Unbelievably cringey YouTube stuff

[Retinend]

I cringed through this until I couldn't take it anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlmZkY1uqXM

It's not even tedX... what is this shite?

[Retinend]

I made it to her character at 8.45 and even the audience doesn't understand her "jokes"

[Urinal Cake]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c
Yeah

[daffs]

This shit has been popping up on my facebook today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY

A few people on facebook saying it 'makes you think' and how it's 'so true'. These are the same people who crave jobs in industries unrecognisable for their adaptation to digital technology and who post any excursion to the outside world in nicely packaged photo albums. Which is fine, just don't forget that the second someone speaks a few rhymes over some manipulative music. Spoken word poetry enthusiasts (think we had a thread a while back didn't we?) must be appalled at the shit people promote on facebook/youtube, like that guy who 'likes a girl who reads'.

[partridge]I'd love to know[/partridge] how he managed to get from asking for directions to dinner. Maybe they were on their way to the same place and got talking. It's not impossible. It's pretty fucking unlikely you'd end up with someone for the rest of your life off the back of a chance encounter though. Nevertheless, just as likely he'd use his phone to get there and then meet her there anyway, thus reaching the same outcome.

As for leaving your phone at home, what's the point in having one if you're using it as a landline?

[stunted]

Thank god this shitty weekend is over!!! Now for another shitty week and weekend. It never ends

Edit: Bit late to the party.

[QDRPHNC]

I'm at work, so I can't check all these videos, but this is the top video of all time in the /cringe subreddit.

It's a young man recording a message for his girlfriend of 7 months. I couldn't get past the first few seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f_ec37PXNQ&feature=fvwrel

[robotam]

This shit has been popping up on my facebook today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY

It reminded me of this.

[Johnny Townmouse]

I'm at work, so I can't check all these videos, but this is the top video of all time in the /cringe subreddit.

It's a young man recording a message for his girlfriend of 7 months. I couldn't get past the first few seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f_ec37PXNQ&feature=fvwrel

This is the famous one he did which in some ways is worse:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6laGvKtPZYQ&list=UUMf2IaFRcZY5uExJYp56p-w

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

When did Screech Powers become such a cloying romantic?

[Bored of Canada]

It reminded me of this.

Fucking hell. Always jump at the excuse to relisten to iBrain.
It's so transgressive. You can feel the other people in the room as he pushes it further and further.

[Artemis]

This is the famous one he did which in some ways is worse:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6laGvKtPZYQ&list=UUMf2IaFRcZY5uExJYp56p-w

Fucking hell. I remember watching that at some point in my past and finding it so excruciating I actually blocked out all memory of it.

[DangledTeeth]

MC Hotwheels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASF4gOWhN1c

[Consignia]

This is the famous one he did which in some ways is worse:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6laGvKtPZYQ&list=UUMf2IaFRcZY5uExJYp56p-w

Funny to see he was doing Pokemon videos a couple of years previously. Maybe he could mash up his styles. "Hey baby doll, I love you more than all the Pikachus in Viridian Forest."

[Retinend]

This is the worst: "Fedoras are awesome"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4QBRgyitFs

[Beep Cleep Chimney]

This is the worst: "Fedoras are awesome"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4QBRgyitFs

I lasted 20 seconds.  Jeeeeezuz.

[Catalogue Trousers]

It's not the worst while pewdiepie is around. At least they've got good hats. pewdiepie doesn't even have that.

[Jakey Chesterton]

I've not managed to watch more than about a minute of this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDPJEPEfdTk

It's furries acting out their 'random' internet personas in real life.

[Retinend]

still a virgin by cause of unfortunacies

many say I have a way with words





my intelligence: the defining feature of my individual

and it is defining of my enlightened self

[Jakey Chesterton]

still a virgin by cause of unfortunacies

many say I have a way with words





my intelligence: the defining feature of my individual

and it is defining of my enlightened self

Hmm, not sure if real - too many memes: atheist enlightened by intelligence, MLP, Sagan, Fedora, cargo cultish signifiers of sophistication (the wine references) etc.

Fairly sure this guy's real though:

http://scot.tk/lookingforawoman.htm#top

I would though consider taking on a woman who would be bringing her children from a previous relationship with her to stay with us - so long as my woman is ready to conceive right away and is prepared to deliver my children to create our new family.

My woman's daughters would be particularly welcome but I won't allow a woman's teenage or older sons to move in with me given my current circumstances of limited living space as I don't want to have to deal with testosterone-fuelled conflicts with a young man especially with us both bottled up in a small flat.
....
Ages: Well I am 49 (in 2010) and my main requirement is that my lady be of child-bearing age (aged 16 to 36 is fine), and younger women have time to bear more children. The more children a woman could bear for me, the happier I'll be.
...
This table describes my preferred maximum waists and the corresponding minimum hips dimensions in a woman. If a woman's hips are at least 1.25 times as big as her waist when we first meet then fine.

