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Favourite Morris lines

Started by Artemis, February 20, 2014, 11:27:46 PM

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Artemis

I just happened upon this, and laughed my bloody head off.

Quote from: Chris MorrisIf you think of a fly and you pull its wings off, it'll crawl. If you push the back half of its body onto the surface it's squiggling on, then you've got its total, undivided attention.

What are your favourite Morris lines, either in or out of character?

Thomas

There are too many to pick a single favourite, but I really like the science talk he gives to this man (just stick with it through the man's asthma example) -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbpF3RIq9lE&t=9m42s

Hymenoptera

There's a plethora of fantastic bits and pieces from everything he's worked on, but the ones that spring to mind immediately are all from Brass Eye. "Top whack quack shack" is absolutely superb, as is the often quoted "twisted brain wrong of a one-off man mental". Also, I'm guilty of referring to people as being "gay as window".

Sexton Brackets Drugbust

Another obvious choice: "A mind as bent as a bad hedge"

From the Radio 1 Shows, I was floored by the conversation about tin lips and ultimately, "a mad boatman with a barge full of bombs."

Cleaners From Venus

"Where's your self re-cocking-spect?"

Also, not 'a line', but in terms of delivery, "rubbery", in OTH will never be surpassed for me. Morris is up there with Rowan Atkinson in terms of comic intonation.


up_the_hampipe

"He fucked me anally pre-natally. I only do unto them as he did unto me!"

Spiteface

"...armed with a special gun"

I just love the idea that it's a "special" gun.

Uncle TechTip

Lick my shoe!!

Don't actually do it!!

I say this in everyday speech a lot. The second part anyway.

Melth


thraxx


I've always been a fan of Beer Users and Quadrospazzes myself.

Then there's "Can I marry my 3 year old girlfriend now that she's 21", answered by the old cunt with NO WAY!

I also like the little 'minimal encouragers' that he uses during the Carla Lane interview... 'Jesus... Yep' 'E...  ah..... yeah...  but...'

"What chance of getting here, let alone HERE"  "Prisons too good for them;  what about Jail?"

Depressed Beyond Tables

Quote from: Thomas on February 20, 2014, 11:30:57 PM
There are too many to pick a single favourite, but I really like the science talk he gives to this man (just stick with it through the man's asthma example) -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbpF3RIq9lE&t=9m42s

Amazing how he sounds like he's taking the piss out of Russell Brand in that clip. The whole, nonsensically-linking-your-train-of-thought-together-whilst-needlessly-complicating-sentence-structure-for-a-simultaneous-desire-to-be-considered-both-thought-provoking-and-in-a-perverse-way-stultifyingly-banal.

Favourites are too many to mention but a few notables:

Nice big plate of eggs (Jam). Never had one but will one day.

Try telling that to these bog-brained Murphys and you'd have more chance of getting a blowjob from the pope. I think what makes it so very funny is not just in the 'bog-brained Murphys' which is a top band name phrase in itself, but the delivery which is pitch perfect BBC - with the implied authority and tone to suggest that what is being said is without question.

Morris is a genius at getting the audience to recognise manipulative techniques in the media and feel clever for it.

Another nice thing is that his 'Chris Morris' character was so hard to pin down. We've met his children but really we know nothing of the man. We're left with a lot of odd behaviour and rude inspired quotes to go by. There's is no fully formed character there which gave him constant free reign. He could say anything as 'Chris Morris' and it would not be out of character. That character was never fully formed. Unlike, maybe obviously, Alan Partridge.

One minute he's fucking on screen, next taking heroin. More like Jeremy Paxman meets Patrick Bateman.


Edit: Oh Yeah, "Dad unemployed. Mum, depressed beyond tablets..."

cosmic-hearse

Only heard once, nearly 20 years ago,  so apologies if I've misquoted it, but on his Radio 1 show he described someone as having "a face like a planet"

Johnny Textface

"Thank you.  The warble fly is a parasite, it enters it's hosts through the foot, chews out it's throat, boars out it's backbone and then emerges through a hole in it's back."

