Peabody Geggins & the Useless Guff Mobile.

[Glebe]

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, they're at it again! Not content with 'vole-ing' the matron, various munchkins - and their sloppy not-gleat solipsistic catechism budgerigars - just keep on keepin' on, locking Murnaghan and the Eggheads crew in a vat of Guinness while poor ol' Peggy McGee licks the melted Twix off the salty Mormon's bollocks. And if that weren't enough - and you'll be mortified to hear this - Roger Daltry is sueing The Beano for allegedly spreading crumpet crumbs AROUND JOE PASQUALE'S BIDET.

But herein lies the rub. With just 453 shopping days 'til Micklemass, where now for those soup-bleaters? If you have the answer- or just want to pop me a line, care of Titschmarsh! - please send a signed, sealed and delivered self-stamped address envelope plus £45 P&P via P&O Ferries to arrive no later then 24th Dec 1989. Overseas add a bamboo switch, except for Macau. Roy Hudd is acting as our estate agent.