That fucking dog from Britains got Talent : The movie

[FredNurke]

As if the very existence of this thing wasn't baffling enough, I've just noticed who the scriptwriter is. Fucking hell.

Do you see? He has messed up.

[Phil_A]

Do you see? He has messed up.

Precisely. What a weird career trajectory to go from Zombie Dave and The Man's Daddy to...this.

[Pit-Pat]

When people start making children's films they usually say it's so they can do something their own kids can watch.

Apparently that's why John Turturro did Transformers.[nb]It doesn't explain why he cast himself as a man Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara would pay to have a threesome with though [/nb]

Give the general quality of the films people do "for their kids" I tend to think they must hate them and think they're fucking idiots.

[Noodle Lizard]

When people start making children's films they usually say it's so they can do something their own kids can watch.

Apparently that's why John Turturro did Transformers.[nb]It doesn't explain why he cast himself as a man Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara would pay to have a threesome with though [/nb]

Give the general quality of the films people do "for their kids" I tend to think they must hate them and think they're fucking idiots.

This is such a bullshit excuse.  Michael Sheen said the same thing to justify his involvement in the 'Twilight' sequels.  I hope he's learned his lesson now that nobody gives a shit about him.  It's also Johnny Depp's excuse for doing POTC 4 & 5 (which, lest we forget, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley thought was beneath them).

With this, though, I'm not sure.  It can't pay enough to justify the whack to your artistic credibility.  I mean, Olivia Colman was in line to win a BAFTA for Best Actress just a couple of years ago, what the fuck is she up to?

[MuteBanana]

Well look at the cast for Run For Your Wife and the Harry Hill film. I think an element of fun presented to actors can be attractive.

What I want to know is how a dog who cannot sit still with a pair of sunglasses on his head has managed to get his own film.


Fucking amateur.

[Bad Ambassador]

This is such a bullshit excuse.  Michael Sheen said the same thing to justify his involvement in the 'Twilight' sequels.  I hope he's learned his lesson now that nobody gives a shit about him.  It's also Johnny Depp's excuse for doing POTC 4 & 5 (which, lest we forget, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley thought was beneath them).

With this, though, I'm not sure.  It can't pay enough to justify the whack to your artistic credibility.  I mean, Olivia Colman was in line to win a BAFTA for Best Actress just a couple of years ago, what the fuck is she up to?

Olivia Colman has won three BAFTAs in the last 18 months, and Michael Sheen is doing Masters of Sex on USTV. It's very good.

[Noodle Lizard]

Olivia Colman has won three BAFTAs in the last 18 months

Exactly, and now she's done Pudsey.  Why?

As for Michael Sheen, I didn't know about 'Masters Of Sex'.  It still seems like an incredibly stupid decision to go from super-respected dramatic actor to ... well ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7kT0qiv78s just because his daughter said so.

[MuteBanana]

Actors often do things because of their kids.

[Urinal Cake]

When people start making children's films they usually say it's so they can do something their own kids can watch.

Apparently that's why John Turturro did Transformers.[nb]It doesn't explain why he cast himself as a man Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara would pay to have a threesome with though [/nb]

Give the general quality of the films people do "for their kids" I tend to think they must hate them and think they're fucking idiots.

Stewart Lee is set to appear in the live action 'Scooby Doo and Zombie Dragon of St George'.

[imitationleather]

When people start making children's films they usually say it's so they can do something their own kids can watch.

Apparently that's why John Turturro did Transformers.[nb]It doesn't explain why he cast himself as a man Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara would pay to have a threesome with though [/nb]

Give the general quality of the films people do "for their kids" I tend to think they must hate them and think they're fucking idiots.

If this film had been made in the early '90s and my dad was in it and he was like, "Look at me in this film! I am in it so you can watch it!" I would have been all, "There are several shades of cunt I would eat rather than watch this shit with you in it." I really cannot believe that children are like, "Dad's in a film! Wheeeey!" If I know anything about being a child, it's that you never let your parents know you like them. Even if you do!!

[Pit-Pat]

I'm trying to decide if this is the right thread or if I should put it in the Edge of Nonceness one, but I'm pretty happy to declare that making these kinds of films "for your kids" is a form of child abuse.

In other news Peter Bradshaw absolutely loved the film:

Watching this movie, I was overwhelmed with three emotions: boredom, embarrassment and chiefly shame on behalf of everyone involved, shame that something so shoddily made and mediocre could ever have emerged from our film industry. Even the feature film versions of On the Buses were better than this.

[Subtle Mocking]

Those in the film will obviously cry "but it's for kids!", which sort of implies that children are easily-pleased morons. Which they are, but still, it's never nice to exploit that.

