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March 28, 2024, 11:42:45 AM

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Phil Collins...Cunt?

Started by Johnny Textface, June 01, 2014, 10:25:00 PM

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Johnny Textface

He came of retirement recently to play at his sons school or summat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Jmc6TZ5Guw

Any fans on here? Whats the craic with the retirement anyway? I heard somewhere that it was due to some sort of problem and he can no longer play the drums, which is a shame.  He's certainly disappeared from the British public eye (was he ever in it?)

They did one of the those classic albums docs about Face Value and he came across as a perfectly decent, creative chap.  Any song recommendations?  Apparently the rap singers love him.

I love this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7Z-eUmR2bM

Easy Lover is pretty cool too.

Maybe he should do a Bowie style comeback album after years in the hinterland (although I expect it would be a load of shit).

Thanks for your time.

Don_Preston

Pencils at the ready for the Collins Cliché Checklist:

1) He's a Tory
2) Dumped his wife by fax
3) NoSleep mentions Brand X
4) Drumming gorilla
5) BUSTER
6) Ruined Zeppelin's come-back at Live Aid
7) Brass Eye Special
8) The 'wank' background vocal/horn stab in Sussudio
9) Ruined Genesis
10) Bob Hoskins look-a-like


BlodwynPig

In his favour

1. Better than the Beatles

Johnny Textface

God forgot about the Brass Eye.

the psyche intangible

Halcyon days of charting, bald probable perverts.

SavageHedgehog

He's not actually a Tory, or at least that's what he sez anyway

Mark Steels Stockbroker


non capisco

Quote from: Don_Preston on June 01, 2014, 10:34:04 PM
8) The 'wank' background vocal/horn stab in Sussudio

Well, I'm the main proponent of that one, having mentioned in within these forums with grinding regularity. It's not a horn stab though. It's definitely a human voice saying 'wank'.

I don't hate Phil Collins. He seems like an OK bloke and I have a fond memory of an early childhood holiday being allowed to drink too much fizzy drink and going nuts in an arcade to the thrilling strains of 'Easy Lover'. My favourite Phil Collins thing, however, is when a Radio 1 broadcast of one of his live shows overran and severely cut into an edition of Mark Radcliffe's Graveyard Shift due to an extended encore of 'Take Me Home' where P. Collins spent aeons winding the song down singing 'TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOOOOOME' against a bank of dwindling synths. The genuine annoyance of Radcliffe and Riley was palpable when they were eventually allowed on, with the boy Lard contemptuously wailing 'TAKE ME BACK HOOOOOOOOME' at any given opportunity.

checkoutgirl

"Thirty million voted for Hitler. Thirty million buy Phil Collins albums. You draw your own conclusions."
Alan Parker: Urban Warrior

That pretty much sums up Collins for me. Never my cup of tea. Very middle of the road as a solo artist. I'm pretty sure I heard Rhys Thomas say on his podcast that Collins's back is fucked and he can't grab the drumsticks anymore and if he wants to play the very occasional gig he has to sellotape the sticks to his hands. I don't really know anything about him as a person but if he broke it off with his wife by fax....It sounds made up but if it's true it would put him in very twatty territory. I wouldn't hold the Brasseye thing against him, that just makes him gullible and it's not like he looks for the limelight. You never see him on English telly anymore.

Pepotamo1985

Quote from: Don_Preston on June 01, 2014, 10:34:04 PM
Pencils at the ready for the Collins Cliché Checklist:

I'm sure your tongue was (at least vaguely) in cheek when you posted this, but anyway...

Quote from: Don_Preston on June 01, 2014, 10:34:04 PM
2) Dumped his wife by fax

The truth is that the specifics of the (already long-mooted) divorce were discussed and agreed via fax.

Quote from: Don_Preston on June 01, 2014, 10:34:04 PM
6) Ruined Zeppelin's come-back at Live Aid

Page and Plant were so high they refused/were unable to rehearse prior to the show, and Page hadn't even bothered to tune his guitar.

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Interviewed in VOX magazine in 1991, he said he'd heard Inspiral Carpets being praised on radio 1, so he watched them on TOTP and thought they were "lame".

This may be interpreted as a positive.

Bobby Treetops

Didn't he dump his wife by fax? Or maybe that was Nick Faldo.

23 Daves

Funny you should mention this, because I was thinking about Collins only yesterday (it doesn't happen often). As a kid I really, really loved the Genesis single "Keep It Dark" and would play it enthusiastically, baffling my parents and brothers with my adoration of a song that was only just a hit, and even then probably only a hit because Genesis fans all went out and bought it at the same time.

I listened to it again for the first time in years last night. It's OK, but no more than that. I'm baffled by my little phase as a child now too. Normally with past favourites I can hear something much more interesting in them.

http://youtu.be/gQkiqQ7zZBQ

However, I've only just realised that the lyrics are about a man who is abducted by aliens, then told that nobody will believe him if he returns telling them where he's been, so to inform his family and friends he's been kidnapped by thieves instead. "Keep it dark," they say, knowing that a savage, bleak story is more relatable than a wonderful one.