It's all in the delivery.  And still my favourite award acceptance speech of all time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTmthUNQSUs

Check Baynham looking over thinking 'I've got to get in with that lot'.

Thomas

Quote from: Johnny Textface on February 22, 2014, 12:54:15 AM
"Thank you.  The warble fly is a parasite, it enters it's hosts through the foot, chews out it's throat, boars out it's backbone and then emerges through a hole in it's back."

It's all in the delivery.  And still my favourite award acceptance speech of all time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTmthUNQSUs

Lots of details in that clip. Morris blowing his gal a kiss, dusting Armando's shoulder, and his smirk what I keep mentioning. What a duo those two make. Can't wait to see Morris and Lee sharing the screen.

Look at Peter Baynham. Ahh.

Johnny Textface

I love the way he shakes Johnathon Ross's hand at the end. It looks ironic, but it's probably geniuine. He's got ironic bones I reckon.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Hymenoptera

Quote from: thraxx on February 21, 2014, 09:18:29 PM
I also like the little 'minimal encouragers' that he uses during the Carla Lane interview... 'Jesus... Yep' 'E...  ah..... yeah...  but...'

"What chance of getting here, let alone HERE"  "Prisons too good for them;  what about Jail?"

That interview is fantastic, his sighed "Jesus" after she mentions the guinea pigs, and his casual "well you wouldn't want a girl to maul a bulldog either". The little bit from 'Patrick De Fronk' in the same episode always tickles me as well, defending fox hunting with "I don't think they'd be nearly as worried if it was a little four legged car. Full of chips."

Kane Jones

^ I also love the line; "The fox feels nothing.  It's made of.. string." The pause of a man thinking on his feet to justify something.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: thraxx on February 21, 2014, 09:18:29 PM
I also like the little 'minimal encouragers' that he uses during the Carla Lane interview... 'Jesus... Yep' 'E...  ah..... yeah...  but...'

Carla - "I've been twenty years..."

Chris - "I'll bet"


Quote from: thraxx on February 21, 2014, 09:18:29 PM
"What chance of getting here, let alone HERE"

"Watch this then... we're trying this.... and there's a tension... and it's just gonna go back like that"

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Depressed Beyond Tables

Every time I hear the Pink Floyd song 'Comfortably Numb' in my head I automatically substitute the line my hands felt just like two baloons for a couple of fortnights in a bad baloon.

There's no going back now.

Utter Shit

I'm a big fan of "they MUCK ABOUT" and "I lost my faith completely when he farted on my balls".

Retinend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tWPikbtzAk
Is this still english?
Are most of the planes airbourne?
Is there an onion limit?
And when they go up to the terminal, and the little jetty goes out, are the planes sniffing at the building?

Thomas

I'm not sure which episode of The Day Today it's in, but Morris kissing Partridge because there's sports news on the way is a good moment.

Kane Jones

Quote from: Thomas on February 22, 2014, 06:25:56 PM
I'm not sure which episode of The Day Today it's in, but Morris kissing Partridge because there's sports news on the way is a good moment.

Yes, it's brilliant. It's quite a wet, affectionate kiss and the way Partridge recoils with his hair slightly out of place is an excellent reaction too. It's the expression on his face followed by his trying to compose himself in a professional manner that gets me.

checkoutgirl

"Wow look at that dead bastard"

Kane Jones

"..and if you think about it, those two children were incredibly lucky not to have been killed to bits."

Thomas

Quote from: Retinend on February 22, 2014, 04:19:14 PM
And when they go up to the terminal, and the little jetty goes out, are the planes sniffing at the building?

The delivery of that particular line is amazing. I think you can him laugh when he says 'yes' and later repeats the question. Also 'he's my father, he's lying down.'

Last weekend my friend and I were in the stitches over the 'spear of frozen liquid waste' motif.

Another that always makes me laugh is 'what are you tryna do?' at 1:05 -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC3c2a4dbcI