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Your Pre-Christmas day shit

Started by 303, December 24, 2013, 08:04:28 PM

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303

Has the way been cleared for the stuffing ahead?

Lots of fibre to get the old colon cleared for the mammoth sized toilet blockers on Boxing day (or should that be crapping day)?

Have you had the plumber round to check the pipes in case of monster blockages?

Share your tales of preparation for the biggest scatalogical event of the year.

Morrison Lard

The amount of pop I've put away the past few days,
I'll be happy if it's just got the consistency of gravel.

Glebe

I'm planning a big one tonight. A couple of Arret, shower in the morning and I'm all set.

And that's your Christmas all wrapped up... on BBC ONE!

biggytitbo

I hope this thread isn't trying to undermine the big Boxing Day shit thread. The prospect of which is the only thing keeping many of us going.

303

Quote from: biggytitbo on December 24, 2013, 08:12:01 PM
I hope this thread isn't trying to undermine the big Boxing Day shit thread. The prospect of which is the only thing keeping many of us going.

No this is to build anticipation of the special and lovely wonder of the Boxing day shit thread and make it even more special.

Lee Van Cleef

I was quite lucky, had painful diarrhoea today which seems to have completely expelled everything from my bowels. I'm all set.

biggytitbo

Quote from: Lee Van Cleef on December 24, 2013, 08:16:10 PM
I was quite lucky, had painful diarrhoea today which seems to have completely expelled everything from my bowels. I'm all set.


Lucky, smug bastard.

303

Quote from: Lee Van Cleef on December 24, 2013, 08:16:10 PM
I was quite lucky, had painful diarrhoea today which seems to have completely expelled everything from my bowels. I'm all set.

You are indeed a very lucky man, I bet you can't wait for Boxing day to come.

Glebe

Quote from: biggytitbo on December 24, 2013, 08:12:01 PM
I hope this thread isn't trying to undermine the big Boxing Day shit thread. The prospect of which is the only thing keeping many of us going.

Sadly, the Arret should insure that I miss out on that luxury. I'm aiming for the 28/29th for my big, constipated agony-unload.

Hangthebuggers

Quote from: biggytitbo on December 24, 2013, 08:12:01 PM
I hope this thread isn't trying to undermine the big Boxing Day shit thread. The prospect of which is the only thing keeping many of us going.

It really is sacred ground isn't it? I've got some Stravinski to get me in the mood for boxing day.

kitsofan34

Promising start to the Christmas shits on this 'Eve. I had some mild diarrhoea this afternoon. Hoping to keep the momentum of this early promising development going throughout the holidays, culminating in a departure of impressive fortitude and size.

JesusAndYourBush

Good idea for a thread.

I didn't go for a shit on Saturday which isn't that unusual for me as I sometimes miss a day then have an epic shit the next day, 2 days worth.
On Sunday I managed to squeeze out 2 or 3 small quite compact turds. Not quite 1 days worth.
On Monday I did an absolutely enormous poo.  As soon as I was sat on the bog it was whoomph!  All out in a second.  I had to look, you have to don't you, and bloody hell!  It was huge, possibly one of the biggest poos I've ever done and took 2 flushes to get rid of it.
Ok then, today (Tuesday). I expected a normal sized poo today but it was another huge one. Probably one and a half to two days worth going by size.
It's very possible I won't need to poo on Xmas day itself leaving boxing day open for another epic.

Is it true that if you crap out a big poo with enough girth it sexually stimulates the sphincter up your bum?

Maybe that's the real reason you go "uuuuuuuuuugggghhh".

mook

dunno. i'm wee-ing battery acid out of my bumhole every twenty minutes. and i'm getting dangerously low on toilet paper, only 4 rolls left!

Glebe

Looks like I may be having that Boxing Day dump after all. Season's Greetings all!

mook

just a reminder, don't let one of those time travelling antipodeans start the "boxing day shit" thread. 'cos they fucking well will if you're not vigilant. 

Thursday

Just had a nice Pre-Dinner Christmas Dinner shit to clear space. Feeling nice and roomy in here at the moment and I'll start on the alcohol soon just to give everything a good rinse through.

Morrison Lard

Just fired off a spectral dump at me brother's.

Toy Story 3 is on now and the vodka has been opened.

Merry xristmas

AlanB

I was at my Mum's when I felt the urge so I said I had forgot some presents and went back to mine for a dry but satisfying shit in my own toilet. I need to bring something back to validate my excuse so I might wrap it in tinfoil and put it on the tree.

Hangthebuggers

If anything we should have a ten minute silence for the Biggster's anus. Mark of respect.

mook

only if his anus can do ten minutes of silence first.

biggytitbo

Quote from: mook on December 25, 2013, 05:20:35 PM
only if his anus can do ten minutes of silence first.


It's settled down a bit now but earlier it was parping away like a trombone factory in a hurricane.

I ate more than I wanted - because these threads goaded me into it.

biggytitbo

Quote from: thecuriousorange on December 25, 2013, 05:51:51 PM
I ate more than I wanted - because these threads goaded me into it.


Take charge of your own life and don't be lead astray by the siren voices of this forum, like the boys sat on the backseat of the school bus.

Hangthebuggers

Also shitting on the back of a school bus can lead to serious jail time. Don't do it. It's just not on.

Unoriginal

Had a heavy wet arse shit. Felt more satisfying than an average shit. Since then I have eaten so much shit that tomorrow ... well, i'll leave that to the other thread.

Birdie

Quote from: mook on December 25, 2013, 11:25:30 AM
just a reminder, don't let one of those time travelling antipodeans start the "boxing day shit" thread. 'cos they fucking well will if you're not vigilant.

I can't speak for LeighHart but I can all but guarantee I will never start a thread about taking a dump. I'm a Ladee after all.

Good luck to one and all with their post-Chrismas toiletry evacuation (and perhaps ejaculation).

A happy Boxing Day to you all x

thraxx

#27
Right, two days of paté, oysters, sprouts and duck and I am now in physical pain and can't hold it in any longer.  I was hoping to keep it in for another day at least, but the inlaws have gone which means that I can unashamedly spend 30 mins on the shit bowl.  I have to end this post now as it is coming out right now:  I just hope I am spry enough to grab the Red Son graphic novel on the way without risking calamity.

poo

Norovirus - lost 8lbs since Saturday.

Hangthebuggers

rip poo.

One of LOL NO good guyz\!!1!