[BlodwynPig]

Took the kids to the cinema. They played Angry Birds Reboot through the whole movie (apart from the Trailer for Angry Birds Reboot: The movie)

[Subtle Mocking]

Took the kids to the cinema. They played Angry Birds Reboot through the whole movie (apart from the Trailer for Angry Birds Reboot: The movie)

And so the concept of the film seems even more odd, at a time when kids have more distractions than ever. They've got tablets and games and computers and free music and television. Aside from that, there's still the open air where they can play and discover stuff like back in the day. With all that on offer, why would they want to see a film about some cunting dog?

[imitationleather]

I saw a film about a cunting dog earlier but I would suggest it probably is not the sort of thing that children should watch.

Just like this film the thread is about.

[BlodwynPig]

Indeed Tcloth, there is the rub. Kids are as jaded as adults these days. Not all kids, but a fair few.

[Subtle Mocking]

Kermode's on, this should be fun.

[Replies From View]

When people start making children's films they usually say it's so they can do something their own kids can watch.

Some actors are clearly too narcissistic to even know that children's films already exist without their input.  Maybe their thinking goes something along these lines:  "My child is dependent on me to survive.  It can not eat unless I feed it.  And it can watch no films unless I act for it."

Cunts anyway whatever it is.

[Cleaners From Venus]

Kermode's on, this should be fun.

He sounded offended to even being asked about it.

[Xindioka]

Someone put that fucking dog down. I'm still pissed off about it winning BGT when it should have been those opera singers.

[alan nagsworth]

I love how fucking lowlife scum-sucking proles think artists owe them a living, it's brilliant. "I can't believe so-and-so is doing this, it's so unlike him!" Is it? Do you know him personally? Do you know what it's like to have money thrown in your face for something you can essentially phone in from the comfort of your massive bath tub? No you fucking don't. They don't owe you what you perceive to be their own stream of artistic integrity, they don't even owe you an excuse for doing something out of your comfort zone.

I hope the whole fucking world sells out.

[Phil_A]

I love how fucking lowlife scum-sucking proles think artists owe them a living, it's brilliant. "I can't believe so-and-so is doing this, it's so unlike him!" Is it? Do you know him personally? Do you know what it's like to have money thrown in your face for something you can essentially phone in from the comfort of your massive bath tub? No you fucking don't. They don't owe you what you perceive to be their own stream of artistic integrity, they don't even owe you an excuse for doing something out of your comfort zone.

I hope the whole fucking world sells out.

Jesus. I really hope you're kidding, and not seriously trying to shut down criticism of a fucking dancing dog movie because no-one here has earned the privilege of being able to make a mint for doing the shittest, laziest hackwork it's possible to imagine, in the service of an unredeemable cunt who's negative influence over popular entertainment has set our nation's cultural development back decades. I mean, there's selling out, and there's selling out to Simon bloody Cowell.

[alan nagsworth]

I was exaggerating for comic effect, but honestly? I don't give a shit what people do.

[holyzombiejesus]

What I want to know is how a dog who cannot sit still with a pair of sunglasses on his head has managed to get his own film.

To be honest, my eye wasn't drawn to the wonky sunglasses. If Mickey Rourke had flopped it out during a photo call, there'd have been hell to pay. When I was near my local school and my cock was accidentally on display, people didn't chuckle at my wonky sunglasses. Maybe I should have worn my silver dicky bow round my neck rather than where I thought it sounded like it should go.


Sorry, I'm pissed.

[non capisco]

Imagine being Cindy Beale dithering with indecision over what to wear to the premier of a film about a dancing dog.

[clayhill halls of residen]

Fuck me it's a paint by numbers cash in that kiddies will love because it's got a fluffy talking dog in it, take it for what it is with no aspirations to be considered superior to other fluffy dog films

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&ei=o1XKU_yNOdDY7AabpoDQBA&url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DLWrq4Jjqi7Y&cd=1&ved=0CBsQtwIwAA&usg=AFQjCNHlHrXfNWULOTBHr5fkgJYj3BZ68A

Spoiler alert

which was good enough for Spike Milligan & Victor Spinetti

[close]

[waste of chops]

[Morrison Lard]

Superbly apt username/thread topic combo. ^

[Catalogue Trousers]

Exactly, and now she's done Pudsey

...filthy old cow...

[Noodle Lizard]

Fuck me it's a paint by numbers cash in that kiddies will love because it's got a fluffy talking dog in it, take it for what it is with no aspirations to be considered superior to other fluffy dog films

That's all fine, but considering the British film industry is on its way to non-existent due to lack of funding, it is a bit of a pisser that 3 million quid gets spent on something shite like this.

Then again, I think Syco paid for it, so fuck it.  Whatever.