101 live music clichés you lap up like a dog/detest

[Goldentony]

The thing I like most about live hip hop the always inevitable moaning at the soundman. I always like to have a bet with myself on how long it'll take. I think the shortest it's ever happened was Shabazz Palaces, but Ghostface before that was king of it.

[NoSleep]

Is it when they visit the UK or is there evidence that they give US soundmen the same treatment?

Different genre, but Sonic Youth sounded miles better than every other band at the Xmas 2006 ATP. When I wandered down to the soundman to ask why, he explained he had been specially imported from the States to do SY's sound and that some other guy was doing all the other bands' sound; this "other guy" just turned everything up up to max and whacked the bass up to as far as it could go without the speakers blowing. So aside from SY everyone else sounded like a deafening bassy drone essentially.

[Gavin M]

Some tropes exclusive to classical music (specifically to Proms season mainly):

17.  Heave Fucking Ho.

18.  The audience cheering when the leader plays the tuning note (the A below middle C, fact fans) on the piano.

Having said that, classical concerts are largely a sanctuary from gig-twattiness and unnecessary encores.  They happen so rarely (and usually only after a massive audience response) that they're a treat when then do.

[Petey Pate]

(specifically to Proms season mainly)

19.  Honking bicycle horns

20.  Passing along handkerchiefs and pretending to sob

[Gavin M]

19.  Honking bicycle horns

20.  Passing along handkerchiefs and pretending to sob

I don't mind the Last Night as a bit of a laugh, but I'd hate it if the whole season (which lasts a full eight weeks) was like that.  It's also slightly irritating how a lot of people (not necessarily yourself) think that the last 30 minutes of the Last Night is what the whole Proms season (and indeed, classical music concerts in general) is about.

[babyshambler]

Has anyone said ironically cheering the road crew as they walk on to check a mic stand or something?

[Old Nehamkin]

Has anyone said ironically cheering the road crew as they walk on to check a mic stand or something?

As captured by Peter Kay back when he was funny.

[Nobody Soup]

I do quite like the variation of the "rhythm guitarist doing one of his own." when a solo artist is touring with another less succesful solo artist mate of his for support on guitar. Mainly because when he gets the chance to do his little middle of the set interlude you get to see the massive gulf in charisma between a genuinely good solo artist and an average one. sometimes it's not even a matter of skill or looks, it's just evident that most people lack that special something that sets good performers apart from the rest.

anyway

21. crowd surfing/stage diving - a bit rarer these days but still a huge cliche. still always totally awesome, especially when they come your way.

[vrailaine]

[thenoise]

16) Doing this joke:
"Hey lads what key should we play in next?"
"Eh?"
"That'll do!"

When I was in an (unsuccessful) band, after the guitarists spent 2-3 minutes tuning the singer would then say into the mic "That song was called 'tuning up'".  Never got a laugh, not even once, but I would be giggling well into the first song.  I'm so easily amused.

[Old Nehamkin]

Evidently the animator just could not be fucked drawing eyes that day.

[Brundle-Fly]

22. Band members wearing towels round their neck, drinking mineral water, waving to the audience on exeunt.

[holyzombiejesus]

23. Bands thinking that they're being really clever and deconstructing the whole encore process by explaining that they are just going to walk to the end of the stage and then come back on regardless.

24. Audience members wearing old tshirts of the band they are watching.

25. Specific to Belle & Sebastian [nb]so not really a cliche I suppose[/nb]. Getting the fucking audience up on stage to dance while you play. Absolutely fucking horrible. Seen them do this about a dozen times now and each time it gets more vile. Favourite was when I saw them in Preston and Stuart Murdoch invited people up. One boy climbed over the barriers to join in and was immediately set upon by security who chucked him out. Yes!

[NoSleep]

Iggy organises stage rushes by the audience, too. It was always during No Fun so I have no idea whether the tradition continues now that Ron is dead.

[vrailaine]

I think it works for the Stooges though, Belle and Sebastian's a weird choice for that kind of thing.

