Author Topic: I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.  (Read 943 times)

alan nagsworth

  • humming hell of ditties
I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.
« on: June 05, 2014, 07:12:48 PM »
I've got a twatty new job and this new twat of a job requires me to have a bunch of documents to hand for each blah blah you don't really care, do you? I can practically hear a thousand tech heads screaming out "JUST GET TO THE FUCKING PROBLEM SO I CAN SOLVE IT!" Well, that eagerness and enthusiasm is highly appreciated, so thanks!

I basically need something cheap but doesn't cost a fucking absolute wad for cartridges and new hydraulics and neons and shit when the built in ones inevitably crap out after a week. It doesn't even need to be colour, so I'm thinking a laser one would be a good idea. Is that a good idea? I don't know.

I hate printers. I loathe to even entertain the thought of owning one. I don't know where I'm going to put the fucking thing for a start, and then there's all the other problems like feeding it every six hours and checking if it hasn't spunked a load of ink into its little printer nappy. Ordinarily I quite enjoy spending half my day comparing reviews and prices online but this time I instantly want to be sick when I type "printer" into Amazon.

Summary, then. I need a printer and here are my requirements:
  • Cheap
  • Reliable
  • Only need black and white (not even white really because if you think about it, the paper's white already!)
  • Doesn't wake me up at 3am printing a load of ASCII pentagrams and making noises I've never heard it make before

Thanks in advance, dudes.

Gurke and Hare

  • Fold water. Roll into small cubes.
Re: I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2014, 07:25:06 PM »
A laser one is probably a good idea. I bought the cheapest one that Rymans had about 4 years ago, and I've had to buy toner for it once. They've got one one for £70 at the moment.

syntaxerror

  • A friend in need is a friend in debt
Re: I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2014, 07:31:14 PM »
Avoid cheap inkjet printers at all costs. Complete false economy, and unreliable as shit. I made the mistake of buying one, and after spending 8 hours fixing it, only for it to break again 10 minutes later, it ended up in lots of little pieces. Don't buy HP.

alan nagsworth

  • humming hell of ditties
Re: I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2014, 07:59:57 PM »
Is that the cheapest for a reliable machine, Burke? I found this guy on Amazon and, well, it's cheaper. I really, really don't want to spend a lot of money on something like this. I'll honestly never use it for anything except my job, and I've already had to spend god knows how much on new clothes and other toss for it.

Uncle TechTip

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Re: I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2014, 08:39:51 PM »
Yeah get a known brand laser and you can't go wrong. Toner will be expensive but once a year, if that. I was lucky to pick up an old HP office laser from the skip at work, fucking huge thing but does the biz, and I think I replaced the toner once in four years.

MojoJojo

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  • Between a cow college and a MetaLab.
Re: I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2014, 08:43:54 PM »
The brother has wireless, while the samsung needs a USB lead. The cartridges for the brother are a bit cheaper, but I've not got any hard numbers for how big they are so yeah, whatever.

Gurke and Hare

  • Fold water. Roll into small cubes.
Re: I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.
« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2014, 09:26:29 PM »
Is that the cheapest for a reliable machine, Burke? I found this guy on Amazon and, well, it's cheaper.

No idea, I just know that I bought mine from Ryman. Samsung's a decent name, it should be any good I'd have thought.

alan nagsworth

  • humming hell of ditties
Re: I need a fucking printer. Ugh. Help please.
« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2014, 09:45:32 PM »
Thanks everyone for your help! It's very much appreciated, nice one. :)