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What is Chris saying in that interview in the Brass Eye "Sex" episode

Started by Gooseboy, August 22, 2004, 07:03:36 AM

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Gooseboy

What is Chris saying when his mouth is being blurred and his speech garbled?  I've looked through the FAQ but found nothing.  I've only seen the show via the DVD so I have no idea if this happened when it was originally aired.


alan strang

Transmitted:

QuoteMORRIS
So what's next?

TATCHELL
So what's next?

MORRIS
Yeah, what do you reckon? I mean, what's gonna be the next issue, and will it be for the next election?

TATCHELL
I think undoubtedly Outrage will make an intervention at the time of the next General Election.

MORRIS
Are you gonna (CROAKING FROG)?

TATCHELL
I think we'll be thinking about doing what we can to put pressure on various people in authority...

MORRIS
Yeah, b-b-but, man...y'know, I mean, if you...if that...was on the agenda...I mean, th-th-the frog wouldn't come out of the box, would he?

TATCHELL
The frog certainly would come out of the box.

MORRIS
What, (CROAKING FROG)?

TATCHELL
If two cabinet ministers came out...

MORRIS
Howard, (CROAKING FROG)...

TATCHELL
That would certainly make a very, very big impact.

MORRIS
[Scoffs] But you say that Labour would then...two of them would come at well probably, wouldn't they?

TATCHELL
Well...

MORRIS
They're following suit like, y'know, kids playing snap...

TATCHELL
Well, I think...y'know...the problem is everybody's too scared to do it by themselves. You get six, seven, eight, nine, ten MPs all coming out at once - none of them are picked on individually...[Morris does 'Phew, steady on' type reactions] ...they'll all be able to have the mutual support and solidarity hopefully of their colleagues...

MORRIS
You get Jack Straw, Robin Cook [Ambient FX] and Michael Howard - would there be an argument for them coming out if they weren't gay?

TATCHELL
Well that might be an interesting proposition...

MORRIS
It's a bloody convincing argument. Why not send [Croaking frog] a tape of this programme, say, '[Ambient noise], come on mate, you're obviously [Ambient FX]...[Ambient FX], you're a big (CROAKING FROG).

TATCHELL
(Warily) ...Yes.

Untransmitted:

QuoteMORRIS
So what's next?

TATCHELL
So what's next?

MORRIS
Yeah, what do you reckon? I mean, what's gonna be the next issue, and will it be for the next election?

TATCHELL
I think undoubtedly Outrage will make an intervention at the time of the next General Election.

MORRIS
Are you gonna out Portillo?

TATCHELL
I think we'll be thinking about doing what we can to put pressure on various people in authority...

MORRIS
Yeah, b-b-but, man...y'know, I mean, if you...if that...was on the agenda...I mean, th-th-the frog wouldn't come out of the box, would he?

TATCHELL
The frog certainly would come out of the box.

MORRIS
What, Portillo?

TATCHELL
If two cabinet ministers came out...

MORRIS
Howard and Portillo.

TATCHELL
That would certainly make a very, very big impact.

MORRIS
[Scoffs] But you say that Labour would then...two of them would come at well probably, wouldn't they?

TATCHELL
Well...

MORRIS
They're following suit like, y'know, kids playing snap...

TATCHELL
Well, I think...y'know...the problem is everybody's too scared to do it by themselves. You get six, seven, eight, nine, ten MPs all coming out at once - none of them are picked on individually... [Morris does 'Phew, steady on' type reactions] ...they'll all be able to have the mutual support and solidarity hopefully of their colleagues...

MORRIS
You get Jack Straw, Robin Cook, Michael Portillo and Michael Howard - would there be an argument for them coming out if they weren't gay?

TATCHELL
Well that might be an interesting proposition...

MORRIS
It's a bloody convincing argument. Why not send Portillo a tape of this programme, say "Here's a tape of you being outed on a TV programme that hasn't gone out yet..."

TATCHELL
Well that could be a very good idea, worth working on. Maybe we should give some more thought to that. Maybe we can have a chat with your lawyers and see what we can come up with.

MORRIS
Obviously law comes into it but law can go out of it as well.

TATCHELL
Yes, I mean, an MP would be very foolish to sue over the accusation of being gay...

MORRIS
Certainly - in an open and friendly way. (to camera) Michael Portillo. Come on, mate, you're obviously gay. Come out of the closet. You're a big gay man! Come out, for God's sake. What's the problem? (to Tatchell) Can you think of any argument against it?

TATCHELL
(Shakes head)

MORRIS
Okay, let's just make a bet. Will he?

TATCHELL
I doubt it on current form, but he might. He might.

MORRIS
(Shrugs amiably. Turns to camera again) Are you listening? This isn't just a big gay dream. This is real life.

TATCHELL
Well exactly! And he...and he isn't in tune with real life.

MORRIS
He'd also look like a guy who'd had a great weight lifted off his shoulders. And he might look a lot more acceptable. Just purely facially.

TATCHELL
...more sexy and, you know, just a bit more relaxed and attractive, y'know. People who've got psychological burdens tend to look very, y'know, guurrrr...

MORRIS
Pinched.

TATCHELL
Pinched, yeah. And I think getting it off his shoulders and, y'know...

MORRIS
He'd either put on a lot of weight with the happiness or he'd lose a bit.

TATCHELL
...yes.

Isn't there a download of the latter on the site?