Mad!

[poo]

"Me and mam are flying from Cardiff on the 13th and the girls are flying from Newcastle the next day but Linda's in Majorca at the time so she's only gone and booked a flight from Majorca to Malaga! MAD! There's 6 rooms in this apartment and 3 bathrooms which is mental, and....."

This. Loud. On a train. For fucking hours.

[BlodwynPig]

Remember, there is always a Linda.

[BlodwynPig]

I blame people called Linda for all this country's woes and decent into infantilism. I bet she is a future cat lady smelling of pee.

[poo]

I reckon Linda's a chubby girl who's rumoured to have sucked off two blokes at once.

[poo]

The entire train carriage is now aware that this woman has told her boyfriend to start the engine of her car every couple of days while she's away. He has to run it for at least 10 minutes. I bet this gormless trog will be ringing the poor cunt to remind him too.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I've not known anyone called Linda since the 1980s. Are people still called Linda?

[poo]

They're having a big salad on the first night when they get to Malaga, coz Linda's speciality is salad(!), and it means they don't have to do a big shop straight away.

[poo]

Paul is the boyfriend, and he's doing the airport runs. He will be left instructions pinned to the fridge, but she'll also text him when they're at the airport coming home to make sure he's there. If he has any sense, he won't be.

[BlodwynPig]

Linda is really getting on my wick.

i'm sure she'll be getting on the end of a lot of wicks in Malaga.

Poor Paul.

Bet he's a cunt too, though.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I like how Linda's speciality is a salad. What cunt can't make a salad? It's just a bit of chopping , and flinging some vegetables on a plate. Salad as her speciality, indeed. Silly cow.

[BlodwynPig]

Is there any way you can spill boiling hot gravy on Linda after returning from the buffet car?

[Birdie]

Is there any way you can spill boiling hot gravy on Linda after returning from the buffet car?

Linda is someone referred to in the call.  We do not know the name of the protagonist.

Poo, can you please find out the lady's name?

[BlodwynPig]

Linda is someone referred to in the call.  We do not know the name of the protagonist.

Poo, can you please find out the lady's name?

They're all called Linda.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

...by the time I've...no,no, I just can't go through with it.

[Neville Chamberlain]

They're having a big salad on the first night when they get to Malaga, coz Linda's speciality is salad(!), and it means they don't have to do a big shop straight away.

To be fair, that's pretty sensible. The last thing you want to do when you arrive somewhere is go for a big shop. They could go to a restaurant, I suppose, but maybe they just want to stay in their accommodation after the journey and just chill for a bit instead of heading straight out. And if Linda's pretty good with the old salad, then fair play to her I say :-)

[Milverton]

This is the reason I don't travel on public transport without my iPod, a pair of earphones, a spare set just in case, and on very long journeys, one of those mobile phone jammers.

[poo]

Should clarify this was a face-to-face conversation. Well I say conversation, I don't think I heard the other woman speak once. Mercifully, I am now off the train. I did manage to ascertain that this holiday isn't even happening until fucking August. Also heard mention of an "English Comedy Night", but it was just too offensive for my brain to cope with, so my ears (well, my one functioning ear) just shut down for that bit to spare me the trauma.

[madhair60]

"So I sent her an email telling her 'I'm confused.com'"

"You're feeling confused.com?"

"Yes I'm confused.com."

all day erry day

[shiftwork2]

I beg to differ Neville.  What sort of person doesn't immediately buy a 2 litre bottle of orange Fanta when arriving on a beach holiday?  It's practically the law.

[leighhart]

I met my wife on a train
Never been on one since

[Birdie]

Remember, there is always a Linda.

Never stop looking for her.

[BlodwynPig]

Never stop looking for her.

Daddy, daddy, come and look
See what I have found
A little ways away from here
While digging in the ground

Come away my Linda
Come in and close the door
It's nothing, just a picture-book
They had before the war

[clayhill halls of residen]

To be fair, that's pretty sensible. The last thing you want to do when you arrive somewhere is go for a big shop. They could go to a restaurant, I suppose, but maybe they just want to stay in their accommodation after the journey and just chill for a bit instead of heading straight out. And if Linda's pretty good with the old salad, then fair play to her I say :-)

I'm sorry Nev but why go on holiday with all the sun sea etc and sit indoors to eat, fuck Linda and her salad when you can be having platos die dia?

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Just go to the buffet carriage and buy the noisiest packet of crisps there. And eat them. As slowly as possible. Never stop eating them if possible.

[SetToStun]

I've not known anyone called Linda since the 1980s. Are people still called Linda?

Generally speaking, these days, only the ones called Linda.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Never stop looking for her.

Hello, Pat Kane here.  Musician, Writer, Consultant, Theorist and Activist.  Have you seen my bunnet?  Oh....it's on my heid, as we used to used to say in my Coatbridge boyhood, when I first became interested in the cultural contradictions of informationalism and came to realise that imagination, mental agility, empathy and passion are the crucial elements that distinguishes one product or service from another.

You will remember my classic single, Looking for Linda, a triumph of imagination, mental agility, empathy and passion; artistically strong but commercially a disappointment.

I'm pleased to hear that it's well remembered in New Zealand.  That has put all my strenuous enterprises in their proper and bathetic context.  It's not easy being the renaissance man of the Monklands.

Bye for noo!

Pat
x

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

^ I *still* remember that really pretentious article you wrote about sweets for the NME. Slaphead. 

[Neville Chamberlain]

Generally speaking, these days, only the ones called Linda.

It's just that for me, I always think of Linda Lusardi, who was "big" - if you know what I mean!!!!!! - in the 1980s. For that reason alone, Linda is a very 1980s name for me. I always imagine a young blonde woman with a perm, a baggy white shirt and stonewashed denim jeans dancing to Wham! in a shitty club in, I dunno, Barking or Majorca or somewhere. That woman will always be a Linda to me.

Just me, then? :-(

[BlodwynPig]

It's just that for me, I always think of Linda Lusardi, who was "big" - if you know what I mean!!!!!! - in the 1980s. For that reason alone, Linda is a very 1980s name for me. I always imagine a young blonde woman with a perm, a baggy white shirt and stonewashed denim jeans dancing to Wham! in a shitty club in, I dunno, Barking or Majorca or somewhere. That woman will always be a Linda to me.

Just me, then? :-(

Agreed

[Vodka Margarine]

Everyone at school's mum would always be called either Linda or Sylvia.