the week she comes round at 6.30pm and leaves around 9.30pm.  Weekends are a little more wildcard.  In case you were wondering I've never fed her, don't know what her name is and I don't even know where she lives.  Brightens my day up no end though and I'd miss her terribly if her owner moved away.

[Thomas]

Go on then, here's my favourite picture of Maisie what I took -

[Birdie]

  Now, 18 months on, we have come to an arrangement.  During the week she comes round at 6.30pm and leaves around 9.30pm.  Weekends are a little more wildcard. 

One of the things that amazes me about cats is their inner clock. My second cat was a stray (I hope- we did try to track down an owner ) and used to visit but at 6.30 on the dot, she'd leave.

[shiftwork2]

One of the things that amazes me about cats is their inner clock. My second cat was a stray (I hope- we did try to track down an owner ) and used to visit but at 6.30 on the dot, she'd leave.

Could be in my case, but I think it's more likely that she visits after the owner arrives home and feeds her.  Or lets her out if she doesn't have a flap.  Leaving at the same time every day though, you may have a point.

[Hank Venture]

[Blue Jam]

I don't like docile animals with no fighting spirit in them. I want a bit off a fuck-off pet, how boring is it to own a fleshy android who lumbers about without any will of their own.

Feloid/Canoid surely? Anyway, I remember someone on here saying they didn't like spaniels and collies for their whole "Am I a good boy?" attitude and that they preferred terriers for their "fuck you" attitude. My second dog was a terrier mongrel and none-more fuck-you- I remember the time I thought it'd be nice to buy her a frisbee, only to then throw it to her and have her just look at me as if to say "what the fuck are you expecting me to do with that?" She refused to fetch sticks too. She was ace.

Right then, cats:

I was brought up with cats but I've never had one of my own.  Moved around too frequently I suppose.  However I've now got friendly with a neighbour's black and white cat who I now refer to as the part-time pet.

Two months ago I moved to Japan and into accommodation for overseas researchers, where I now have a part-time pet neko:



Here are the accommodation office's two cats, ignoring each other as they always do- both are missing the tip of their left ear which may explain things. "Mine" is the white one, whom I call Catface (this is what almost all cats whose names I don't know are called) and who I think is female. The tabby-and-white one with the weird bobtail isn't quite as friendly- not aggressive, just not that arsed with humans- and that one is Stupid Fucking Cat not because it's particularly unintelligent, but just because it reminds me of this little fucker.

Catface is a raging attention-seeker- she meows very loudly whenever she sees anyone, and not being fluent in Cat I thought this was hostile behaviour until she started following me round and getting under my feet. She often likes to greet me when I head off to work, and she bounds towards me when I get home, not unlike a dog. Often she'll greet me with an ear-splitting meow just when I'm not expecting it- perhaps she isn't that friendly after all and just likes watching me jump out of my skin. I got her a catnip toy which she quite enjoys, other residents feed her which I'd never do, knowing she has owners and gets fed enough already.

I'm still confused by cat language- Catface willl do really long drawn-out meows which sound a bit sad and have a questional intonation and these seem to mean "GIVE ME ATTENTION NOW!"- can any Cat speakers tell me what this really means? I'll offer her my hand to sniff and she'll often just dive under it, rubbing the back of her head on my hand like she can't wait a few seconds for me to stroke her. Lately she's been giving me little nips which I can't get my head round- she doesn't apply any pressure, just literally touches her teeth to my hand, and she'll do this while purring quietly and rubbing against me- is this affection or is it a warning to back off? I know how fickle cats can be and how they don't like being overstimulated but she hasn't done that thing of raising a paw with extended claws, which my neighbour's ancient Siamese cat in Wales used to do when he'd had enough.

We also get another feline visitor who just sits by the fence at a distance, and it's amusing to see Stupid Fucking Cat staring it out, while Catface does her "I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!!!" meow in its general direction.

I'd prefer a couple of dogs but they'll do for now.

[Kane Jones]

Here's Frankie helping me assemble a king size bed.

[Cerys]

Alternative Scrabble, our remaining moggy.  Daft as a brush and inventor of the Shoe Game.  AKA Scrablet, Scrabatron, Scrabbelina, Scrabbeletta, Bunny, Paws, Moglet, Moggetty Pussk, and many, many more.  I love this little puss.  She is fantastic.

[amnesiac]

a cat gave me ringworm when I was 7. Never again.

[Famous Mortimer]

Cats are awesome. I was flipping my mattress the other day and Littleone decided to hop on the bed just before I started. I figured she'd get off as soon as I started moving it, but she climbed up and over it and managed to stay on the bed the whole time.

[thepuffpastryhangman]

That's nowt (literally to its author, as he can't see my posts). Last week one of our cats, not the one in the picture^, remained seated on the car bonnet as I drove off. (They usually jump off the moment the engine starts) I encouraged it off after a while. Still that's nowt. There was some story about a car travelling on top of a van, clinging onto a ladder or something, on some motorways, the M1 and another, a few weeks ago.

[Treguard of Dunshelm]

Our much-loved family pet, Moggy[nb]Actually I named her Mog, after Meg and Mog when I was a kid, but we almost never called her that[/nb] sadly passed away in March. We don't know exactly how old she was because we got her from a shelter - she'd been found underneath a car with a litter of kittens, obviously been turfed out by her previous cunt owners - but the vet estimated her to be about 1 back then, so she must have been at least 19, which is a pretty decent age. She'd been fairly poorly for a few years with a dodgy thyroid, was almost completely deaf and going blind, but was still very good-natured and affectionate.

I don't have any pictures of her here, but here's Dougal, a young ALPHA AS FUCK tom belonging to some friends of mine who I had the pleasure of catsitting for a few weeks ago :



Big bugger, innee? He's a bit of a bully towards the neighbour's cats apparently, but very friendly towards humans, although he showed absolutely no indication whatsoever of missing his owners when they were away - when I came in the evening they went away he just looked at me as if to say "oh, it's you". He came in one afternoon, jumped up on my lap and scooched around trying to get comfy, I thought this was a lovely sign he was beginning to feel more comfortable with me - then I caught a whiff, lifted him up and saw he'd smeared shit all over my lap, which was slightly less heartwarming.