As an example, consider the measurements of a woman who had a waist of around 29 inches (74cm) and hips of around 39 inches (99cm). That would be great because 39 divided by 29 equals 1.34 which is easily bigger than 1.25.

These are my preferred dimensions for a non-pregnant lady when we first meet. Clearly, I will be delighted to see my woman's waist line expand every time she gets pregnant with my next child. My measurements have grown with time so I will understand if her measurements change with time as well.

Breast sizes I am not so fussy about - small, medium or large - I like them all.

....

Trying for children: I'd like to try for my first baby right away. So I'd advise my woman to be as sure as she can be that I'm right for her before she moves in. When my lady moves in, I'll be expecting to have sex with her with no contraception. At my age, I have no time to waste before getting my family started.

[DangledTeeth]

FFFFFuck! That Peter Dow one is staggeringly desperate. Somehow, a photo depicting himself in a pair of boxers isn't going to surpass the inclusion of a link to a Foreigner music video.

Then again, it could be worse...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdoItp0V1wE&list=UUsDyXRE_arayJOuLGyOPybA

[Urinal Cake]

It's not the worst while pewdiepie is around. At least they've got good hats. pewdiepie doesn't even have that.

Most of his fans must be 14 year old boys in awe that he can make millions playing video games and have a hot girlfriend. He may not have a hat but he does have Edgar.

[Retinend]

Most of his fans must be 14 year old boys in awe that he can make millions playing video games and have a hot girlfriend.

He's literally ruining lives, now you put it that way.

[Retinend]

worlds worst expression of love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIO9LgFPC5g

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

worlds worst expression of love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIO9LgFPC5g

Christ, there's a fuck-ton of cunts making youtube videos with this exact fast cut pacing, delivery and style - pop culture pundits in particular, constantly moving, rolling their eyes and using needless wavey-hands gestures in an attempt to make, what's essentially a talking head, dynamic and engaging. It's even reminiscent of the earlier link of the lad trying to organise an OKcupid date, he was just less confident in his delivery. Zach Braff has a lot to answer for.

[touchingcloth]

youtube.com/watch?v=8COkoG5hV0g

I alone am something like a whole 10% of the viewership for this video so, so as not to potentially cause mental upset for the uploader were he to find this thread, I'll post it without a hyperlink. In it, a grown adult sits on his bed and sets the world right on a philosophical confusion. Guess what he completely lacks? The rest of his videos are just as bizarre and become compulsive viewing, if you have the patience. "Pseudish" doesn't begin to describe where he's coming from.

This is amazing! But his video on materialism is even better - I have been struggling not to laugh out loud in the office at the final twenty seconds of this masterpiece youtu.be/BsFIYZkQBOA?t=4m49s

[BritishHobo]

Argh, that birthday video. I'd forgotten all about that one, damn you.

They make me cringe but also feel both terrible and a bit intrusive. They're personal dynamics laid out for the whole world - between him and that girl, that's probably how they always talk and act, and when there's just two people who 'get' it, that's cool. Then you put it up on YouTube for millions of strangers to see, and suddenly... it's very bizarre. Especially when, as with this video, it's him going through their personal history and telling her how much he loves her. Like, I've done things not too different from that when I was younger, but thankfully I never uploaded 'em to YouTube or anywhere where anybody else could see them.

The fact that literally every line he says has to be followed-up with a joke or a voice is pretty irritating though. BUT, I did actually really quite like all the Disneyland workers playing along with his confessional thing - that was kind of cute on their part.

[Rev]

Fairly sure this guy's real though:

http://scot.tk/lookingforawoman.htm#top

Christ yes, it is real - that guy has been notorious in Aberdeen for decades, generally found hanging around the university campus handing out leaflets about whatever fleeting thought he had the previous night.  Good to see he's as stable as ever.

[Retinend]

They make me cringe but also feel both terrible and a bit intrusive. They're personal dynamics laid out for the whole world - between him and that girl, that's probably how they always talk and act, and when there's just two people who 'get' it, that's cool. Then you put it up on YouTube for millions of strangers to see, and suddenly... it's very bizarre. Especially when, as with this video, it's him going through their personal history and telling her how much he loves her. Like, I've done things not too different from that when I was younger, but thankfully I never uploaded 'em to YouTube or anywhere where anybody else could see them.

She'd have to be a disney princess in heart and soul to be wooed by that. I'm pretty sure that all the estrogen in her body would have curdled at the first high pitched squeal, and evaporated at the Mickey Mouse impression . The worst birthday present ever.

edit: fixing my bad habit of using quotation marks misleadingly

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

I'd have more sympathy if he hadn't uploaded it himself, in an effort to appear like he leads a whimsical sitcom life.

He hasn't just put the video up to get a message to his intended love, but also to garner attention from impressed onlookers who will coo approval and admiration at his cute, romantic gesture, gaining himself social currency in the process - that this seems to have largely backfired is besides the point.

Cynicism.

[Retinend]

If this is fake it's some superb character work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzbYUpM4AUw#t=179