Barty Goes Bobbins!

[Glebe]

After weeks of intense discussion with a maudlin vole in Wittgenstein's shed trying to hammer out a deal over the current economic crisis in Zagreb, Barty has well and truly gone bobbins! Not doolally, not barmy, not nuts, but well and truly bob-to-the-b-to-the-b-o-b-b-i-n-s! He was last seen running down Cranberry Lane, his eyes bulging as he tore his hair out and screamed out a particularly unnerving version of Yello's 'Rubberband Man'. A search party has been sent out, but after combing the full length of Thetford Forest they could find neither hide nor hair of the bumptious fellow, though within the last hour one young searchling described his shock on "hearing the strangled strains of 'Bohemian Rhapsody, as if somebody was gargling hot tea while having their nuts squeezed in a vice." A discarded piss bottle turned out to be a false alarm ("it doesn't smell like Barty's wee!" exclaimed Captain Flatulous), but there's every hope the loopy nutta will turn up in the morn, wagging his tail behind him!