And I quite like that aspect, with the emphasis on "quite". It's very insightful of Collins. It's not only a comment on the media, but a comment on humanity itself - unlike "Another Day In Paradise", which was just sub-Readers Digest readers poem styled whimbreling. Still, I suppose artists are never appreciated for their best work in their own time.

hummingofevil

Quote from: Don_Preston on June 01, 2014, 10:34:04 PM
Pencils at the ready for the Collins Cliché Checklist:

1) He's a Tory
2) Dumped his wife by fax
3) NoSleep mentions Brand X
4) Drumming gorilla
5) BUSTER
6) Ruined Zeppelin's come-back at Live Aid
7) Brass Eye Special
8) The 'wank' background vocal/horn stab in Sussudio
9) Ruined Genesis
10) Bob Hoskins look-a-like

At least 4 of those things are reasons to like him.

Pepotamo1985

Quote from: 23 Daves on June 01, 2014, 11:51:59 PM
And I quite like that aspect, with the emphasis on "quite". It's very insightful of Collins. It's not only a comment on the media, but a comment on humanity itself

There is an idea of a 23 Daves, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real him, only an entity...

Absorb the anus burn

He drummed competently on a few Brian Eno albums...

That's it.

Collins has no other redeeming features. His head is the wrong shape, his accent unconvincing and his cover version of a Motown classic one of the worst crimes in pop music.

Sam

I really liked his songs for the Disney Tarzan films.


Maurice Yeatman

His immense drumming on Unorthodox Behaviour easily cancels out his faxing his wife while taking a dump.

thepuffpastryhangman

Phil Collins has done far more decent work than many far more revered (round here anyway) performers.

He was well chummy with John Martyn, so he can't be all bad.

Loads of Genesis stuff was ambitious and pretty unique. Again, far more than can be said for most performers.

He was an easy hate figure with his 'I'm leaving the country if Labour get in' line (Did he say that?) but his total output puts him well above countless 'alternatives'. Back in the day, when Genesis were the most popular group on earth, he did a mean tambourine solo too. He may know what he likes, but that's no bad thing.

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Quote from: Bobby Treetops on June 01, 2014, 11:35:11 PM
Didn't he dump his wife by fax? Or maybe that was Nick Faldo.

No, he was never in a relationship with Nick Faldo. That's a myth.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Maurice Yeatman on June 02, 2014, 01:37:18 AM
His immense drumming on Unorthodox Behaviour easily cancels out his faxing his wife while taking a dump.

We need to clear this up once and for all. He dumped on a fax machine while taking his wife.

Guy

And then faxed his dump to Switzerland.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: thepuffpastryhangman on June 02, 2014, 07:06:13 AM
Phil Collins has done far more decent work than many far more revered (round here anyway) performers.

He was well chummy with John Martyn, so he can't be all bad.

Loads of Genesis stuff was ambitious and pretty unique. Again, far more than can be said for most performers.

He was an easy hate figure with his 'I'm leaving the country if Labour get in' line (Did he say that?) but his total output puts him well above countless 'alternatives'. Back in the day, when Genesis were the most popular group on earth, he did a mean tambourine solo too. He may know what he likes, but that's no bad thing.

He is an amazing artist, a great drummer. I just don't get why he went down the bland ballad road...i know he steered Genesis towards the pop market and in a way he was right - times changed...

chand

I heard that he dumped the saxophone solo on Gerry Rafferty's 'Baker Street' by fax.

checkoutgirl

I heard he bought his third wife a fax machine and she dumped him and ran off to Germany and paid no tax. This caused Phil to go mad and start wearing a teeshirt and hat with "nonce" written on it. He then became a Conservative MP even though he lives in Europe. He can't really drum either, he gets a man in to do it for him. And he's not really bald.

Pepotamo1985

Quote from: Absorb the anus burn on June 02, 2014, 12:10:11 AM
He drummed competently on a few Brian Eno albums...

That's it.

He does some very, very interesting drumming on Peter Gabriel's Melt. So nyeh.

Johnny Textface

What's actually wrong with dumping someone by fax anyway? I like it.

holyzombiejesus

He worked with John Cale too, I think.

Re the whole fax affair, I remember this being discussed in earnest on This Morning and they decided that whilst Michael Aspel (another callous wife-dumper in the news at the time) had managed to keep his "inner core of niceness", Collins had lost his. Sure he was heartbroken.

Also, voting tory is one thing, it's the pre -election threats to quit the country in the event of a Labour win/ tax increases that's pretty unpallatable.

On the plus side, I liked it when he had a tin of paint on his piano on TOTP when his wife dumped him for a painter and decorator.

chand

Quote from: Johnny Textface on June 02, 2014, 10:34:00 AM
What's actually wrong with dumping someone by fax anyway? I like it.

Just a risky strategy given the unpredictability of faxes really. That fax could've been sat on the machine for ages and she'd think he still loved her until she went to print some shit out. Plus personally I would say that after a certain amount of time with a musician you earn the right to get dumped through song.

I heard Phil's a generous man who let the top of his head out, at a generous rate, and either used it to replace a subsided polar region, or polished it and used the reflected gleam as an energy saving source of light for southern England. 

Seriously though, In The Air Tonight is a total and utter classic.