[NoSleep]

26. Seeing a band more than once (not even on the same tour) and realising every word spoken between numbers is scripted[nb]Apart from the name of the city they're in[/nb]. (That's another Iggy one, along with many other bands).

[thraxx]

23. Bands thinking that they're being really clever and deconstructing the whole encore process by explaining that they are just going to walk to the end of the stage and then come back on regardless.

24. Audience members wearing old tshirts of the band they are watching.

25. Specific to Belle & Sebastian [nb]so not really a cliche I suppose[/nb]. Getting the fucking audience up on stage to dance while you play. Absolutely fucking horrible. Seen them do this about a dozen times now and each time it gets more vile. Favourite was when I saw them in Preston and Stuart Murdoch invited people up. One boy climbed over the barriers to join in and was immediately set upon by security who chucked him out. Yes!

Yeah, that's never sat well with me either, it always seem to be forced and the last thing that a band like them would do.  The other thing they do that really annoys me is what someone has already mentioned - appease the rhythm guitarist by letting him play one of his songs.  He always seems to pick a particularly dull one.

[holyzombiejesus]

Yeah, that's never sat well with me either, it always seem to be forced and the last thing that a band like them would do.  The other thing they do that really annoys me is what someone has already mentioned - appease the rhythm guitarist by letting him play one of his songs.  He always seems to pick a particularly dull one.

That's because they're all dull.

[holyzombiejesus]

27. Fan crews. I used to like it when certain types of band had a large live following that had a name. I've not explained it well, but people like The Mission had (I think) The Eskimos, New Model Army had The Militia and Fields of The Nephilim had one too. Psychic TV had their Temple ov Psychic Youth and I think even dross like Into A Circle and Balaam & The Angel had one too. They all used to hitch around with army surplus kit bags and write their names on motorway service signs.

[doppelkorn]

An indie landfill band I detested called The Others had 'The 853 Kamikaze Stage-Diving Division' who were a shit bunch of lads. Just like the band!

[doppelkorn]

The numbering system here's gone to pot. We'll never hit 101 :(

[Don_Preston]

5A1] Terrible between set music

Most gigs have the PA pumping out rubbish music between acts. I saw a man with a handlebar moustache and hi-vis jacket play Common People by William Shatner at Glastonbury many years ago. I also had to sit through a dub CD playing, but skipping before I saw Steely Dan,

[Thomas]

28. People getting crushed to death at the front. Classic.

[Subtle Mocking]

29. Support acts asking the crowd if they're looking forward to the main act. "WELL, ACTUALLY, NOW YOU COME TO MENTION IT, I'VE SOME TREPIDATION AS TO THE BASS GUITARIST'S ABILITY IN A LIVE SETTING"

[holyzombiejesus]

30. People waiting at the front of the stage to ask a roadie for the setlist.

31. People wandering about near the front of the stage to see if anyone has dropped any money.

32. Students (usually) ripping down those shit posters that student unions print up to advertise the gig.

33. People exaggeratedly shushing loudly to show how self aware they are

[holyzombiejesus]

29. Support acts asking the crowd if they're looking forward to the main act. "WELL, ACTUALLY, NOW YOU COME TO MENTION IT, I'VE SOME TREPIDATION AS TO THE BASS GUITARIST'S ABILITY IN A LIVE SETTING"

Or just shouting "Enjoy the Sarcastic Butlers!" when they come off stage (with mineral water aloft).

[Subtle Mocking]

Or just shouting "Enjoy the Sarcastic Butlers!" when they come off stage (with mineral water aloft).

Yeah, that's just fucking jinxing it.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Eric Clapton Musicians pointing to their head when accompanied by musicians who knew the solo was wrapping up before even they did themselves.

[madhair60]

34. Changing the lyrics of a song slightly to reflect the location of the gig

[Catalogue Trousers]

35 Having some obnoxious twat who, rather than treating moshing as the enjoyable scrimmage that it should be, seems actively bent on causing GBH to anyone that (invariably) he comes into contact with. He is also usually least suited to this, being as he usually is a tooth-missing streak of piss in camos with the sunken features of a hopeless skaghead.